How to Be Peaceful

Co-authored by Nicolette Tura, MA

Last Updated: September 12, 2024 Approved

People inherently strive towards a state of peacefulness, one free of stress and anxiety. Being peaceful is both an outward and an inward state of being and acting. If you are trying to be more peaceful, you can begin by finding peace within yourself. Further your peaceful nature by bringing it into your interactions with others and making your environment peaceful.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Finding Internal Peace

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1
Practice what brings you peace. Finding internal peace begins with identifying what makes you feel calm.^{[1]
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Research source} Consider activities you enjoy that leave you with a sense of peace and calm.^{[2]
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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.} Make time in your schedule to practice calming and centering activities on a regular basis.^{[3]
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Research source} Some peaceful activities may include:
- Reading a book.
- Enjoying quiet time or silence.
- Engaging in creative arts.
- Listening to calming sounds such as ocean waves, weather sounds, or sounds of animals.
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Meditate. A very successful way to calm your mind and find internal peace is to practice meditation.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.} Meditation will help you train your mind to be peaceful and more clear.^{[5]
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Research source} When you meditate, make sure you are in a quiet place free of distractions, such as in a room by yourself. Sit in a position that is comfortable for you; either in a chair or on the floor.^{[6]
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Research source} Try and keep your back straight for better breathing.
- Close your eyes and turn your attention to your breathing.^{[7]
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  Research source} Notice the sensation of the breath as it comes in and goes out. Don't try to control or change your breath, just focus on it.
- Thoughts may surface with a strong temptation to follow the train of thought as it comes up. If you notice your mind wandering, gently refocus on your breath. The more you practice this the easier it will be and the fewer distractions will occur.
- Try setting an intention. You can meditate on any intention that resonates most with you, such as gratitude, the beauty of nature, the love of your family, and so on. Anything that makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside when you think about it would make a good intention. Having something to focus on can be helpful for beginners.
- Try additional guided meditations, guided imagery, loving kindness meditations, or even attending meditation classes.^{[8]
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3
Manage the stress in your life. Stress and anxiety will interfere with your sense of calm and peace. Counteract it by addressing anything that is causing you stress in your life. If financial management or money issues are causing you stress, make a plan to deal with them right away. Take control of your stress management in order to be more peaceful in your everyday life. Choose a stress management technique and plan that work for you and makes the most sense in your life. Try the following coping skills.^{[9]
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- For 10 to 15 minutes a day, write about things that are bothering you and how you are feeling about them.
- Find a way to let your feelings out such as talking, laughing, or crying.
- Spend some time around animals such as extra time around your pets, or going to a petting zoo.
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Do physical activity. Certain types of exercises or sports have been shown to provide a sense of peace in the person who practices it.^{[10]
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Trustworthy Source

Harvard Medical School
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Go to source} Try engaging in a physical activity that allows you to release your stress, and find relaxation afterwards. Regular physical activity helps promote balance in your life and peacefulness of your mind and mood.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.}
- Exercises like running have proven to be almost meditative in the sense of peace they provide.^{[12]
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- Physical activities like tennis, batting cages, or golfing at a driving range, will allow you to work out extra energy, stress, or aggression.
- More meditative exercises like pilates and yoga will help you focus your mind and have a more peaceful relationship between your mind and body.
5
Practice self reflection. In a society where it is easy to be labeled and judged, it is hard not to judge yourself based on what others think. Living this way will only cause you stress and a decreased sense of peace and happiness. Instead, practice self-reflection.^{[13]
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Research source} Determine what you think and how you feel about yourself. Use your self-reflection to provide yourself with the sense of peace that comes from being the person you want to be.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.}
- Pay special attention to the internal judgments that you are inflicting on yourself. Work towards replacing the criticism with more peaceful thoughts.
6
Allow and accept change. Change is often difficult to accept and can be very stressful. It is common to become comfortable and be resistant to change. The difficulty here is that change is constantly occurring, and that by being resistant to it, you will just be causing yourself unnecessary stress. To be more peaceful begin to accept and allow changes to occur without resisting them in the following ways:^{[15]
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- Accept change by realizing you and your life are always growing and changing. Accept change as a learning process to a better life.
- Let go of fear. A great deal of the time we are resistant to change due to a fear of the unknown. Letting go of that fear allows you to accept change.
- Recognize that resistance causes more turbulence in our lives and uses more energy than acceptance.^{[16]
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7
Discontinue bad habits. If there is something you identify as a “bad habit” it is going to cause you stress and interfere with your peace. Breaking a bad habit can be extremely difficult, but can also lead you to the path of improvement of a peaceful and balanced person.^{[17]
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- Do not discontinue multiple bad habits at once. This sets you up for failure for trying too much at once. Try working on one bad habit at a time.
- Put it in writing. Write down what bad habit you are quitting and when you are quitting it by. This holds you accountable and helps solidify your commitment.^{[18]
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- Switch out your bad habit for another activity. For example, if you are a smoker, try chewing gum instead.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Developing Peaceful Relationships

