This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
There are 16 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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If you are having suicidal thoughts or feelings, you should seek immediate assistance, preferably from a mental health professional. Whatever the source of your feelings, they can be dealt with appropriately, and things can get better. You're already taking the first step towards healing by reading this for help. The next step is to find a person to help you.
- If you are in the United States or Canada, you can call 911 for an emergency or reach a suicide hotline by calling or texting 988. [1] [2] [3]
- In many cities, dialing 211 will get you to someone you can talk to. 2-1-1 is a free and confidential service that helps people across North America find the local resources they need. They're here for you 24 hours a day, seven days a week.[4]
- The Crisis Text Line[5] 741741 is an alternative to phone hotlines and works 24/7.
- If you are in the United Kingdom, call 999 for emergency or 116 123 to reach a suicide hotline.[6]
- In other countries, take a look at Call Emergency Services to find appropriate numbers.
Steps
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Get professional help immediately. If you're thinking about suicide, seek immediate help from a mental healthcare professional. There are options available to you 24 hours per day, 7 days a week. Even if your instincts are telling you not to call so much attention to yourself, suicidal impulses are very serious, and you should never hesitate to reach out for help. You can call anonymously.
- If you are in the US, please call or text 988 the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or go to the nearest hospital Emergency Room.
- If you're in the UK, call Samaritans at 116 123 or PAPYRUS at 0800 068 41 41 (if you are a teen or a young adult).
- Other centers can be found on the International Association for Suicide Prevention website.
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Contact or go to a hospital. If you're using the helpline for support and still want to die, tell them you do need to go to the hospital. If you are not using a helpline, call the Emergency Services or a person you trust and tell them that you want to kill yourself. Ask them to help you get to a hospital, or go there directly yourself. Even better, get someone to drive you. It is hard to drive safely under these conditions.Advertisement
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Talk to someone you trust about your thoughts immediately. Although Step 1 is the right first step in any situation where you are thinking of killing yourself, it may not feel right for everyone. In this case, you should tell someone you trust that you're having suicidal thoughts immediately. If you are alone, call a friend, a family member, a neighbor, a doctor, chat to someone online, or do whatever you can to not be alone during this time. Talk with someone on the phone and have someone come over to stay with you so that you are not alone.
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Wait for help. If you have to wait for someone to come over or have to wait at the hospital, sit down and breathe slowly. Control your breathing by timing it, taking maybe twenty breaths a minute. Do anything else you can to distract yourself, knowing that help is on the way.
- Do not use drugs or alcohol during this time as it can impair your thinking. It can also lead to making your feelings worse, not better.[7]
- If you feel like you need to cause yourself some pain, hold an ice cube in your hand for 1 minute without letting go (this is a technique used in child-birthing classes to practice getting through the pain of pregnancy). The discomfort can be grounding without causing any harm.
- Listen to your favorite band's album. Watch a funny TV show. Even if these do not make you feel better, they may distract you from your thoughts while you wait for help to arrive.
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Seek help from a mental healthcare professional. People who attempt suicide are more likely to be suffering from a serious mental condition, such as depression, and can get help for it.[8] These steps can help you work to get to the root of why you considered suicide. If your suicidal feelings were brought on by a specific event, like the grief of being jilted, job loss, or becoming disabled, remember that this kind of situational depression can still be helped by treatment.
- Take any prescribed medications according to your doctor’s recommendation. Never stop taking medications without speaking to your doctor first.
- Attend all of your scheduled counseling sessions. If necessary, have someone reliable scheduled to take you every week to have an extra layer of accountability for going.
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Talk to a spiritual leader. If you are religious (or even perhaps if you are not) and have access to a spiritual leader, try talking to them. Those called to religious ministry are trained in helping people in crisis, including those in despair and suicidal. They can help you ease the pain by offering a new perspective and giving you some things to think about.
- Many hospitals in the United States have chaplains. Like chaplains in the armed forces, these individuals are typically people of faith, trained and experienced in working with people of many beliefs, and sometimes none at all. There is no charge for this service and it is worth looking into.
- A person of faith may not be for everyone especially if you are an atheist or have a philosophical or experiential issue with religion. You may only find a spiritual leader helpful if you are already involved in that particular spiritual or religious community. Although this article points out resources you may find helpful in this critical time, this may or may not be a good resource for you.
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Find a support group. There may be support groups, both online and in your community, where you can find comfort by talking to other people who have suicidal thoughts or who have attempted suicide in the past and set up a social network of understanding people to help you through difficult times.
- If you are in the United States, check out the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention's site for finding support groups online or in person. You can even find groups for your specific characteristics, such as a group for Teens.
- Check out the NHS site if you're in the UK, or the website for your country, to find options for yourself.[9]
- If there are no support groups in your area for suicide or depression, talk to a therapist or local hospital about support groups they might run or how to get group support. You can also visit a website that offers online video counseling.
