How to Have More Self Confidence and Love Yourself

Co-authored by Kim Chronister, PsyD

Last Updated: May 27, 2024 Approved

Are you a girl and currently experiencing severe low self-esteem issues? Do you doubt yourself regularly? This article will explain how you can boost your self-esteem, confidence, and, as it says in the title, love yourself. This article will teach certain habits/practices to help you.

Remember that you're special in your own way. Never let anyone tell you differently.
There is always someone out there for you, you just have to find them.
Don't listen to hurtful comments. All that will do is bring you down further.

Steps

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1
Carry yourself well. If you walk with your head up high and shoulders back, you feel great about yourself and others think you look great. How you feel about yourself is visible to others whether you think it is or not.
- Holding your head up, keeping your shoulders back, and offering a full or half smile conveys openness and confidence, and helps others react more positively to you.
It will make you feel better.^{[1]
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Introduce yourself to new people and be yourself. It gives confidence when you make real friends, as they will appreciate you for who you are.^{[2]
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- Visualize yourself approaching someone and experience what it's like to walk towards them while you're smiling and feeling positively about approaching them. Doing this can help you make yourself a little more open and extroverted.
it’s a confidence booster when you know people like you.
You don't even have to truly believe that you are amazing. If you act like you do, it will start to come naturally!
You are unique and people love that.
Create fun and creative ways to have FUN! Do things you know will make you laugh.
Never let someone tell you anything rude or disrespectful; they have no right. Just remember some people may only be kidding. You don't want to seem crazy by going off on them. Just politely tell them you don't appreciate their humor and laugh it off.^{[3]
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Don't judge people. Life is so much more interesting when you surround yourself with different people.
It will make you have more confidence when you do something you love and you're good at it. People will notice your talents!^{[4]
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Martha Stewart, Home, Garden, & Lifestyle Expert

It's fulfilling to learn new skills and take on projects. "Doing projects really gives people self-confidence. Nothing is better than taking the pie out of the oven. What it does for you personally, and for your family's idea of you, is something you can't buy."
Facing your fears and doing something that intimidates you will really boost your confidence.^{[5]
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Heels are major confidence builder, especially when you can strut your stuff.^{[6]
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You can wear sweats and get away with it.
It's amazing the confidence you feel when you smell good.
This is the most important step of the whole thing!

Expert Q&A

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Question

What is the key to loving yourself?

Julia Yacoob, PhD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Julia Yacoob is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist practicing in New York City. She specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for adults coping with a variety of symptoms and life stressors. Dr. Yacoob earned an MS and Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Rutgers University, and pursued specialized training at Weill Cornell Medical College, New York Presbyterian Hospital, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, the Institute for Behavior Therapy, and Bellevue Hospital Cancer Center. Dr. Yacoob is a member of the American Psychological Association, Women’s Mental Health Consortium, NYC Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Association, and Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies.

Julia Yacoob, PhD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

The key is being gentle and patient! It's always easier to assess how you would speak to somebody else, and use that perspective to acknowledge how critical you are of yourself. Slowly but surely chip away at that negative inner voice—focus on understanding why that voice is present and how to recreate your relationship to yourself and accept yourself as you are.

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Question

How do you ask another person for help if you have low self-esteem?

Kim Chronister, PsyD
Clinical Psychologist
Dr. Kim Chronister is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist. She specializes in helping people struggling with substance abuse, relationship problems, eating disorders, and personality disorders. Dr. Chronister has contributed to and appeared on Access Hollywood, Investigation Discovery, and NBC News. She is the author of “Peak Mindset” and “FitMentality.” She holds an MA in Clinical Psychology and a Doctor of Psychology (PsyD) from Alliant International University.

Kim Chronister, PsyD

Clinical Psychologist

Expert Answer

Remember that asking another person for help can be a compliment to them in many cases! Be sure to tell them that you know they're busy, that you respect them, and that you're grateful for their help. As long as they know that you're respectful of their time, they will likely be open to your request.

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Why am I finding hard to love myself?

Community Answer

You'd know the answer to that question better than anyone. That said, low self-esteem is a struggle common to many. It's hard to value ourselves when we're keenly aware of the ways we fail and when we are surrounded by others who have looks or talents we wish we had. But God created you because there was no one else in the world quite like you. Believing that He made you for a purpose and that He loves you regardless of how you feel about yourself is a big step in the right direction.

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Tips

Being healthy helps your mood; maybe you're not confident because you're sad.

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Try complementing your favorite feature.

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Don't let what people say or think about you make you feel bad because they are either very mean, or jealous, both of which are not your fault. It's their own problem, not yours, so don't worry about them.

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