How to Attract a Virgo Female

Co-authored by Stina Garbis

Last Updated: October 31, 2024 Fact Checked

So you've found a Virgo who's caught your eye, huh? No one can blame you. A girl born between August 23 and September 22 is an enticing, entrancing woman. She's feminine and coy, yet somehow strong and definitely principled. Wanna know how to get her looking at you and only you? It's easy to do if you can approach her slowly, impress her with your sharpness, and accommodate her perfectionism.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Making the Connection

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Be friends with her first. The Virgo female is one you have to draw out slowly. She needs to know who you are and be comfortable with you before things can even touch on romantic or sexual. She likes to know exactly what she's getting into, so be friends with her first. Anything worth it is worth the wait, and she definitely is.^{[1]
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- Use, subtle, incidental touches to get her used to physical contact with you. It doesn't put you up for rejection, but it still gets your touch in her subconscious. Hopefully, she'll start liking it and wanting it more and more. She'll start touching you back, letting you know it's okay to proceed.
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Make the first move. Virgo girls are very shy, so be careful not to mistake shyness for her not being interested in you.^{[2]
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Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.} To start off a relationship with a Virgo, you're going to have to be the one to make the first move, as she's too shy and traditional to do it herself. Once she gets to know you, however, her shyness will wear off and she will become confident around you. But for right now, you'll be doing the brunt of the work.^{[3]
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- Know exactly what you want to do -- she'll be attracted to your determination knowledge. Tell her exactly where you'd like to take her to dinner or what you would like to do this weekend. Who could refuse an offer delivered with such confidence and desire?
- Keep it traditional. Don't get her alone in a dark room and start loosening your belt. Be romantic and slow-to-start. She needs to be courted above all else.
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Be nice and lovable toward her. Virgo women have a soft spot for more romantic words and would prefer to be called "beautiful" or "pretty" instead of "hot" or "sexy." When you're interacting with her, be kind and caring. She will not be impressed by any display of machismo or playful condescension. Games are not her thing.^{[4]
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- She is looking for a partner who will be a constant. Who can help her not worry and put her mind at ease. If you engage in a game of cat-and-mouse or tug-of-war, she won't be having it. She wants to know that you are into her and only her and don't plan on going anywhere. In short, she needs to trust you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 538 wikiHow readers how they would show a Virgo woman their nurturing side, and 54% said they would take care of her. [Take Poll]
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Have intelligent conversations with her. Above all else, Virgo will value your mind.^{[5]
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Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} It's great if you're sweet and good-looking, but if the lights aren't all on upstairs, she'll be heading for the hills in no time at all. So when you're talking to her, find what gets her excited. She's probably well-read on just about everything!^{[6]
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Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.}
- She'll love it if you can talk about current events, politics, literature, music, history, science, and everything in between. If you can keep up with her, she'll know you deserve her and are worthy. So start reading up!
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Read her eyes. Since a Virgo is an animal you have to draw out of its cage, it's important to sense how she's feeling about you. When you're sitting next to her, look into her eyes. If they're lustful and scream that she's dying to get closer to you, go in for the kill. If they're saying, "What the hell are you doing?" it's time to back off.^{[7]
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- A lot of understanding Virgo will be reading her. Sometimes you'll be wrong, but if you've built up a friendship, you should be pretty good at this by now. But if worse comes to worse, you could openly ask her! She'll appreciate your directness as long as you're tactful and diplomatic.

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Having the Look

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Dress snappy. The Virgo woman likes her partner to be a good dresser.^{[8]
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Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.} She's quite the perfectionist, so you gotta be put together, too (she doesn't want to waste her time doing it for you!). The casual Virgo will be good with a nice t-shirt and jeans, but the dressier Virgo will want a jacket and spiffy shoes. Whatever it is, look like you put thought into it.
- That isn't to say you need to be trendy. No, no, no -- there are pieces that are timeless that Virgo will always appreciate. A good button-down shirt, a nice jacket -- even a nostalgic vintage tee will garner her approval. As long as you have some thought into your look, she'll notice.
Have good hygiene. In addition to rocking the right clothes, you gotta be clean!^{[9]
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Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.} Virgo needs a partner who's well-groomed to the max: that means clean ears, clean fingernails, clean noses, clean everything. And smelling good, too!^{[10]
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Get your life clean, too. If Virgo gets into your car and has to wade through wrappers to sit down, she'd rather walk. Walk back to her home, that is. She can't stand messes and won't tolerate yours. It's a total turn off for her to be with someone who isn't organized. She'll have no choice but to get out of bed and clean your room for you!^{[11]
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Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.} Definitely not romantic.
- So when you find her organizing your closet by thread count, don't be surprised. This is just her. You shouldn't go about changing your ways -- unless you're of the type that leaves pizza on the floor for later. Virgo doesn't need a partner that's as clean as she is, but she doesn't want a slob!
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Have it all. Virgo wants her lover to be everything -- smart, funny, cute, and loving. Though intelligent definitely takes center stage, ideally you'd be a powerhouse of awesome qualities. Be as well-balanced as possible to keep her finding more and more things about you that she loves.
- To keep her wanting more, talk to her about everything. Engage her mind. It could be about literally anything. If she wants to talk about 18th century Swiss art, great. If she wants to talk about the Kardashians, great. Show her that you can handle every side of her and her mind.