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Remove any suicide facilitators. If you have recently had suicidal thoughts, remove anything that could help you end your life, including alcohol, drugs, sharp objects, rope, or anything else you have been thinking of using. If you have a handgun, make sure it is out of your possession as soon as possible. Though this may sound extreme, if you remove the easy means to end your own life, then you are much less likely to follow through.
- If, for some reason, you can't get rid of potentially harmful objects, freeze them in a container of water. By the time the ice has melted, you may not feel suicidal anymore. However, this method is not completely foolproof, so it is better to give your items to someone else if possible.
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Avoid being alone. If you are feeling suicidal, you should make sure that friends and family do not let you out of their sight. If you do not have anyone to watch over you, check yourself into an ER to make sure you are not alone. If you are part of a support group, lean on other members of your group for extra support from people who understand what you’re going through.
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Make a safety plan. If you are prone to suicidal thoughts, then it is important to have a safety plan for keeping yourself away from harm. You can create the plan yourself, or you can make it with a friend or family member. The list can include things like removing the means for suicide, immediately spending time with a friend or family member (or being around people in any way you can be), calling a certain person, or waiting 48 hours before considering your decision again. Just giving yourself time to slow down and think things over can be a big help.
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Address the causes of your suicidal thoughts. There are many reasons for being suicidal, from being in an unbearable home situation to having a mental illness.[10] If you have a mental condition, like depression, bipolar disorder, or schizophrenia, then it's important to see a doctor and to get treatment right away. The medication can help you feel more balanced and in control of your mind and body; though it may not "fix" everything, it can put you on the path to a happier life.
- If you have an unbearable home situation, find a way to get out as soon as you can; though you should avoid rash decisions that you might regret, if there's something that you know will put you in a better place, you should not put it off. Consider reaching out to friends, family members, a therapist, or your primary care doctor if you are not sure how to get started.
- Clinical psychologists, counselors, and social workers are all trained to help you get through difficult life situations. They may have helped others get through situations that may be similar to yours.
- These professionals are also helpful for long-term care to help you stay well once you are feeling better.
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Know common suicide risk factors. Knowing the factors that may put you at risk for suicidal thoughts can help you identify your risk and pinpoint the causes of your behavior. The most well-documented risk factors for suicide include experiencing or having any of the following:[11]
- Stressful life events
- Social isolation
- Psychiatric disorders, including problems with substance use
- Family history of psychiatric disorders, suicide, or abuse
- Chronic disease or an illness associated with suicide, such as a terminal illness
- An unsupportive family environment (e.g., due to sexuality or gender identity, highly dysfunctional family, mental illness in other family members, etc.)
- Previous suicide attempts
- Bullying
- History of conflict with a spouse, partner, or family member.
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Address any physical pain you are feeling. People who live with chronic pain often have suicidal thoughts. Sometimes the physical pain can actually be disguised as other things, such as emotional stress. Physical pain is a stress to the body, and sometimes this wears down your mental health. Addressing the root of the chronic pain can help you feel mentally healthier.
- Stress can cause flares in autoimmune diseases like fibromyalgia, and you might not even realize it is due to physical pain because the emotion from the stress is so unendurable.
- Migraines are another source of pain so extreme it can cause suicidal ideation.
- The answer to these medical situations is to visit a pain clinic and get pain medication if necessary maintenance pain medication. People with chronic pain unfortunately sometimes find the issue not managed well by medical doctors, and pain clinics are trained to focus on the pain in a way other medical professional may not.
- Check into an emergency room if you cannot get any help with it and the pain is driving you to the level of suicide. This is an emergency situation that needs medical intervention—it is not something you need to "man up to" or anything of the sort. This is not something you are supposed to endure alone!
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Avoid drugs and alcohol. Though drugs and alcohol have been used as a coping mechanism for pain for many years, if you are having suicidal thoughts, you should steer clear of them completely. These substances can heighten or cause depression and lead to impulsive behavior and thoughts that can make you more likely to decide to end your life.[12]
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Get some sleep. If you are having suicidal thoughts, you can't just "sleep it off," and you may feel insulted at this suggestion. However, there is a link between sleep disturbances and suicide.[13]
- Sleep deprivation can cloud your judgment, and just giving your body and mind some time to recover can lead to a brighter outlook.
- While sleep may not cure depression or suicidal thoughts, a lack of sleep can certainly worsen them.
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Give it time. Remember that thinking about suicide does not require action. Methods of suicide that are “quick and easy” are also more likely to be highly lethal, meaning there is no hope for a second chance once you go down this path.[14]
- Tell yourself you won't do anything for 24 hours; after 24 hours, give yourself 48 hours; after that, say you will give it a week. Of course, get help during this time. But sometimes realizing you can make it through a short period, day by day, will help you realize you can get through this.
- While you give yourself more time to figure things out, take other measures to move past the negative feelings you were having about ending your own life, such as reaching out to friends or health care professionals.
- Removing the sense of urgency you have about ending your own life can be half of the battle.
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Know that people do get through this. Many people who contemplate suicide are able to move past their feelings and improve their outlook on life when healthcare professionals give them coping mechanisms and other kinds of support.
