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Making friends in middle school can be a little nerve-wracking—but it doesn’t have to be! By being friendly and putting yourself out there, you can form friendships that will last all throughout middle school (and beyond). Try out a few of these methods to talk to people in your class and hang out with them outside of school. Before you know it, you’ll have a fun group of friends to chill with every day!

1

Be friendly and approachable.

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2

Practice striking up conversations with people.

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  1. There are tons of ways you can strike up conversations with people at school and start getting to know them better. Compliment someone's backpack and ask them where they got it. If you see someone reading a book, ask what they're reading and if it's any good. Ask the person sitting next to you in class what they did over the weekend. People love talking about themselves, so asking a question about them is a great way to start a conversation.[2]
    • Talking to people you don't know can be kind of scary if you're shy, but the more you try it, the less scary it will be.
3

Ask questions to keep a conversation going.

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  1. When you're around someone, ask about their favorite classes, what they like to do after school, what bands or TV shows they're into, or even what they're having for lunch. Don't just jump from topic to topic—that can feel a little awkward. Instead, ask a question, then chat about that for a little while. When the conversation stalls, move to something new.[3]
    • For instance, if someone says they're going to the skate park, ask what kind of skateboard they ride or what kind of tricks they can do. Share a little about your own experience skating too, even if it's just to say that you've never ridden!
    • Asking questions lets the other person know that you're interested in what they have to say. This can actually make them more interested in learning about you, too.
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6

Try out for a sports team.

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  1. Pick a sport that you like (it could be soccer, basketball, softball, baseball, or anything in between), and try out for the team. Over time, you could become good friends with some of the other people on your team![6]
    • If your school doesn’t have a sports team, try looking for one at your local community center.

    Take the risk! "I was nervous to start middle school, I didn't know anyone on the first day, and I was overwhelmed by the prospect of making friends. I decided to try out for the softball team and although I had never played before it helped me have something in common with people and we could build our friendship from there. That was a huge risk for me but I am so glad I took it!" - Danielle, a high school student

7

Join an after-school club.

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  1. Ask a teacher or your parents for a list of after-school activities and pick 1 or 2 of them that you're the most excited about. Introduce yourself to everyone when you attend your first club meeting to meet new people and strike up a fun conversation.[7]
    • If your school doesn’t have any clubs that you’re interested in, consider asking a teacher about starting a club of your own.
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9

Sign up for electives that you enjoy.

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  1. Most schools offer electives like band, art, theater, newspaper, and yearbook. When you make your schedule, ask your homeroom teacher or guidance counselor what electives are available, and sign up for the ones that sound like fun to you. The other students in the class obviously think that elective is cool too, so you already have something in common![9]
    • You may only be able to choose your electives at the start of the school year, or you may be able to update your schedule each semester. That might seem like a long wait, but it gives you plenty of time to think about what you'll enjoy the most!
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11

Text or call people from school on the weekends.

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  1. Exchange numbers with your classmates so you can talk outside of school. Text them over the weekend to see if they want to hang out to go from “school friends” to real friends. You can also call them and chat over the phone if you can’t hang out in person.[11]
    • If you don’t have your own phone yet, ask your parents or guardian if you can borrow theirs to text or call your friends.
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13

Spend time with people who make you feel good.

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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What if a clique doesn't like me?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    If a clique doesn't like you, look for another group of people to be friends with. It's totally up to you who your friends are in middle school. Don't worry about what the clique thinks — just focus on finding friends who like you for who you are.
  • Question
    I have tried everything and I can't make any friends that are similar to me. What do I do?
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    This answer was written by one of our trained team of researchers who validated it for accuracy and comprehensiveness.
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    wikiHow Staff Editor
    Staff Answer
    Try joining an after-school club that you're interested in. You'll meet lots of other people that share the same interests as you. Over time you'll get to know them better and even become good friends!
  • Question
    What if you don't have a cell phone but they do?
    Hannah Madden
    Hannah Madden
    Community Answer
    Write their number on a piece of paper and ask your parent or older sibling if you can borrow their phone. If you have a computer, you could also try instant messaging them instead of texting.
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Tips from our Readers

  • Just try your best to be nice. If someone is being mean or ignoring you when you show interest in being their friend, they won't be a good friend to you. Know when to move on. The hardest thing about middle school is the social aspect, but trust me, everything will get better.
  • Friendship evolves slowly, so don't rush it. Have casual conversations with lots of people, but don't expect them to become your best friends right away. As you get to know people, you'll find kids you click with, and the friendships will evolve naturally.
  • If you're starting 6th grade, you'll be nervous at first. Especially if there are people from other elementary schools at your new school. Remember that everyone there is nervous, not just you! You're not alone.
  • If you make a friend who says bad things about other people, gossips behind their backs, or spills their secrets to you, let that friend go. They'll do the same to you.
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About This Article

Ashley Pritchard, MA
Co-authored by:
School Counselor
This article was co-authored by Ashley Pritchard, MA and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Ashley Pritchard is an Academic and School Counselor at Delaware Valley Regional High School in Frenchtown, New Jersey. Ashley has over 3 years of high school, college, and career counseling experience. She has an MA in School Counseling with a specialization in Mental Health from Caldwell University and is certified as an Independent Education Consultant through the University of California, Irvine. This article has been viewed 236,800 times.
79 votes - 74%
Co-authors: 99
Updated: September 5, 2024
Views: 236,800
Article SummaryX

Making new friends in middle school can feel scary, but it’s actually easier than you may think. Try joining an after-school club or activity since making friends is easier when you enjoy the same things. Over time, introduce yourself to the other members and try striking up a conversation about what you're working on or the next game you'll be playing. You can also try sitting at a new table during lunch or sitting next to someone new on the bus. Start by asking if it's okay to sit there. If the person says yes, then say thank you and take your seat. If you want to try chatting a bit, introduce yourself and ask them if they like to listen to music on the bus or what class they have after lunch. If you hit it off, ask if you can join them again tomorrow. To learn how to introduce yourself to people you don’t know, keep reading!

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    Lacey Wilson

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