How to Become More Feminine

Co-authored by Kalee Hewlett

Last Updated: August 19, 2024 References

Femininity means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Traditional (and outdated) gender roles emphasize "girly" features and dependence on men. However, becoming more feminine is more about your attitude, confidence, and personal style than conforming to someone else's ideas about your life. Getting in touch with your "feminine side" is more about looking inward for inspiration than outward for directions. No matter who you are, everyone can enjoy getting more in touch with their essential, incredible feminine side.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Dressing in Feminine Styles

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Dress and skirts are almost universal fashion signals for the feminine - wearing one defines you as a girl and throwing your jeans out is a femininity statement you make to yourself. Modern fashion has made it possible to find a dress or skirt for any occasion, from sleek black cocktail dresses to light, flowery summer skirts. The best way to pick a dress is a personal choice: do you feel comfortable, beautiful, and feminine? If so, chances are good other people will see similar traits.
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Highlight your curves and body shape. The softness of your natural curves is your feminine gift. Accentuate and embrace your female body to bring out the feminist aesthetic. This often means wearing clothes that highlight your chest and waist. Yet the easiest way to highlight your curves is to wear clothes that fit.^{[1]
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Kalee Hewlett
Fashion Stylist

Expert Interview. 23 April 2019.} You can try to wear somewhat tight clothing, or just enough to accentuate your beautiful figure. A woman's figure is markedly different from a man's, and calling(even a small amount) of attention to it will naturally look more feminine.
- If you feel comfortable and feminine in an outfit, then it makes you more feminine.
- You do not have to show skin to appear feminine.
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Try out traditionally feminine patterns and styles. There are some fashions that, despite being worn by both men and women, are predominantly feminine. In general, delicate or softer fabrics and eye-catching patterns are considered feminine. Some things to incorporate into your wardrobe include:
- Lace, silk, or velvet
- Floral patterns
- Polka dots
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Embrace color. Again, though this is not strictly necessary, feminine looks typically rely on bright colors to bring out the vibrancy and fun of the feminine world.^{[3]
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Research source} Try bolder color ideas, or spice up a simple outfit with a splash of colorful shoes or makeup.
- Accessories, like scarves, bags, and head wear are a great place to make your outfit more feminine.
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Wear a little tasteful jewelry. Typically worn by women, jewelry has become socially acceptable in many corners of the world for everyone. Having a little bling can make you feel confident, attractive, and worthwhile, and it will ramp up your feminine image. In general, jewelry with stones (diamonds, ruby, etc., fake or real) is considered more feminine than plain rings or chains.
- Wear pinky or thumb rings.
- Put on a nice necklace.
- Get your ears pierced.^{[4]
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No one has to see what you're wearing underneath for it to make a difference. Remember that being more feminine starts from within, so if you feel it, others will feel it too. Try slipping on something a little risqué and see if it makes you feel more feminine as a result.
Ultimately, if you don't act feminine, your looks will only carry you so far. Feel at home in your own skin, love who you are, and enjoy life and you will radiate femininity whenever you want to. If you feel feminine, chances are good other people will see it in you too.
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Pay attention to the societal and cultural image of femininity. Though there is no one right way to "be feminine," there are fashion cues that signal femininity. Looking feminine, however, does not mean you must submit to traditional gender roles. Rather, it is a stylistic choice that accentuates many classic examples of femininity such as grace, dignity, flirtiness, and sexuality.^{[5]
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- Anyone can bring feminine style into their wardrobe regardless of gender or sexual identity.
- Think about "classic" examples of feminine beauty, such as Halle Berry, Marilyn Monroe, and Nicole Kidman. What makes them feminine to you?
- Anyone -- male, female, transgender, etc. -- can look, dress, and be feminine. Feminine is not the same as "female," because it is a social, not biological, concept.^{[6]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Appearing Feminine

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Spray on your favorite perfume before you leave the house in the mornings. One or two spritzes are usually enough. Scent is one of the most powerful senses for attraction, and smelling great has long been a staple of the feminine image.
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Wear simple makeup. Makeup is one of the few fashion provinces that are almost exclusively feminine. Men rarely wear make-up, but can successfully pull off eyeshadows and liners for a more feminine look, as many rock stars like Morrissey or Marilyn Manson show regularly.
- Paint your nails, experiment with new makeup, or emulate celebrities whose look you admire. (Make up isn't the main way to appear "feminine", natural beauty is #1. With confidence you will glow). :)
- You do not need make-up to appear more feminine, but if you love the art behind it, why not go for it.
- A bold red lipstick is very feminine.^{[7]
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Walk like a woman. The "feminine walk" is meant to accentuate feminine figures and show off curves. Think of pulling yourself forward by your lower half of the body, not "falling" forward and letting your feet catch up.^{[8]
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Research source} The first step is to have good posture (spine straight, shoulders over hips, chin parallel to the ground), but there are a few extra steps that can help make your walk extra-feminine.
- Keep your shoulders back, elevating your chest.
- Swing your hips slightly towards of the foot taking a step (ie. swing left when stepping with your left foot).
- Walk slowly, as if you're never in a rush.
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Grow your hair out long. This is not a necessity for femininity, as many gorgeous women have illustrated. But long hair is traditionally feminine, so consider growing it out past your shoulders. Take care of you hair with regular brushing and conditioning once a day.
- Many traditional hair styles, from ponytails to braids, require longer hair.
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Think about keeping your body hairless. Another holdover from more antiquated notions of femininity, many women nonetheless see hairlessness as a sign of the feminine. Remove any and all body hair that is visible to you, whether on your legs, under your armpits, or in your nose.
- Pluck your eyebrows to avoid bushiness or a unibrow, or just keep them a bit naturally tidy.
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Genuinely smile. Smiling promotes happiness and shows off your radiant, accessible personality. Appearing more feminine is about being open, helpful, and caring.
- Smiling is shown to increase your own happiness as well, so make it a part of many interactions you have.(Yes, sometimes you don't want to smile and that's completely fine considering we all have awful days. Don't force yourself)^{[9]
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- Help yourself by becoming a happier, healthier person and make it easy for people to like you by finding things that make you smile or laugh more often.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Acting More Feminine

