How to Stay Away from Porn

How to stop watching porn (and avoid pornography going forward)

Co-authored by Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP and Eric McClure

Last Updated: December 11, 2024 Fact Checked

Viewing pornography—while not wrong on its own—can become an unhealthy habit if it interferes with other things in your life. So, whether you want to simply cut back to make time for other things or you think you may have a potential addiction, we’re here to help. To get a professional perspective on the best way to cut back (or quit entirely), we asked multiple licensed therapists and a certified recovery coach for their best advice.

How to Stay Away from Pornography

Get rid of any porn you own or have saved.
Use a filter to block pornographic sites.
Only use the internet for work or school.
Focus your time on other hobbies and projects.
If you cannot stop on your own, seek professional help.

1

Evaluate your viewing habits.

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Do you have a compulsive problem or do you just want to take a break? It's important to really understand the scope of the problem that you're having. There isn’t anything wrong with viewing pornography as an adult, but if you’re addicted to porn or struggling to stop watching, perhaps you need help. At the same time, if you’re just tired of the habit, there’s nothing wrong with tackling this on your own. As psychotherapist Kelli Miller suggests, the scope of the problem should guide the direction of how you approach this.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- As recovery coach Rachel Kove says, “The first step to change anything is awareness. If they feel like it's a compulsion like they have to watch the pornography, then I would suggest taking a break and understanding your relationship to the pornography.”^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Rachel Kove
  Certified Recovery Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 27 April 2022.}
- Learn to recognize the signs of addiction. If you believe that porn is interfering with your daily life, it may be a larger problem. Miller says feelings of guilt, lying to hide your usage, dissatisfaction with real-life sex, and anger when porn is not acceptable are all potential signs of a larger problem.^{[3]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
  Psychotherapist
  
  Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}

2

Replace the bad habit with a good one.

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For a lot of people, the impulse to watch porn is simply a habit. One of the best ways to overcome a bad habit is to replace it with a good habit; you need to give yourself something else to do when you would normally be looking at porn. What that is will depend on who you are, but you can try:^{[4]
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Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public

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- Exercising. When you reach the time of day when you would normally start looking at porn, go out and get some exercise instead. Go for a jog around your block or do some jumping jacks. You can even do some more involved but fun exercises, like going swimming at your local pool.
- Cleaning your home. You'll probably know the basic things to clean (dishes, laundry, etc) but don't forget about all the cleaning that a lot of people forget about, like cleaning around the toilet and scrubbing the bathtub.
- Learn to cook. Porn can flood your brain with feel-good chemicals. You know what else floods the brain with feel-good chemicals? Delicious food. Learn to become a master chef!
- Start making art. If you’ve got any kind of creative energy in your soul, this is the perfect time to explore it.

3

Occupy your time.

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Get so busy that you don’t have time to think about porn. Pornography is easy to fall back on if you've got a lot of free time. By keeping your day booked solid, you'll easily be able to keep yourself away from porn because you'll have too much other stuff to do! Try taking on a new hobby (editing on wikiHow is a good one!), teach yourself a new skill (learning a language is useful and fun), or finding another way to occupy your time (spending more time with your friends and family is always good).^{[5]
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Trustworthy Source

Harvard Medical School
Harvard Medical School's Educational Site for the Public

Go to source}
- For example, you can begin teaching yourself a new language online. Learning a new language will help fill up your time and keep you busy (and away from pornography) but it will also help you for the rest of your life too!
- If you want to try something away from the computer so that you're not tempted, try martial arts.

4

Get help if you need it.

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Look for guidance and support. Miller says that if you're really having trouble getting your habit under control, consider seeking guidance from a counselor, spiritual advisor, or community of people who are going through the same thing. Support can come in a number of forms, so look for the one that works best for you.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Kelli Miller, LCSW, MSW
Psychotherapist

Expert Interview. 11 June 2020.}
- If you are religious and want help, go to the local place of worship for whatever religion you believe in and ask to talk to a priest, imam, or rabbi. You might need to set up an appointment, but someone should be available to talk to you.
- You can also join online communities of people who are trying to beat the same addiction. They can offer support, empathy, and maybe even some techniques that you haven't tried to help keep you accountable.^{[7]
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Find answers and a clear plan of action. "I had a lot of questions going in, but this article answered most of them. Now I get exactly what steps I need to take to deal with my porn habit. Having a clear game plan tailored to my situation is so helpful." - Sebabonkhe M.

