How to Be Taken Seriously

Co-authored by Christy Irvine, PhD

Last Updated: April 29, 2024 Fact Checked

Are people blowing off what you are saying and not really taking you seriously? Maybe you joke around a bit too much or made a mistake that others won’t let you live down. No matter the reason, you need others’ respect to be successful. Learn to be taken seriously by being assertive, commanding respect, and avoiding the mistakes you made in the past.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being Assertive

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This shows them that you're serious about what you're talking about and that you are engaged in the conversation. Not only will it let them know that you are focused on them, but it will allow you to connect with them. By looking at their eyes, you can read their facial expressions and see how they are reacting to what you are saying, and you can adjust the conversation as necessary.^{[1]
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Speak clearly. Say what you need to say with a steady voice. Don't mumble or speak too quickly or slowly. Don’t look to others for approval; simply express your beliefs and ideas from the heart.^{[2]
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- Try the "slow talk" technique. Slow down your speech by adding an extra second to your words. Articulate your words, pronouncing each syllable.
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When speaking to others, hold your head high and keep your legs and arms uncrossed. This body language commands respect and shows that you are open and confident.
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Speak only when you have something valuable to say. Avoid adding random jokes or unrelated bits of information to conversations. Should you have a good idea or thought, express it. Adding unnecessary or repetitive information will make folks less likely to listen to you.^{[3]
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- For instance, if a group is discussing global warming and you have recently watched a documentary about it, chime in with what you know. However, if you don’t know about the topic, stay silent and listen instead.
If you're arguing with someone, stay calm and speak in an even tone. Don't get all worked up because this will make you look like you can't think clearly.^{[4]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach

Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} Take deep breaths in and out to steady yourself. If you feel that you are going to cry or yell, walk away for a moment to take a bathroom break.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Christy Irvine, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.}
6
Take responsibility. Actions speak louder than words, so you may have lost credibility with others because your actions have not been consistent. Accept responsibility for your behavior instead of blaming others, and seek more responsibility to demonstrate how serious you are.^{[6]
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Expert Source

Christy Irvine, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.} Take on more work without expectation of reward. This will show others that you are becoming more mature.^{[7]
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- Take action to show that you're serious. For example, if others don't see you as financially responsible, then create an excel spreadsheet and start keeping track of your finances.
- At work, ask your boss if you can help out with their new project and come to them with research or ideas on how to improve it. Try to find ways to do things better, more efficiently, or find problems that no one else has noticed.
- At home, take on more chores to help your family.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Commanding Respect

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1
Arrive early. Show that you mean business by arriving five to ten minutes early for any meeting or appointment you might have.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Tami Claytor
Etiquette Coach

Expert Interview. 29 September 2020.} This shows that you respect your time and the time of others.
- This applies to professional settings. It is typically okay to be a few minutes late to parties and other social events.
2
Read the news. Stay up on the current events in your city, state, country and the world. Don’t just know about the latest pop culture, know about the politics that are affecting you. This will give you serious topics to discuss with others.^{[9]
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- Download news apps to your phone and take fifteen minutes daily to read articles every morning. You can even sign up for news alerts.
3
Prepare for your assignments or projects. Should you be assigned a task at work or school, work diligently on it. Do your research so you can do it to the best of you ability. If there is a presentation portion, practice beforehand until you have mastered it. This will show that you take your work seriously.
- For instance, if you have a presentation coming up, prepare a powerpoint. Use a simplistic format and include visuals or charts. Check for typos and practice presenting in the mirror.
4
Dress for success. Take care of your appearance by showering and keeping your hair and clothes presentable. This will keep you looking sharp, neat and clean. You don't have to look ready for a board meeting (unless you're actually going to a board meeting), but you should always look nice.^{[10]
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- Iron your clothes the night before so you don’t have to rush in the mornings.
- Use your clothes to tell people what you want them to think about you.
5
Set up a good reputation. If you want to be taken seriously, don't do things that make people think less of you. Avoid public intoxication, drugs, crime, and other poor decisions. Instead, involve yourself in positive activities like volunteering.
- Be mindful of what you post on social media, too. Avoid posts that glorify drugs, violence or other negative behaviors.
6
Follow through on your promises. If you tell someone that you will do something, you should follow through on that. If they see you as someone that just makes empty promises, they will be very unlikely to take you seriously.
- Perhaps you promised a coworker that you would pick them up the following morning for work. Be sure to set a reminder on your phone and wake up early so you can keep the promise.
7
Tell the truth. If you are lying often, you can’t really expect people to believe you. They aren't going to trust you to tell them the right information. Always be truthful with others, even when it’s difficult.^{[11]
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Expert Source

Christy Irvine, PhD
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

Expert Interview. 9 April 2021.} They will begin to take you seriously if they know you will be honest with them. People value honesty and genuineness in others.^{[12]
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- For example, if you don't know something, say, "I'm not familiar with that, but I'll look it up."
8
Speak up when you disagree. If someone is being rude to others or suggest something that is wrong, speak up for what you believe. Do so in a respectful and kind manner. This will show to others that you have integrity and that you’re willing to fight for what’s right.^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source

Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

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- For instance, your boss might suggest paying the new female coworker less than the male staff because of her gender. Let him know that this is not okay and that she deserves equal pay to do equal work.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Avoiding Bad Behaviors

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1
Avoid speaking negatively about others. Even when your friends or coworkers are gossiping about others, avoid doing so. Change the subject or walk away. This will show that you take your morals seriously.^{[14]
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- If your coworkers start bashing your boss, say “Hey, did y’all see last night’s episode of Game of Thrones? It was awesome.”
At work especially, avoid sharing intimate details about your personal life. Avoid talk about sex, in particular. Share that you have a partner, but avoid discussing the fights between you two. Focus instead on discussing work or more lighthearted topics like TV shows or music.
3
Don't try to make a joke out of everything. When it's appropriate, go ahead and have a little fun. But if you are always joking around about everything, how do you expect to be taken seriously? Know when the situation is right for a joke, but stay serious most of the time in professional settings.
- While you can use jokes as a self-defense mechanism, doing it too often can make you appear fake.
4
Avoid hyperbole. Hyperbole is when you exaggerate for dramatic effect. An example would be describing something as "enormous", when it was really just large. If you use hyperbole too often, people will start to think that you're exaggerating all the time and they won't take your words at face value.
- Try to be as honest as possible. For instance, if you got minimal sleep the night before, say that you didn’t get much sleep instead of saying that you didn’t sleep at all.
When at work, avoid texting or using your phone for personal calls. People will begin to think that you don’t do any work. Instead, focus on the task at hand and take mini breaks as necessary.^{[15]
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Sometimes the folks taken the least seriously are those who seem a little too invested in their physical appearance. Avoid applying makeup or fixing your hair in public; try to do so in the restroom instead. Avoid looking into every mirror you pass or taking selfies often.

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Say what you mean and mean what you say.

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Put yourself in someone else's shoes and think about how you would view yourself.

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Try using “I…” statements if you disagree with someone and they'll be more likely to listen to what you have to say. For example, “I don't feel that I'm respected enough. I feel hurt, and I would appreciate it if my feelings were taken into consideration."

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