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1
Accept people for who they are. Wishing others would change or attempting to change others will cause you stress. It can easily make it difficult to remain peaceful in a relationship.^{[19]
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Research source} Instead of attempting to change or control others, accept and love them (including their faults) for a more peaceful relationship.^{[20]
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- Try writing a list of what you appreciate or are grateful for with the individuals in your life.
- Remind yourself that everyone has flaws. No one is perfect.
2
Tell the truth. Holding in your thoughts and feelings in a relationship will not help you be peaceful. Part of being peaceful is being at peace with yourself. Honesty is a vital component to being at peace with yourself. So, be honest, but kind, when communicating what you really think and feel.^{[21]
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- Having an open and honest dialogue in your relationships with others helps the relationship be more peaceful as well. It sets up a tone which communicates that if there are problems, they can be discussed and brought out into the open. You can state, “I want to you to be comfortable talking to me about anything.”
- Make sure you are communicating any frustrations or negative feelings in order to address them as quickly as possible. Try saying, “Our relationship is important to me. I don't want to bottle anything up and risk having it affect our relationship.”
- Have conversations just to check-in with loved ones. It will illustrate that you are interested in your loved ones well-being, and will make them more comfortable talking with you. You can begin with a simple, “How are you really doing?”
3
Speak in a calm and relaxing voice. What you say to convey peacefulness is important, but equally important is how you say it.^{[22]
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Research source} The way you communicate with others is complex and conveys a great deal about your emotions and state of mind. Being peaceful in relationships with others includes speaking in a peaceful way.
- Speak slowly and thoughtfully.
- Notice the volume of your voice. If you are loud, try quieting your voice.
- Try to use a softer tone when you speak instead of a more stressful or sharp tone.
- Pay attention to the words that you use. Consider what they are conveying about your outlook.
4
Let go of difficult or negative people. As you are trying to accept others for who they are, you may come across some who make that difficult. People who are consistently negative can only interrupt your sense of peace. It may be best to let them go or remove them from your life. If you feel like you cannot let go of people completely, limit the contact you have with them.^{[23]
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- While you want to be accepting of people and their imperfections, this doesn't mean you have to accept everything another person does. You are allowed to set boundaries as to what you will and will not accept in your life. For instance, you can't stop a boyfriend from doing drugs, but you can set a boundary that if he does them around you, you are leaving the relationship.
- Separate yourself from violent or aggressive people. A peaceful person does not engage in violence against herself or others.^{[24]
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- Let go of anyone you feel disturbs your peacefulness.
5
Parent peacefully. Parenting peacefully can be difficult. It is hard not to get caught up in the stress now and then. Start small, by changing one thing you do into something more peaceful. Once you feel you have accomplished that, begin a new one. Also try to notice the part you play and how you can help create the change you are looking for.^{[25]
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- Try to remove or avoid critical or blaming statements.
- Instead of focusing on what your child may have done wrong, focus on what he did well or praise him for trying. Instead of saying "Look at the mess you made! You never pick up your toys!" try, "Wow, you are playful and have lots of energy today! What is your favorite toy right now? Let's do something fun with that toy, and put the rest away to play with later."
- Be the peace you wish to see in your child. Become peaceful yourself before expecting your child to be peaceful.^{[26]
  X
  Research source} Children need to be taught how to behave, including being peaceful. Lead by example and demonstrate the kind of peacefulness you would like to see in your child and in your relationship with him.
6
Keep a journal. Journaling is a great practice to help you be peaceful.^{[27]
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Expert Source

