How to Be a Good Neighbour

Co-authored by Saul Jaeger, MS

Last Updated: April 30, 2024 Approved

Getting along well with your neighbors makes your community a happier and safer place to live. The key to being a good neighbor is clear and consistent communication. Introduce yourself to your neighbors and then stay in contact over time. Try to be courteous by keeping your noise levels low and your yard well-maintained. If you want to go above and beyond, you could even participate in a neighborhood association or watch.

Things You Should Know

Always be respectful and considerate of your neighbors. Keep your yard clean, follow any noise regulations, and put your trash out at the right time.
Make an effort to get to know your neighbors. Introduce yourself if you've never met before.
Deal with any issues face to face in a calm, respectful way.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Being Respectful and Considerate

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1
Maintain and clean any shared spaces. If you live in a duplex, townhome, or apartment, you might end up sharing responsibility for a hallway, entrance, or yard with your neighbors. Do your part to keep these spaces as nice as possible by removing or carefully storing your personal items, such as bikes or grills. Pick up any trash that you see, too.^{[1]
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- For example, to maintain a lawn space, talk with your neighbor about rotating mowing duties each week.
2
Care for your own yard and garden. To avoid unsightly, overgrown grass, stick to a lawn maintenance schedule that includes regular mows throughout the year. In the fall, make sure to collect and dispose of your leaves. Trim back any trees or bushes and clean up any flowerbeds.
- If you can’t do this maintenance on your own, consider hiring a professional lawn service.
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3
Put your trash out at the right time and day. To keep your neighbors happy and your home clean, take out your trash according to the local schedule. Also, use the correct trash containers and follow any restrictions regarding chemicals or oversized items. If trash day passes and you notice that a particular item has not been picked up, call waste services for your area to ask why it was left behind.
- Most waste companies have very particular policies regarding what types of trash they will pick up and how it must be set out. For example, it may not be enough to simply place large branches by the curb of your house. You might need to cut and tie them into bundles.
- Following the local trash rules also helps to cut down on the presence of pests and vermin, such as mice.
4
Keep your pets quiet and under control. Closely follow all of your local laws regarding pet ownership. Have your animals fully vaccinated, licensed, and on a leash when in your front yard or neighborhood. If you have dogs, enroll them in training courses to curb outside barking and noisiness. If they persist in barking, then bring them inside.^{[2]
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- Let your neighbors know that they can come talk with you if your pets are ever bothering them. For example, you might say, “If you ever hear my dog barking too much in the evenings, just let me know.”
- If you are walking in your neighborhood, practice common courtesy by picking up your pet’s poop, too.
5
Follow your area’s noise regulations. Go to your city’s webpage and look up the rules regarding noise. You’ll find that certain noises, such as loud home repairs, are restricted to particular hours of the day. Keep this in mind as you go about your daily life and try to avoid being disruptive, especially during early morning or evening hours.^{[3]
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- If you live in an apartment complex, the leasing company will usually provide you with a list of community rules, which usually includes a statement about noise.
- Go ahead and lower your noise level if you even think that you are being loud.
- Use what you know about your neighbors to determine what is appropriate, too. For example, if you know that the person next door works nights, then take that into account and adjust your noise levels accordingly.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Getting to Know Your Neighbors

