How Lonely Am I?

Take this quiz to find your level of lonely feelings

Loneliness is a real and serious issue in the modern world, and silly as it may sound, you’re not alone in feeling alone. But that doesn’t make feeling alone any easier and doesn’t help solve the feeling.

That doesn’t mean you have to keep living with your loneliness, though, and by taking just a couple of minutes to reflect, you can put yourself on a path to connecting with others. Take this quiz to help you better understand those feelings, and we’ll offer helpful tips on how to conquer them.

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Questions Overview

1. Do you ever feel as though you're an outsider in your group of friends?
  1. Never or rarely.
  2. Sometimes.
  3. Often, or always.
  4. I'm never with a group of friends.
2. Do you ever feel as though you have nobody to talk to?
  1. Never or rarely.
  2. Sometimes.
  3. Often.
  4. Always.
3. Do you ever feel like you're missing out on something, even if you're not sure what?
  1. Never, or rarely.
  2. Sometimes.
  3. Often.
  4. Always.
4. Is it easy for you to talk to new people and make new friends?
  1. Yes, it's very easy to make new friends.
  2. It's pretty easy to make new friends.
  3. It's a little difficult to make new friends, but not impossible.
  4. It feels impossible for me to make new friends.
5. Is it easy for you to feel heard and seen in your everyday life?
  1. Yes, I often get the sympathy and affection I need.
  2. I can usually get help and support, but not always.
  3. I don’t usually feel supported by others.
  4. I never or rarely feel supported or understood by others.
6. Do you ever feel self-conscious or out-of-place when you’re in public?
  1. No, I never feel out of place in public.
  2. I sometimes feel self-conscious in public, but not uncomfortable.
  3. I often feel out-of-place in public settings, and it makes me uncomfortable.
  4. I always feel self-conscious when I'm out in public.
7. Do you ever feel as though your accomplishments aren't recognized or rewarded?
  1. No, I feel rewarded and recognized for my achievements.
  2. I usually feel rewarded and recognized for my accomplishments, but not all the time.
  3. I often feel like my hard work and achievements aren’t recognized or rewarded.
  4. I always feel overlooked for my accomplishments.
8. Do you feel you belong to some sort of community that makes you feel connected to others—like a club, friend group, neighborhood, online community, or even your local coffee shop?
  1. Yes, I feel I belong to a community, or more than one community.
  2. I sometimes feel like I belong to a community, but not always.
  3. I don’t usually feel a sense of belonging with a community.
  4. I never feel a sense of belonging with a group or community.

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Feeling Less Lonely

Loneliness is maybe one of the leading epidemics of our time, and it’s not hard to see why. In this day and age, many of us spend much of our lives online, and though the internet connects the entire globe, it doesn’t necessarily lead to quality emotional connections. At least, the quality connections we do make online aren’t a substitute for offline relationships. That’s not to mention other factors involved in loneliness, like your local community scene, sexual orientation, career, and countless other facets. It seems like everyone’s lonely these days, but let’s look at some numbers:

  • One survey by Our World In Data found that 30% of adults in the United States reported feeling lonely some of the time, with numbers as high as 62% in Greece and 47% in Italy. And that’s just self-reported data.[1]
  • A recent Snell survey found that the number of single-person households around the world has risen as much as 50% in the last 100 years.[2]
  • Another Our World In Data survey found that the majority of adults in the United States spend the majority of their time alone.[3]

Needless to say, loneliness is a problem. But what can we do about it? How can you feel less lonely and more connected to the people around you? Here are a few places to start:

Find a community.
Community is key! Whether that community is a bowling league, book club, volunteer association, or just a group of regulars at a cafe, a dedicated gathering of people that lends a sense of belonging goes a long way to warding off loneliness. A community helps structure your life and keep you involved in a local, offline scene. Check your city’s events calendar or even local Facebook postings for groups gathering near you, and don’t hesitate to jump in! They’re only advertising because they want you there.

Go public.
You don’t have to “belong” anywhere to dip your toes into some socializing. Often, the first step is just getting out there. Go to a movie and experience a moving story in a theater of strangers, all sharing that moment together. Hang out on a park bench and say hello to passers-by. Sit in a cafe and read a book. Even if you’re not engaging directly with another person, feeling the thrum of daily life around you can help you feel less isolated. Plus, you never know what connections you’ll make!

Stay regular.
Getting out in public is one thing, but making it a habit is another. When you make yourself a regular at someplace—the theater, that park bench, the cafe—people start to recognize you, and everyone feels more comfortable interacting and getting to know each other. Wherever you go, try to go there once or twice a week or more, and at the same time. Soon, the people there will start to look familiar to you, too, and before you know it, you’ve found an organic little community all your own!

See someone.
We don’t mean start dating (though that’s one solution), we mean consider talking to a therapist or counselor. Loneliness is a real and sometimes serious affliction, and by definition it’s not one we can fight all on our own. A licensed therapist can help you sort through your feelings, find their root cause, and come up with strategies to fight them. There’s no shame in asking for help, and sometimes we just need someone to give us the tools to help ourselves.


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References

  1. ↑ https://ourworldindata.org/social-connections-and-loneliness
  2. ↑ https://ourworldindata.org/social-connections-and-loneliness
  3. ↑ https://ourworldindata.org/time-use

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    Anonymous

    Jun 1

    "There were thoughtful questions and immediate assessment with problem solving ideas."
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