This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS. Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor based in Wisconsin. She specializes in addictions, mental health problems, and trauma recovery. She has worked as a counselor in both community health settings and private practice. She also works as a writer and researcher, with education, experience, and compassion for people informing her research and writing subjects. She received Bachelor’s degrees in Communications and Psychology from the University of Wisconsin, Green Bay. She also earned an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University.
There are 9 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Getting over any breakup is tough, but you might find it particularly challenging if you still love your ex. Don’t worry—we’re here to help you get through this. Keep reading for plenty of tips on how to get distance from your ex, stay busy, and make peace with everything that’s happened. Here are 16 ideas to help you start healing.
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- Unfollow your ex on social media so you don't see what they're up to. This prevents painful reminders and the temptation to connect. You can refollow later once feelings have faded.
- Establish a "no contact" rule for a while, to help yourself heal. Ask friends to help you resist the urge to reach out. Minimal contact is understandable if you have kids together.
- When nostalgic thoughts about your ex pop up, purposefully replace them with positive wishes, like "I hope they find happiness." Don't be hard on yourself for still caring.
- Write an unsent letter explaining why the relationship ended from your point of view. Identifying your role can provide closure and important lessons for the future.
- Shake up your routine with new hobbies, clubs, or activities. Meeting new people and revisiting old passions helps shift your focus to self-care.
References
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-get-over-someone
- ↑ https://globalnews.ca/news/3527490/5-reasons-why-you-still-cant-get-over-your-ex/
- ↑ https://www.glamour.com/story/how-to-get-over-someone
- ↑ https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/finally-get-ex-even-feels-impossible-hesaid/
- ↑ https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/being-single-and-dating/moving-when-youre-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://verilymag.com/2017/10/how-to-deal-with-a-break-up-getting-over-a-long-term-relationship-breakup
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/grief/dealing-with-a-breakup-or-divorce.htm
- ↑ https://www.relate.org.uk/relationship-help/help-relationships/being-single-and-dating/moving-when-youre-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-forward/201508/5-ways-move-when-you-still-love-your-ex
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/romantically-attached/201609/why-we-need-closure-broken-relationships
- ↑ https://www.hercampus.com/love/relationships/what-do-when-you-are-still-love-your-ex
About This Article
Getting over any breakup is hard, but it can be especially challenging if you’re still in love with your ex. The first and most important step in moving forward is limiting contact with the person so you can get the space you need to get over them. If you don’t share children or pets, then try blocking their phone number and email account. You’ll also want to unfollow them on social media so you can focus on yourself for a while. This will also help you avoid the temptation to reach out to them. Bumping into your ex at the local bar or cafe can also set you back in your healing, so try to avoid places that they frequent for a while. In addition to limiting contact, give yourself the room to grieve. Try shouting, crying, or any other form of expression that feels right. As you move through these feelings, be patient with yourself. With time, your feelings will lessen and you’ll feel more hopeful about the future. To learn how to date someone new, keep reading!
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"It helps knowing that what I am feeling is real and I'm not going crazy. It's a normal process which I am only just starting, and cannot yet see the finish line. But hopefully I will get there."..." more