This article was co-authored by Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC and by wikiHow staff writer, Dev Murphy, MA. Moshe Ratson is the Executive Director of spiral2grow Marriage & Family Therapy, a coaching and therapy clinic in New York City. Moshe is an International Coach Federation accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). He received his MS in Marriage and Family Therapy from Iona College. Moshe is a clinical member of the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), and a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF).
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Being a good listener can enrich your understanding, expand your capacity for empathy, and improve your communication skills. It takes practice to be a good listener, but it’s a valuable skill to have—especially when disagreements arise! If you’d like to improve your listening skills, this article is for you: we’ve assembled a list of psychology-backed tips to help you be more open-minded and know what to say in conversations, as well as how to read and effectively employ body language. Read on to get started!
Things You Should Know
- Be a good listener by holding eye contact with the speaker and doing your best to limit distractions, such as your phone or TV.
- Show them you’re paying attention by nodding or saying “Mmhmm” occasionally—but avoid interrupting them unless you need to ask a clarifying question.
- Avoid pressuring them to talk or asking rapid-fire questions, which could make them feel like they’re being interrogated. Let them go at their own pace.
Steps
Listening Tips
Expert Q&A
Video
Reader Videos
Tips
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If possible, postpone an important conversation if you are not in the right headspace to listen. It is better to not talk if you are not ready.Thanks
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-older-dad/201409/active-listening-is-key-great-interactions
- ↑ https://www.science.org/content/article/video-how-long-can-you-make-eye-contact-things-start-get-uncomfortable
- ↑ https://today.duke.edu/2019/06/how-practice-active-listening
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do
- ↑ https://today.duke.edu/2019/06/how-practice-active-listening
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/conversational-intelligence/201402/navigational-listening
- ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
- ↑ https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do
- ↑ https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1052562917748696
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27151897/
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/resolution-not-conflict/201111/the-art-listening-how-open-are-your-ears
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/happy-healthy-relationships/202108/listening-understand-instead-respond
- ↑ Moshe Ratson, MFT, PCC. Marriage & Family Therapist. Expert Interview. 7 August 2019.
About This Article
To be a good listener, try to listen more than you're talking so you're not dominating the conversation. However, make sure the other person knows you're still listening by making eye contact with them and staying focused on what they're saying. You can also nod at appropriate times and occasionally interject with things like "Yea, that makes sense" or "I see" to show that you're paying attention. Also, make sure you're remembering what the other person is saying since it will look like you weren't if you can't recall anything they said. To learn how to show someone you're listening with your body language, scroll down!
Reader Success Stories
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"Sprinkled with realism and, most of all, positivity. I'm going to be proactive. If just half the world did this, it'd be an amazing difference. I will start and work on being an active listener. "..." more