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1
Spend time with women. What do you value in other women? What makes them "feminine" to you? Spending time with women and people you feel are feminine will help you access your own femininity. While everyone is different, most people define "feminine" by the following traits:
- In-tune with emotions, both your own and others.
- Caring and compassionate.
- Sensitive.
- Nurturing.
- Soft, beautiful, sometimes delicate, etc.^{[10]
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Have confidence in your charm and ability. No matter what your definition of femininity, you've got to own it. You have a unique, incredible personality that you should never be afraid to hide. Being more feminine is not about learning to act a part or conform to a role. It is about being happy with who you are and accentuating the qualities you enjoy.
- Remind yourself that no one has a monopoly on being feminine -- you get to decide what it means as much as anyone else.
- Femininity is about being free to be yourself, love your body and life, and love others.^{[11]
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Be compassionate. Just like you shouldn't expect other people to judge you on your femininity, you shouldn't judge others. Historically, femininity is rooted in ideas of compassion, wisdom, and nurturing. This is why some people view acting feminine as weak or vulnerable, as typical feminine behavior isn't rooted in selfishness. Yet the ability to be flexible and caring is important for everyone and helps foster community and togetherness that can solve the hardest of problems.
- Be respectful and polite, even when wronged. Taking the high road is not only dignified, it often diffuses problems before they occur.
- Avoid unnecessary conflict whenever possible by distancing yourself from petty fights.
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Think about other people, not just yourself. Having emotional empathy is one of the keys to being more feminine that all people, men and women alike, can embrace. Empathy is when you try and put yourself in someone's shoes to see how they feel. This allows you to better manage conflicts, help friends in need, and make long-lasting friendships.^{[12]
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- Ask yourself: "What is their side of the story?" before getting angry.
- Think of problems in terms of other people, not just yourself.
- Recognize that rarely is something one person's fault-- there are a lot of factors in their life that affect them, just like in yours.
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Be receptive to the world around you, good and bad. Many people still see traditionally feminine words like "submissive," or "receptive" as bad. But they are incredibly powerful ideas that can help you be more at peace with life, open yourself up to change, and accept love into your heart. While masculine ideas often clash with this, preferring to be in-charge or commanding, the truth is that no one completely controls their life. Learning to accept the things you cannot change with grace and humility is crucial to accessing your feminine side, and it will make you happier as a result.
- Recognizing that you cannot change everything does not mean "giving up." It means finding the things you can change and focusing on them.
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Recognize that being more feminine has nothing to do with success or accomplishment. Being feminine does not mean that you cannot be smart, powerful, or assertive. All people, male and female, exist somewhere between femininity and masculinity-- no one is all one or the other. That is a good thing, since both sides are important for a successful, well-balanced life.
- Taking pride in your appearance does not mean you are unfit for a job or career.
- Having "girly" preferences, such as liking the color pink, does not mean you cannot be taken seriously.
- Never ditch your dreams, goals, or projects because they don't conform to someone's notions of femininity.^{[13]
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Expert Q&A

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What shoes should I wear to look more feminine?

Kalee Hewlett
Image Consultant
Kalee Hewlett is a Celebrity Stylist & Confidence Coach with almost two decades of experience helping clients build confidence and ‘dress for success.' She works with her clients to transform their sense of self 'from the inside out’ by merging her expertise in image consulting with Neuro-Linguistic Programming. Kalee’s work is rooted in science, style, and the understanding that ‘identity is destiny'. She uses her own methodology and Style To Success Strategy to create positive identity shifts. Kalee is a fashion TV host and appears regularly on QVC UK sharing her fashion expertise. She also was appointed as the head judge and host of Fashion One Network’s 6-part TV show 'Design Genius.’

Kalee Hewlett

Image Consultant

Expert Answer

Definitely high heels! They always give a sexy, feminine finish to any look.

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Practice your posture while sitting and standing.

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Warnings

Never alter your image of yourself because someone tells you that you should. If you feel feminine, you are feminine.

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