How to Choose a Spouse According to the Bible

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Co-authored by Lia Huynh, LMFT

Last Updated: June 18, 2024 Approved

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For those of you who would like to choose a spouse based on the Bible, this article is for you:

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Find out what kind of person the Bible says is a good person.
- (Psalm 73:28) . . ."But as for me, the drawing near to God is good for me. In the Sovereign Lord Jehovah I have placed my refuge, To declare all your works." They would have a close relationship with God.
- Psalm 37:27 . . ."Turn away from what is bad and do what is good, And so reside to time indefinite." They would not be involved in anything that is displeasing in God's eyes.
- (Psalm 119:97) . . ."How I do love your law! All day long it is my concern." They read the Bible with understanding and they stick closely to all of the principles of the Bible.
- (1 Corinthians 15:33) . . ."Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits." They would encourage you to do what God says all the time and will be willing to correct a friend at times if needed.
- (1 John 3:18) . . ."Little children, let us love, neither in word nor with the tongue, but in deed and truth." They show Godly love to all with out reserve.
- (James 1:23-25) . . ."23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word, and not a doer, this one is like a man looking at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself, and off he goes and immediately forgets what sort of man he is. 25 But he who peers into the perfect law that belongs to freedom and who persists in [it], this [man], because he has become, not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, will be happy in his doing [it]." They use the bible like a mirror to assess themselves regularly. If adjustment is needed they use scriptures to adjust their thinking and based on them they change what is needed to be changed.
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. ."But let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."
Since this varies from one individual to another, the Scriptures do not stipulate an age. They do show, however, that it is better to wait until we are “past the bloom of youth,” when strong sexual impulses can distort good judgment. (1 Corinthians 7:36) . . ."But if anyone thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virginity, if that is past the bloom of youth, and this is the way it should take place, let him do what he wants; he does not sin. Let them marry."
'marry only in the Lord.' (1 Corinthians 7:39) . . ."A wife" or husband "is bound during all the time her husband" or his wife "is alive. But if her husband" or his wife "should fall asleep [in death], she" or he "is free to be married to whom she" or he "wants, only in [the] Lord."

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Is it okay to tell her that I want to get to know her better if I know I am not ready for marriage yet?

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I believe it is appropriate to learn more about a person if you believe you may want to marry them someday. Just be upfront and honest that you aren't ready for marriage yet, and she should understand.

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If he is a good person but not grounded in the knowledge of Christ, is it good to go with such a person?

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If you are a Christian, you shouldn't marry a non-believer.

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How do I truly build a foundation of trust in modern times?

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The same as before - Be honest and open with your spouse. For more suggestions, check out the tips in this article about building trust on wikiHow.

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Tips

Do not base your decision on looks alone.(Proverbs 31:30) . . ."Charm may be false, and prettiness may be vain; [but] the woman" or man "that fears Jehovah is the one that procures praise for herself."

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Your choice of a husband or wife should not be based on physical looks but of good understanding and beautiful countenance. ISam25:3. Good understanding the bible says giveth favor Prov.13:15. He that findeth a wife finds a good thing. Prov18:22. Favour is better than labour. Go for a wife with insight of God way and His word.

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Young men and women especially need to be careful that physical attraction and strong impulses do not distort their judgment when they select a mate. Indeed, a relationship founded solely on such factors can quickly erode into disdain or even hatred. (2 Samuel 13:15) . . ."And Am′non began hating her with a very great hatred, because the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her, so that Am′non said to her: 'Get up, go away!' "

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Warnings

Problems may arise because there are two distinct personalities, and viewpoints will vary. Because of human imperfection, it may be difficult to fulfill our Scriptural role in the marriage arrangement.

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(1 Corinthians 7:28) . . ."But even if you did marry, you would commit no sin. And if a virgin married, such one would commit no sin. However, those who do will have tribulation in their flesh. But I am sparing YOU."

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