How to Fake Diarrhea at School

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Last Updated: March 27, 2023

Have you ever wanted a new excuse on getting out of class? You may have tried the "Desert" Cough, the stomach bug, and the classic fake vomit. Well, why not try faking diarrhea?

Steps

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This will help your act the next day. However, if it is normal for you to have a full illness overnight, then go ahead.
You could also try mixing instant chocolate pudding with water and put it in a ketchup bottle. Salsa also works in a pinch; but don't use too much, otherwise your parents will know you are up to something!

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If your teacher says no, explain you have bad stomach problems, and you might puke (or have an accident) if you don't go to the bathroom. However, saying you may have an accident may cause you to be the laughingstock of the classroom!
Don't act too sickly, though, as you may be spotted or immediately rushed to a hospital by your parents.
Then get out the brown sauce or pudding and squeeze it. When the bottle is nearly empty, it will sound like you're farting. This works especially well, so use a ketchup bottle.
After a while, let out a sigh of relief, and you can also say "That's better" but that could be embarrassing, and flush the toilet twice to emphasize that it was pretty bad in there.
Your parents should come to pick you up.

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Tips

If doing the pudding method, make sure to use a generous amount of water so it's runny.

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Try going to the bathroom a few times late at night and/or early morning.

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Bring some air freshener. To avoid suspicion, carry this always. When you're done squeezing the bottle, spray some air freshener to cover up the smell.

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Warnings

Be prepared to get in trouble if someone finds out you were faking.

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If somebody hears you squeezing the bottle, you might be humiliated for at least a few days. Make sure you squeeze the bottle when nobody else is around if possible.

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