The Perfect Guide to Hosting Your First Dinner Party

How to create the right guest list, menu, ambience & more

Co-authored by Ivy Summer and Annabelle Reyes

Last Updated: August 27, 2024 Fact Checked

So you’re planning on throwing your first dinner party, and you don’t quite know where to start. Have no fear! We’ve compiled a list of helpful tips and tricks for the first-time dinner party host, from choosing a theme to curating the perfect menu. We’ve also interviewed event planning expert Ivy Summer and etiquette expert Lynda Jean for added insight, so keep reading!

Things You Should Know

Create a short and sweet guest list of 6-8 friends and choose supportive, easygoing guests to ensure good vibes.
Stick to tried-and-true recipes you enjoy and prepare what you can in advance so you aren’t worrying about cooking at the party.
Make a fun playlist that goes with the theme of your party, dim the overhead lights, and fill your space with candles to create the perfect ambience.

1

Decide who to invite.

Download Article

Keep the guest list short for your first dinner party. Smaller dinner parties of 6-8 people are easier to prepare and cook for, which is definitely a plus for a first-time host.^{[1]
X
Research source} Pick supportive, easygoing friends to invite rather than critical ones who might be harder to entertain. This will create an upbeat, lighthearted atmosphere instead of a stressful one.
- Invite people you think would get along well with each other and avoid inviting any guests who have personal issues with each other.
- This encourages good conversation and positive vibes so you can focus on your hosting duties rather than diffusing any tensions.

2

Choose a theme.

Download Article

A fun theme can help you decide what to cook and how to decorate. For example, if you’re throwing a Harry Potter dinner party, Ivy Summer, owner of Voulez Events, recommends going all in. “Chocolate frogs can be an accent to your food table,” she says. “You can even have certain drinks or ‘potions’ in different beakers and glasses to spice things up.” Here are a few other examples:
- A Mamma Mia themed party complete with delicious Greek food, decor that makes your space look like a villa, and an upbeat ABBA playlist.
- A dinner party inspired by The Great Gatsby featuring fancy finger foods, champagne, and a 20’s inspired dress code.
- A holiday party with festive dishes like roast chicken, mashed potatoes, gingerbread cookies, and peppermint bark (plus a Christmas tree for decor).

3

Send out invites 2-3 weeks in advance.

Download Article

Include the date, time, and dress code on your invitations so that your guests can prepare for your party.^{[2]
X
Research source} Try to send your invites 2-3 weeks in advance to give your guests enough notice.^{[3]
X
Research source} This also gives you time to invite another person if one of your guests can’t make it!

4

Curate a menu.

Download Article

Keep the menu simple, and try to cook things you’ve made before. You might be tempted to try out fancy new recipes, but this adds stress on your busy day. Stick to mostly tried-and-true recipes so you can focus on being a good host rather than worrying about your soufflé collapsing.^{[4]
X
Research source} Here are a few sample menus to give you some ideas:
- Italian inspired cuisine: bruschetta, mixed greens salad, spaghetti with the sauce and protein of your choice, roasted potatoes, tiramisu for dessert, and prosecco to drink.
- Simple seafood dinner: fresh bread, baked brie, salmon fillets, roasted veggies, key lime pie for dessert, and white wine to drink.
- Steakhouse themed dinner party: bread rolls and butter, wedge salad, steak platter, mashed potatoes, sauteéd spinach, cheesecake for dessert, and cocktails to drink.

5

Decide what drinks to serve.

Download Article

Pick drinks that pair well with your menu. As a general rule, red wine pairs well with red meat, while white wine pairs well with seafood and veggies.^{[5]
X
Research source} If you’re not a fan of wine, keep things simple and pick one cocktail to serve. This allows you to make a large quantity in advance rather than scrambling to make different drinks during the party!
- Don’t stress about having a ton of alcohol options—it’s completely fine to serve just one type of wine or one house cocktail.
- If you do want more variety, consider making the party BYOB (bring your own bottle). This takes some of the pressure off you while expanding the drink menu!
- Make sure you have non-alcoholic options like sparkling water, still water, and soft drinks on hand as well.