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1
Introduce yourself. If you’ve recently moved in, go over to your neighbors and say “hello.” If you’ve lived in an area for a while, then take the initiative and reach out to new arrivals yourself. As part of welcoming someone to the area, feel free to offer them a small moving in gift.
- For a more informal approach, say hi to your neighbors when they (or you) are outside walking their dog or working on their lawn.
- When you first meet your neighbor you might say, “Hi! I’m Fred Thompson. I live 2 doors down from you and just wanted to come over and welcome you to the neighborhood.”
- You can also give you neighbor any friendly local tips, such as what time the garbage or mail carrier stops by.
- A welcoming gift can be anything from a friendly card to a basket filled with local foods or produce.
2
Do your neighbors a favor when possible. If you see your neighbor struggling with a package, offer to help them. If you notice that they do not have a mower, offer to let them use yours for a bit. If you are helpful to your neighbors, don’t feel ashamed when you need to reach out for assistance as well.^{[4]
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- For example, if your neighbor is going out of town, they might ask you to watch over their home. Then, when you take a trip, you can ask them to return the favor.
3
Attend and host neighborhood events and associations. Invite a few of your neighbors over for a nice dinner or barbeque. Find out if your home makes you eligible to participate in a local community organization or watch group. If not, talk to your neighbors and create your own. These are great ways to get to know your neighbors whether you’ve been in the area for days or years.
- For example, a community association could work together to put on a local street festival or even small dinners.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Communicating Openly with Your Neighbors

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1
Stay calm when talking with your neighbor. If your neighbor comes to you with a concern or problem, it’s important to respond calmly and rationally. If you start to get frustrated, take a few deep breaths before answering. You can also ask to postpone the conversation until you have a bit of time to think.
- For example, to give yourself a few days to think everything over, you might say, “I understand where you are coming from, but I need to consider how to fix it on my end. Can we talk about this over the weekend again?”
2
Deal with any problems face to face. If you have any issue that involves your neighbor, it’s important to act fast. Go to them directly and tell them what is going on. Ask for their help in finding a solution that will work for both of you. Giving your neighbor a chance to come up with a solution is better than immediately reaching out to local authorities.^{[5]
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- This doesn’t necessarily apply if you feel as if the safety of you, your family, or the neighborhood is at stake. In those situations, you might want to reach out to local officials for assistance.
- Avoid gossiping about any issues with your neighbor to other neighbors or people in the community. This only creates additional problems.
3
Give your neighbors notice before parties. If you plan on having a large group of people come over, it never hurts to give your neighbors a heads up. This lets them determine if they’ll need to park elsewhere or move their cars for the night. It also alerts them that lots of ‘new’ people will be in the neighborhood and that it might get loud.
- The same goes for any other large, loud gatherings, such as ongoing construction.

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What can I do to keep my neighborhood safe?

Saul Jaeger, MS
Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department
Saul Jaeger is a Police Officer and Captain of the Mountain View, California Police Department (MVPD). Saul has over 17 years of experience as a patrol officer, field training officer, traffic officer, detective, hostage negotiator, and as the traffic unit’s sergeant and Public Information Officer for the MVPD. At the MVPD, in addition to commanding the Field Operations Division, Saul has also led the Communications Center (dispatch) and the Crisis Negotiation Team. He earned an MS in Emergency Services Management from the California State University, Long Beach in 2008 and a BS in Administration of Justice from the University of Phoenix in 2006. He also earned a Corporate Innovation LEAD Certificate from the Stanford University Graduate School of Business in 2018.

Saul Jaeger, MS

Police Captain, Mountain View Police Department

Expert Answer

Know your neighbors. Go introduce yourself to them. Exchange numbers with them so you can communicate if anything suspicious is going on. The more you know people in your neighborhood, the safer you'll be.

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What things should I do or say if I am a kid moving into a new neighborhood?

Community Answer

If you see other kids, try to talk to them and become friends with them. Be yourself and maybe they'll go to you when they see you. Tell them that you're new in the area, where you've moved from and what school you'll be going to soon. Ask them for their recommendations of good things to do in the area.

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Is it unneighborly to borrow another neighbor's toilet paper or trash bags and never replace them?

Community Answer

Yes. It is polite to return what is borrowed, or to at least return a favor in kind.

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Tips

After a special event, such as the birth of a baby, it never hurts to give your neighbors a small, thoughtful gift.^{[6]
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Mind your own business about personal matters. Do not gossip.

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Warnings

No matter how much you try to establish a friendship with certain neighbors, it might not always happen. In these scenarios, try not to take it personally and instead focus on living next to one another peacefully.

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