Bolster willpower through spiritual connections. "I realized my porn viewing was negatively impacting my spirituality. The tips here on seeking religious guidance gave me the motivation I needed to resist temptation. Maintaining a spiritual routine keeps my mind focused on what really matters." - Zachary G.

Embrace the struggle — you can win. "As a teen, I've really struggled with porn addiction. This encouraged me to keep fighting no matter what. I know if I stay persistent, I can beat this. Having hope helps me get through tough days. Small wins add up over time." - Gregory P.

Find strength through prayer and Scripture. "I'm so ashamed about looking at porn and trying so hard to stop. Praying and reading uplifting Bible verses every night really helps clean out my mind. Building spiritual strength gives me the power to resist temptation. Faith keeps me going when I feel weak." - Brady A.

We want to hear from you! Advice from our readers makes our articles better. If you have a story you’d like to share, tell us here.

5

List the benefits of cutting pornography.

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Knowing the upside of quitting should help you stay motivated. For some people, keeping in mind all the reasons why they should stop is enough to curb the bad behavior. With significant enough motivation, if you can find it, you should be able to control your urges. However, this will work best if you also take into account the reasons you watch porn to begin with. Generally, it serves to fill in for some unmet need. Clinical therapist Rebecca Tenzer says that it’s key to find out what porn is filling for you, and you can better think of reasons and ways to quit.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor

Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.}
- For some people, it's easier to be motivated knowing the negative impact that pornography has on yourself. Maybe the shame and guilt is a good thing because it’ll keep you focused on your goal!
- Think about the impact on your family. For some people, the effect that their porn habits have on their wives, girlfriends, or the fear of what their children might see is enough to deter them and help them control their habits.

6

Clean up your computer.

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Permanently delete any raunchy material on your phone or PC. Start avoiding pornography by cleaning it up at its source. Start by deleting any pornography saved onto the computer itself.^{[9]
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Research source} After that, there are a few other things you can do, depending on the problem that you're having:
- Clear your browser. Clear your browser's cache and history. If your computer remembers you visiting porn sites (even if it was by accident), it may think you want more porn and display more advertisements for pornography and unsafe sites.
- Check for viruses. If you notice that you get porn pop-ups even when you're visiting trusted sites or maybe even as soon as you open your internet browser, you might have a computer virus.
- Be careful about what search terms you use and websites you visit. Some phrases are frequently attached to pornography, so try to keep it clean.
- Turn on Google Safe Search to protect yourself from unsafe searches and try to only visit sites that you absolutely trust.

7

Block pornography on your computer and phone.

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Set up an adult content filter to stop yourself from viewing porn. There are a number of ways in which you can set up a censor that will keep you and others safe from pornography on the internet. You can block all but a few sites, only sites that are marked for adults, or you can just block certain sites.^{[10]
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- You might try an app like StayFocused. StayFocused is a browser add-on for Chrome browsers that allows you to control what websites you can access and how much time you can spend on those sites. It's great for policing your own behavior, if you're the one struggling with porn.
- Set up OpenDNS to block all objectionable content across all devices in your home. You can set up the OpenDNS software, which is available for free, to block all objectionable content in your home.

8

Consume more wholesome media and avoid triggers.

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Avoiding salacious and sexual material should minimize porn consumption. Certain media will be more likely to drive your libido up, which is when it’ll be hardest to avoid porn. Movies are easy to choose because of their ratings, but TV might be harder to control. Limit the channels you receive and make sure to do your research on a show before deciding if it's right for you. As Tenzer suggests, minimizing your exposure to triggers will make it easier to control your behavior.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor

Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.}
- YouTube has a content filter that can help you protect you from adult content. Scroll to the bottom of any YouTube page and you'll see a button that says “Safety: Off”. Click on that and YouTube will be instantly safer.