Nicolette Tura, MA
Empowerment Coach

Expert Interview. 23 January 2020.} Creating a journal will help focus your peaceful intentions in the areas of your life that need more attention. It will also help you organize your thoughts and plans.^{[28]
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Research source} Journaling allows you a safe space to vent your frustration and stress so that you can be peaceful with others.
- Try prompts like the following: "Today being peaceful was difficult because..." "Today being peaceful was rewarding because..." or "I am going to try to be more peaceful by..."
- You might also keep a gratitude journal, where each day you write down something that you're grateful for. This can help you develop a more positive mindset.^{[29]
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  Expert Source
  
  Dawn Smith-Camacho
  Career & Life Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 13 May 2020.}

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Creating a Peaceful Environment

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Declutter. Minimize toys and physical clutter in your environment. Being peaceful includes having a peaceful environment as well as a peaceful mindset. Help make your environment peaceful by ridding your home of clutter. Toss or donate things you do not use or toys your children no longer play with.^{[30]
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Research source} Make sure the items that you own all have a dedicated place. Having less clutter in your home will increase your sense of peace.
2
Keep your work life and home life separate. Being peaceful at home, in relationships, and within yourself are all important aspects of a peaceful life. Keeping peaceful in all aspects may include a peaceful work environment as well keeping your work and home life separate. Try the following.
- Having less clutter in your work space will provide the same result as less clutter in your home. Be more peaceful at work by making sure your work space is clean and clear.^{[31]
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- Try and leave any work stress you experience during the day at work. One way to accomplish this is to make sure you start and stop work on time.^{[32]
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  Research source} Having firm boundaries will help prevent your work life from causing stress in your personal life.
- Maintain professionalism at work and limit the personal information you divulge at work.
3
Use soothing tones or textures in your decorating. Being peaceful in your home environment, may not be as difficult as you think. Some small changes to your paint colors or decorating can produce big calming and peaceful effects. In order to increase the peaceful feel of your home try the following.
- Use soothing tones like shades of light blue or beige in paint, furniture or decor.
- Have a small vase or plant in every room to help create a calming feel and a connection to nature.
- Spend the extra money on high-end sheets so that you can end your day with soothing peaceful sleep.
4
Fill your home with soothing scents and sounds. Being peaceful can be a full-sensory experience for you. Changing the scents or sounds within your home can help increase the relaxation and calm for you and your family.
- Soothing sounds can include nature sounds as well as certain types of music like classical music.
- Soothing scents can include lavender, rosemary, jasmine, Ylang Ylang, sweet orange, and bergamot.^{[33]
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Expert Q&A

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Question

How do I get inner happiness?

Dawn Smith-Camacho
Career & Life Coach
Dawn Smith-Camacho is the Owner of Whole Life Solutions, a business in which Dawn provides professional speaking on effective decision-making and navigating major changes for entrepreneurs and employees. She also supports individual coaching clients by identifying their core values, managing time, prioritizing, and honing in on their ideal path. Her clients include Vistage, UNICEF, the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), the Wedding Industry Professionals Association (WIPA), NACE, and Oracle.

Dawn Smith-Camacho

Career & Life Coach

Expert Answer

Distance yourself from people who are overly judgmental or critical of the way you choose to live your life. Their voice can begin to drown out your own, and you can begin to feel bad about yourself or question your path in life. You also have to be able to identify the things in your life that you can't change. Once you have a good awareness of the things in your life that are yours to control, you can put your energy into improving those things, instead of anxiously focusing on things you don't have any control over.

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Question

What is peaceful living?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

Peaceful living is equated with contentment meaning that no matter what the circumstances, a person can be content and without strife.

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Question

How do I find happiness within?

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS
Professional Counselor
Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.

Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS

Professional Counselor

Expert Answer

The first step is accepting yourself for who you are and the second is acting in accordance with your values and strengths.

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Being in peace not only releases your stress but also keeps your mind fresh.

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You may also want to start celebrating International Day of Peace.

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