How to Avoid Being Suspicious

Co-authored by Allison Broennimann, PhD

Last Updated: July 1, 2024

Trying to get away with something, but the act is all over your face? This happens to everyone, but with a little self-discipline, you can overcome that and get away with whatever you're trying to.

Steps

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If your overall plan fails, or you're being grilled by teachers, friends or parents, have a backup plan. This will make it much easier to get away with what you're trying to.^{[1]
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Breathe deeply. Relax your face, and do not be tense at all! This is similar to how you would prepare for an audition for something - be it a play, job, etc. You go through the same process, to see if you get past the first round. Practice in front of the mirror.^{[2]
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Stuttering and stumbling along in your speech indicates to others you're lying. And then the person will ask themselves "Well, why are you lying?!" and become suspicious. Have a reasonable response to anything you think that person will ask. Think of the backup phrase, that just in case they ask something that might give you away, you can use.^{[3]
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If things really start to get sticky, make sure you have a backup. Something to get you out of it. If you need an alarm on your phone that sounds similar to a ringtone set, do it. For example, you plan the conversation to last 15 minutes. Have an alarm set at, say, the 7-minute mark. This lets you have ample time for the conversation to go on, and it doesn't look planned, unless you have this long and awkward pause between the conversation when you're expecting the ring. Or, have a time-frame set, and have your friend call you.
If you're not in that type of situation, have a good reason set up for you to leave. Mention it in the beginning of the conversation. This is the foreshadowing of your 'hasty' departure.
Having one goal in mind keeps you focused and on tangent. This way your mind doesn't wander and get off track, keeping you in mind of what's going on in the conversation. Along with your larger objective/overall goal, have smaller objectives. For example, you want to go out with some friends and 'study'. Your overall goal is to have your parents let you go. Some smaller objectives during the conversation would be, maybe, 'gain their trust,' first. Then that brings us to tactics. Tactics will basically be "How will I get the smaller goals accomplished?" If you want your parents' trust, you'd maybe give them examples of how responsible you were in the past. Maybe tell them about how you were on curfew every night you went out. This whole step is crucial in not looking shady.^{[4]
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Keep your whole game plan in your head. Breathe, relax, and respond. Respond to what that person is saying. If they crack a joke, and you're busy sweating, however, will they not be suspicious?! Breathe, relax, respond, and think. Four things easy enough to do for a face-to-face.^{[5]
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Follow some of the steps above for phone/internet/letter etc. confrontations. Instead of focusing on breathing (unless you're talking on the phone), try focusing more on your speech. It'll be three times harder to convey what you're trying to get away with since your tone of voice won't be there.
- Remember that peers are helpful. If you can, have someone else read it that knows what's going down. Or, just pretend someone else is reading it. Reread, read again, and make sure that there is nothing shady about it!
- Send it promptly. If you send it too much earlier, it looks like you're jumping to the gun. Too late, what's keeping you so busy?! Do it how you think/know that person sees you. And between responses, don't be so quick! Having the conversation planned is good, but copying and pasting doesn't make for a believable happy-scotch-free-time.
- Know the field. Knowledge is power, and power is confidence. Play by that.

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How do you tell your mom that you spilled milk?

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Say you spilled milk by accident. Then get a paper towel and clean it up.

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Tips

Practice makes perfect... Grin, grin.

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If all else fails... Tell the truth. Sometimes, it's the only thing you can do.

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Have an ally.

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Warnings

Whatever you're avoiding will catch up with you eventually.

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Do not use this to evade the law.

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Don't cry unless you absolutely have to. And even then, it still can look suspicious. If you get caught crying only means weakness. Weakness = not so good if you're going for confident and collected.

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