How to Ask a Girl to Dance

Co-authored by Eddy Baller and Kira Jan

Last Updated: December 25, 2021 References

Whether you're at a party, a club, dance, or anyplace with great music, you might want to ask a girl to dance with you! Asking a girl to dance can seem nerve-wracking, but when you know the right way to do it, you can make the experience easy and fun for both of you. We’ve answered your most common questions on asking a girl to dance so that you can be confident, respectful, and most importantly, have fun dancing!

Question 1 of 8:

How can you tell if a girl wants to dance?

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If you make eye contact from across the room (especially if she smiles at you), she might be interested in dancing with you. If the girl seems to be avoiding eye contact at all costs, then it's probably a good sign she isn't interested. In that case, no worries! You can look around the room for another partner.^{[1]
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Wait a few minutes before approaching her and see if she’s looking around the room for a partner, or if she’s with someone else already.^{[2]
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Question 2 of 8:

How do you approach a girl to ask her to dance?

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Approach her from the front so she sees you coming. Walk towards her directly so she sees that you are probably coming over to talk or ask her to dance. This gives her the chance to prepare (or walk away if she wants to). If you’re feeling nervous about approaching her, remember to stand up tall and take a deep breath. You’ve got this!^{[3]
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- If she’s standing with her back to you, either move around to face her or politely say “hi” to get her attention.
- Never start by grabbing or touching her. Asking a girl to dance should always start with a simple, straightforward question.
Eye contact and a warm smile will show that you are friendly and confident. Do this while you’re walking over to her if she is looking at you.^{[4]
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Question 3 of 8:

How do you ask a girl to dance at a club?

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Naturally transition from dancing by yourself to dancing with her. When the music’s blaring, it can be hard to ask someone to dance without shouting. The easiest way to ask a girl to dance with you at the club is to start dancing by yourself and eventually make your way towards her to let her make a move. Show interest by making eye contact once or twice while you’re dancing near her. Approach her from the front until you’re dancing in front of her. Without physical contact, see if she’ll follow your dance moves or approach you to get closer.^{[5]
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- It’s probably going to be really loud, but you can still lean in and say, “Hey! I’m [your name]. Nice to meet you.”^{[6]
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- Keep what you’re saying short so it doesn’t get lost in the club noise. Try saying “Hey, how’s it going?” or giving her a compliment like “You’re the first girl I noticed here.”^{[7]
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- If you’re not a great dancer, it's totally fine! Keep your dance moves fun and you can even get a little silly. The goal is to show that you’re having fun and not taking yourself too seriously.^{[8]
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- Don’t make her think you’re creepy. Don’t touch, grab, or make physical contact with a girl who is dancing as a way to try and initiate a dance.^{[9]
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Question 4 of 8:

How do you ask a girl to dance at prom?

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Start by making eye contact and giving her a friendly smile. If she’s with a group of friends, it can be a little intimidating to get in there, but you can do it! Just take a deep breath, walk up with a smile, and say “hi” to everyone there to make them feel comfortable with you talking to their friend.^{[10]
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Research source} After you’ve said “hi,” or talked long enough to feel comfortable, you can ask her “Would you like to dance?” or “Do you want to go dance?”^{[11]
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Whether you’re captain of the dance team, or not quite sure what to do with your arms when you’re dancing, it’s okay! Just listen to the music and act like you’re having fun and enjoying yourself.^{[12]
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Research source} Catch her eye or mirror her dance moves to see if she’s willing to engage with you. After a few seconds of dancing, you can offer her your hands to dance together (if your school rules let you dance with a partner).^{[13]
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Question 5 of 8:

How do you ask a girl to dance formally or for a slow dance?

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You don't have to say anything complicated. Even in a ballroom dance setting, a simple “Would you like to dance?” or “Would you care to dance?” works just fine. If you’re feeling nervous, practice it a few times in your head before you go over to talk to her.^{[14]
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- Enunciate and speak slowly to show that you’re calm and confident.^{[15]
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It's more common to lead the girl by the hand for certain types of dances, like salsa, for example, in which you will be holding hands for pretty much the whole dance. Just let her follow you if she doesn't take your hand.^{[16]
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Question 6 of 8:

What do you say while you’re dancing?

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Introduce yourself while you’re dancing. If you’re in a place where the music isn’t too loud, or at formal dance setting, a simple introduction makes it more comfortable to dance with each other (if you don't know each other already). You don't have to spark up a full conversation, although you can make small talk if that feels more comfortable, or if you want to get to know her.^{[17]
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- Say something like, “My name's John, by the way, what's your name?” Follow it up with something like, “What brings you out tonight?” if you want to continue the conversation while dancing.
- You don't have to wait until you’re dancing to make the introduction. Just do whatever feels most natural and comfortable.
When the music is blasting, you and your dance partner might have trouble hearing each other. Don’t sweat it. Just save the conversation for later to avoid miscommunication or having to yell in each other’s ears. You can talk when you go take a break from dancing or when you go to grab a drink.^{[18]
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Question 7 of 8:

What do you do when the dance is over?

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Smile and be genuine with your thanks when the song or dance ends. When you’re respectful, it goes a long way towards making dancing a fun interaction for everyone. Plus, it’s especially important to be polite and kind if you want to get to know the girl beyond dancing!^{[19]
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Escort her off the dance floor. In social dance or formal settings, follow proper etiquette by escorting your partner back to where you met them (or just off the dance floor).^{[20]
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- Don't take it personally if she wants to dance with someone different after you, or if she just wants to take a break, or go back to dancing or talking with her friends. In styles of ballroom or social dance, it’s normal for people to change partners frequently.^{[21]
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Tip: If you want to get to know the girl more after dancing, then this is a good time to ask her if you can get her a drink (it doesn't have to be alcoholic) to continue the conversation. Dancing can be a fun way of flirting and starting an interaction with someone who attracts and interests you.

Question 8 of 8:

What do you say if a girl doesn’t want to dance?

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It can feel rough to get rejected, but don’t let it get you down! To respond to the “no,” politely say something like “You’re a great dancer, and if you’d like to dance later, I’ll be over there.” Being prepared for her to say “no” and respectfully accepting the rejection will make you seem confident and keep the door open if she changes her mind.^{[22]
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Know that a “no” isn't necessarily a negative reflection of you. A girl can have endless reasons for not wanting to dance with you. Brush off the rejection and don't let it hurt your confidence. There are plenty of other girls to dance with!^{[23]
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Question

What should I say when I ask a girl to dance?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

You don't need to have a clever line. Even just simply asking "Would you like to dance?" is a nice and direct way to ask them.

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Question

How would I know if the girl I’m dancing with wants to stop?

Community Answer

Normally, girls show a lot of body language. If you can't pick up on her body language, then ask her if she wants a break and wants to dance later, a girl would normally say yes. If you want to dance again, you can ask. However, a few dances should be enough. Don't hog people or they may not want to dance later. Take your time, girls like breaks and having fun!

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