6

Cook what you can in advance.

Download Article

The more you can cook ahead of time, the better. As a general rule of thumb, limit yourself to only one dish that requires in-the-moment preparation.^{[6]
X
Research source} Cook everything else in the hours leading up to the party, leaving yourself about 45-minutes of free time before your guests arrive to change your clothes and ready yourself.^{[7]
X
Research source}
- Since most cakes, pies, cookies, and puddings can be made ahead of time, plan on preparing your dessert course the night before your party.
- This gives you one less thing to worry about on the day of the event!^{[8]
  X
  Research source}

7

Set the table before guests arrive.

Download Article

Place the plates, cutlery, and drinkware on your dining table in advance. Lynda Jean, etiquette expert and owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting, recommends using the acronym BMW to help you remember how to set your table. “The bread plate will go to the left,” she says. “It can be beside your main plate or higher. The M is the large meal plate, and the W is water on the top right.”
- For cutlery, “The knife and spoon go on the right,” she says. “You’ll usually have two forks, a small one and a large one. The small one will be the salad fork, and that goes on the outside because you’re going to use that first. Then the larger fork is beside the plate.”

8

Create the right ambience.

Download Article

Pick the perfect playlist and dim the lights. Make a playlist ahead of time so you won’t have to worry about choosing songs in the moment. Ambient lighting also helps to set the mood. Dim the overhead lights or turn them off completely and use only lamps and candles instead. This gives the room a cozy glow.^{[9]
X
Research source}
- Curate your music based on the theme of your party. If it’s Harry Potter, for example, load your playlist up with the magical score from the films.
- Set up votive candles or taper candles around the dinner table to cast your guests in a warm, comforting glow.

9

Serve the dinner family-style.

Download Article

Instead of plating each individual dish, let guests serve themselves. This makes things a lot less complicated for you as a first-time host and it allows guests to load up their plates according to their individual taste. Place each dish in an appetizing arrangement in the middle of your dining table and instruct your guests to help themselves to whatever they’d like!
- Or, set up the food on a small side table if you need to make more space on your dining table.

10

Make the clean-up easy.

Download Article

When someone is done with a plate, you can just pop it into the trash can rather than letting dishes pile up in the sink for later. Luckily, there are several disposable dinnerware sets that are more elegant looking than typical paper plates (and they won’t break the bank).

11

Have an after-dinner activity lined up.

Download Article

To keep the good vibes going after the meal, plan a fun game or activity. If you’re throwing a Harry Potter dinner party, Ivy Summer recommends a Sorting Hat Ceremony. “Have your Sorting Hat and a chair ready to go,” she says. You can have your guests take a sorting quiz, or “they can sort themselves if they already know what house they're in.” Then place the hat on each guest's head and announce their Hogwarts House!
- If you’re throwing a Mamma Mia themed party, have an ABBA karaoke session after your guests finish eating.
- If you're throwing a holiday dinner party, plan a secret Santa or white elephant gift exchange.
- If you don't have a specific theme, board games, card games, and charades make great after dinner activities as well!

12

Don’t be afraid to ask for help.

Download Article

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, enlist a guest or two to help you out. Ask a trusted friend to arrive early to help you finish up cooking, cleaning, or decorating. Or, if you’re worried about having enough food, ask a guest to bring an extra side dish, salad, or appetizer. Remember, you don’t have to go it alone!
- Also, if someone offers to help during the party, take them up on it.
- An extra set of hands in the kitchen or tidying up around the house can make all the difference!

13

Don’t be hard on yourself.

Download Article

It’s okay if a side dish doesn’t come out as planned or if you didn’t have enough time to cook that second dessert. You and your party guests will still have a fun time connecting and eating a good meal, which is what a dinner party is all about!