How to Have a Positive Attitude (for Teens)

Co-authored by Evanne Torrecillas

Last Updated: May 5, 2023 Approved

Have you ever looked at people who just seem to radiate happiness and good energy and wished that you could be like them? Maybe you wondered "Why do they have so many friends? Why are they so popular? What is it about them that makes them so... well, great?" What these people have is called "a positive attitude". Having a positive attitude will help you to get what you want out of life, while having fun and being able to laugh.

1

Don't react, act!

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Be proactive and think about things ahead of time so you end up with happy moments instead of just waiting around for bad ones.^{[1]
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Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

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2

Believe that each moment is perfect, regardless of what happens later.

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Things happen. Just let it go.^{[2]
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3

Be grateful.

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There's nothing wrong with having dreams or goals, but in the meantime, enjoy what you have... even though it may not be much.^{[3]
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Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living

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4

Seize every opportunity you have instead of regretting it later.

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When you have the chance to improve yourself or try something new, don't sit around at home and wonder and think about the pros and cons. Just jump in with two feet and do it! New experiences are a great way to help you enjoy your life.^{[4]
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5

Keep your sense of humor.

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Laughing creates such a positive energy within you and those who can hear you.^{[5]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals

Go to source} Don't take your life too seriously... be willing to admit that yes, some moments are funny.^{[6]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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6

Believe that you are in charge of your destiny.

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If you have determination and will power, you can do almost anything. Success is whatever you determine it to be and you can be successful. Even when you do nothing, you are still creating your life so why not make it something to remember?^{[7]
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Greater Good Magazine
Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living

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7

Keep a journal.

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At the end of the day, write down the best thing that happened to you. Don't go into the details of your fight with your best friend, don't start writing about how your mom is completely rude and unfair. Write something good that happened or something that you realized or a cool poem or quote that you found.
- Think of one funny thing that happened that day as well if you can. Feel free to write it in your journal, next to the one good thing that happened. This will help with your sense of humor.

8

Do something special for yourself and for another person each day.

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This will help you feel better about yourself and give you something to look forward to when you get out of bed in the morning.

9

Try getting a camera.

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Take pictures of anything you want. It doesn't have to be of just your friends. Special places and favorite plants or flowers are good things to start with too.

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Question

How do you keep a positive attitude after a break-up?

Evanne Torrecillas
School Counselor
Evanne Torrecillas is a School Counselor with over four years of experience in education. She specializes in working as a mental health advocate with middle school students and their caretakers. Evanne holds a BA in Political Science from The University of California, Berkeley and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in School Counseling from California State University, Sacramento.

Evanne Torrecillas

School Counselor

Expert Answer

You just got dumped, and that is terrible. But that's not your whole life! You can be grateful for your friends who checked in on you, you can be grateful that you have your own room that you can be by yourself and for all the things you have to look forward to. Never forget that!

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Question

How can I change my attitude from negative to positive?

Evanne Torrecillas
School Counselor
Evanne Torrecillas is a School Counselor with over four years of experience in education. She specializes in working as a mental health advocate with middle school students and their caretakers. Evanne holds a BA in Political Science from The University of California, Berkeley and an MS in Counseling with a specialization in School Counseling from California State University, Sacramento.

Evanne Torrecillas

School Counselor

Expert Answer

A lot of people like repeating affirmations and gratitude statements, but that's not for everyone. If that's your case, try focusing on wishes for yourself! Acknowledge that even though you're going through a bad day and are angry about things, you still have the ability to be grateful genuinely and to look forward to good things.

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Tips

Try this. Gather up a bunch of rocks that are big enough to write on and small enough to fit into a bowl or vase. Then take a permanent marker and write down one thing you are grateful for on the first stone. Just write something like "my family" or "my friends" or "my school". You could even be more specific than that. For example: "my mom" or "my teacher" or "my dance instructor" or "my coach". Drop the rock into the bowl or vase, whichever you chose. Then pick up the next stone and write another thing. Keep going until you can't think of anything else. Next time you think of something to be grateful for, write it on a rock and drop it in the bowl. Every night, take out each rock, hold it and think about how you were grateful for that thing today. For example: "I was grateful for my mom today because she drove me to the mall and even though I took a really long time coming out when she came to pick me up she never said a word." or "I am grateful for my friends because today they helped me out when I really needed it." This is a great activity to help reinforce a positive attitude.

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Warnings

Don't be discouraged. Creating a positive attitude takes a long time and if you do the best you can to be positive on a daily basis, you will eventually get it.

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Don't judge people. You're not perfect so why should they have to be?

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Try to stop yourself from thinking bad thoughts about yourself.

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We all have our sad days. It's okay to be upset and sad. Being positive doesn't mean being perfectly happy. Just try to do your grateful rock exercise no matter what on those days. Gratefulness is still a form of positive activity.

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