- It is okay to have thoughts about suicide, but it is not okay to act on them; there are other ways to handle your pain.
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Realize that you can make fresh choices for change every day. Be bold and change the situations that are making you unhappy. Change schools. If all your friends are toxic, try to make new, true friends. Move out of wherever you are living. Leave an abusive relationship. Accept your parents' disapproval of your personal choices or lifestyle and work through the emotional issues these situations can cause.
- A therapist can help you to work through these emotional issues so that you they have less of an impact on your or help you to know whether you need to cut off negative influences in your life.
- Suicide is a drastic measure but there are other drastic measures that are not irreversible.
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Do not think of suicide as a revenge strategy. Sometimes suicidal feelings are related to anger and resentment you feel toward others. Don't turn that anger inward.[15]
- Hurting yourself won't help you really get back at anyone, and it is beyond not worth it. Instead, think about all you have to offer to the people you'll meet in the future.
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Continue caring for yourself even after the feelings subside. The fact of the matter is, if you have had suicidal thoughts at one point, you're more likely to experience these thoughts and feelings in the future. This means that, even if you're feeling better for a variety of reasons, you should always be vigilant and make sure to take care of yourself as much as you can. Get enough rest, get plenty of exercise,[16] work on maintaining meaningful relationships with people, and don't neglect the care of your own mind and body. Staying healthy and happy should always be your top priority.
- Even if you're feeling better, it's important to have a strong support system around you and to continue the treatment that helped you get better. If you don't have a support system, a therapist can help you build one so you feel like you have more people to turn to. However, recovery does not mean ignoring the pain you once felt, or may feel again.[17]
- It is important to be honest with yourself about your feelings and look for ways other than suicide to process these feelings.
- Develop a plan for what to do if suicidal feelings return. For example, Step 1 could be to call the Emergency Services, Step 2 could be to call a designated person from your support network, and so on. Think about what best helped get you through your suicidal thoughts in the past and put that into your plan so that you have concrete actions to take if find yourself in a crisis situation in the future.
Expert Q&A
Tips
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Remember that there is always someone out there who loves you even though you may not know it. Don't be afraid to talk to them!Thanks
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Confide in someone that you can trust.Thanks
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Focus on the little things that may prevent you from committing suicide. Do you have a pet you have to care for? A potted plant that will die if you don't water it? Looking forward to a new movie coming out next year? No matter how small it seems, if it gives you even a little bit to stay around for, cling to it.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- Sleep, nutrition, and exercise may not cure suicidal thoughts, but neglecting self-care often makes them worse. Do one nice thing for yourself today, even if it's just a warm bath or a nice meal. You deserve care.
- You're not alone. Many people have similar thoughts and feelings at times. Reach out to a loved one or call a hotline to talk it through. There are people who want to listen without judgment.
- I know everything seems hopeless right now, but your situation can improve in time. Take small actions each day, like going for a walk outside or calling a friend. Celebrate tiny wins.
- You have innate value and so much still to offer the world. When the tunnel seems darkest, hold onto the fact that you don't know what positive turns tomorrow may bring. Have faith.
- Remove anything you could use to harm yourself, then distract yourself with an activity like watching a comedy special. Create space between the impulse and action — it may pass.
- When you are feeling tempted to end your life, try to ride out the intense emotions without acting right away. This can help break the urgency, so you can consider other options.
References
- ↑ https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-recognizing-signs-of-suicide
- ↑ https://www.toronto.ca/community-people/public-safety-alerts/who-to-call-in-an-emergency/
- ↑ https://988.ca
- ↑ https://www.211.org
- ↑ http://www.crisistextline.org
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx
- ↑ https://www.get.gg/suicidal.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/mental-health/suicide-self-harm/are-you-feeling-suicidal
- ↑ https://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Suicide/Pages/Getting-help.aspx
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/basics/causes/con-20033954
- ↑ https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/suicide/basics/risk-factors/con-20033954
- ↑ https://www.nber.org/digest/aug02/w8810.html
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2656315/
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/2008/07/06/magazine/06suicide-t.html?
- ↑ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/suicidal-feelings/about-suicidal-feelings/
- ↑ https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/19114382
- ↑ https://www.businessweek.com/articles/2013-06-06/self-help-suicides-and-the-danger-of-positive-thinking
About This Article
If you’re feeling like you might hurt yourself, call emergency services or a suicide hotline right away. In the US this number is 800-784-2433 and in the UK it’s 166-123. If you feel unable to call for help, talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, neighbor, or even an online chat. Remember, you aren’t alone. There are people who understand what you’re going through and want to help you! While you wait for help, sit down and take some slow, deep breaths to calm down. You can distract yourself by listening to your favorite band or watching TV. If you feel like you need to cause yourself some pain, hold an ice cube in your hand for 1 minute without letting go. Keep in mind that many people who contemplate suicide are able to get help and improve their outlook on life. It may not seem like it now, but you can be one of them. For more advice, like how to tell if you’re at risk for suicidal thoughts, read more from our Mental Health, co-author.
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