Part 3

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Being Compatible

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Help her worry less. Virgo's mind is running, running, running all the time. ALL THE TIME. She's constantly nit-picking at something, including herself. She needs someone who can help calm her down, to be her rock. If you can do this, there will be no way she can let you go.
- When you see her thinking, ask her what's going on. If she doesn't open up, don't leave. She may just be feeling the waters or uncomfortable asking for assistance. Let her know you're there if and when she needs you.
- When you get to know her well, odds are you'll have a grip on at least a few of the reasons she's worried. Try to make her plate less full by picking up the slack. Does she need to run errands? Clean the house? What can you help her with that gives her more time to relax?
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Deal with her perfectionism. Because her mind is running all the time, she notices every detail in the book. If something is a bit off, rest assured she'll take note. So when your shirt is a bit wrinkled in the back, she notices. When your spice cabinet isn't organized, she notices. It's not a dealbreaker by any means, but it is something she will remark on in her head.
- Things may take a bit longer with her because of this. Though Virgo will always be punctual, she probably knows by now to allot more time for specific endeavors. If she's the creative type, she could be devoted to her art for days until its just right. She's a modern-day Goldilocks!
Virgos are natural outdoorsy people. If you want to see her grin, get her outside. Take her on a picnic or go hiking. Rent a paddle boat and float on a lake. She's not the type to complain about the weather or need her hair to look perfect at every second. Get her outdoors and give her a memory to cherish forever!
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Know that she can be quite private. Virgo doesn't believe in kissing and telling and wearing her heart on her sleeve all the time. Sure, there will be times when she feels like opening up, but more often than not, assume she wants to stay reserved. Keep the PDAs to minimum -- you'll have time to be affectionate at home.
- Sometimes Virgo is quiet about her emotions, too. If you want to know how she's thinking or feeling, you may have to ask. It's not because she doesn't have feelings for you; it's just because she finds emotions to be an incredibly personal matter.
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Keep your word. Virgo needs to know she can depend on you.^{[12]
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Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} Because of this, be sure to keep your word. For example, if you say you'll call her at 3 PM, call her at 3 PM -- not 3:30 or 4:00. If you're dependable, she'll come to you without worry.
- So before you say you'll do anything, make sure you can actually do it. Don't make promises or commitments you can't keep. And if you absolutely must break your promise, have good intentions and explain your situation fully. Then, she'll appreciate your honesty and your attempt at accommodating her.
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Compromise. Virgos hate fighting and arguing. Virgo girls will let you do what you want, but will secretly be upset. This can lead to serious fractures in the foundation of the relationship. Compromise with her to keep both of you happy.^{[13]
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- Watch your temper. Gentle Virgo is turned off by unwarranted anger and rage. Listen to her when she tries to talk to you.^{[14]
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  Stina Garbis
  Psychic Astrologer
  
  Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.} Usually what they tell you is important, or she wouldn't bother telling you!
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Be faithful to her. If you come off as the type who kicks a woman out of bed in the morning, Virgo won't give you the time of day. When you get to know her, make it clear that you are honest, trustworthy, and understand how to treat people, women in particular. Virgo does not search the toolbox for prospective partners.^{[15]
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- Virgos are really sensitive and look for a steady partner that will be loyal and faithful. Virgos can be flirty, but once they're in a relationship they are completely committed. The man who gets a Virgo will be the only man in her life.

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How do you get a Virgo to like you?

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium
Jessica Lanyadoo is an astrologer with over 20 years of consulting experience. She is the author of Astrology for Real Relationships: Understanding You, Me, and How We All Get Along and is the host of the popular astrology and advice show, Ghost of a Podcast. Lanyadoo co-hosted TLC’s digital astrology show Stargazing and writes weekly and monthly horoscopes that help you heal.

Jessica Lanyadoo

Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Answer

To effectively engage with a Virgo, be consistent yet flexible. Virgo is inherently an introverted sign, meaning they tend to be really reflective and considerate. They will most likely take time to consider how they feel, what you're saying, and also what you're not saying. Make a point to be interested in what a Virgo has to say and be sure to listen to them.

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Never never never lie to a Virgo woman.^{[16]
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Research source} She is strong enough to accept whatever the truth may be and will get more hurt by dishonesty.

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Don't promise a Virgo lady anything if you can't keep promises.

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Be reliable and honest to build trust. Virgos worry and this will help put their minds at ease.

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Be persistent and compliment her constantly. She is her own worst critic so shower her with compliments you actually believe that are based on evidence. She scrutinizes even your compliments! But she also listens and remembers in detail so all those things that you notice about will pay dividends, bringing the two of you closer, especially as she can take time to open up.
Virgos also need alone time. Don't be so aggressive toward Virgos or you will seem desperate, turn off. Virgos need consistency. The Virgo woman wants and need to be in love because she have so much love to give; that's why she's 100% faithful in a relationship.

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Warnings

If you're mean, selfish, sloppy, ignorant, dishonest, rude, or lazy, a Virgo woman is NOT for you.

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Virgo, like Scorpio, can be EXTREMELY private, so you'll need patience when it comes to getting to know them.

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Virgo women can be very nasty when they're angry.^{[17]
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