9

Spend your free time with other people.

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It’s a lot easier to stumble back into the habit of watching porn if you’re alone all day. Spend recreational time in a space with your family or friends. Not only will you feel better about yourself when you’re engaging in meaningful relationships, but you’ll have a much easier time forgetting porn even exists.^{[12]
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Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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10

Use the internet in public.

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If you’re struggling to avoid porn when online, only go online in public. If you seem to stumble into the urge to watch porn when you’re online for a long period of time, make it impossible to watch porn when you’re online! Only use your computer in public where you won’t be able to masturbate. Do your homework (or work-work) at a coffee shop or friend’s house. Avoid scrolling on your phone at home if you’re alone.^{[13]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

Go to source}
- Move any computers in your home into family spaces and keep an open-door policy for any private rooms where computers will be.

11

Create positive reinforcements for yourself.

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Pick something you really want as a reward and use it to help stop. Whether you're trying to keep yourself away from pornography or you're trying to help your family, using positive will be much more effective at creating the behaviors you want to see.^{[14]
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Simply Psychology
Popular site for evidence-based psychology information

Go to source}
- For example, you might reward yourself with extra spending money for every week where you don’t look at porn.
- You can also try something smaller. You might give yourself a piece of candy every day that you don't view pornography, for example.

12

Open up to your partner sexually.

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If porn is replacing the lack of vibrancy in your sex life, talk to your partner. It shouldn't be the first thing you try, but finding another way to get a satisfying sexual release might help you kick your habit. Kove says that “speaking with someone about it and being vulnerable about it can change everything. I know sex can be a very difficult thing to talk about, but there is so much relief that comes from being open with your partner.”^{[15]
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Expert Source

Rachel Kove
Certified Recovery Coach

Expert Interview. 27 April 2022.}
- Tenzer says that there’s nothing wrong with trying to spice up your sex life with your partner. You'll probably have to make some real effort and force yourself to be open about what you want, but it will be worth it.^{[16]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
  Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor
  
  Expert Interview. 19 August 2020.}

13

Show yourself empathy and love.

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Sexuality is extremely normal and perfectly human. You aren’t doing anything wrong by looking at porn, so don’t get angry with yourself. In fact, pornography gets more views every month than Netflix, Amazon, Twitter, and TikTok combined, so it’s not like you’re unique in your viewing habits.^{[17]
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Research source} In other words, be kind to yourself.

14

Get therapy or counseling if you can’t stop.

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There’s no shame in reaching out to a professional for help. As Kove says, “Talk about it with a trusted professional. Find a safe and trusted individual, a counselor or therapist or life coach and just start getting radically honest about what’s going on.”^{[18]
X
Expert Source

Rachel Kove
Certified Recovery Coach

Expert Interview. 27 April 2022.}
- Talk to your family doctor about your problem. Even if they can't help you themselves, they should be able to refer you to someone who can help.
- You can also find specialized resources, like Sex Addicts Anonymous. Groups like this one deal specifically with this problem and they will know what you're going through and how to help you.
- Remember your parents. What would their reaction when they knew about your bad habit?

Expert Q&A

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Question

How bad is watching porn?

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP
Clinical Therapist
Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers.

Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP

Clinical Therapist

Expert Answer

Contrary to popular belief, watching pornography is actually a healthy habit as long as it is used within reason and does not overtake other aspects of life.

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I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone or get help. What should I do?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Consider joining an online community where you can remain anonymous to gain support and guidance. No Fap and Sexaholics Anonymous are great resources.

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Question

Why is porn a bad thing?

Paul Chernyak, LPC
Licensed Professional Counselor
Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

Paul Chernyak, LPC

Licensed Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Porn isn't inherently bad, but watching too much porn can be a serious problem. Porn usually serves an unfulfilled need and has been found to have many other negative consequences such as lowering intimacy in real life relationships.

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Additional Resources

Additional Resources
Organization	Phone Number
Sexual Addicts Anonymous	1-800-477-8191
Sexaholics Anonymous	1-866-424-8777
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous	1-800-977-HEAL

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