Do you hate it when people insult you and want to give them a nice, smooth comeback? Then forget the "your mom" and "your face" rants and follow these steps: ask them is that all you got?

  1. If you get angered when someone insults you, you somehow automatically lose your nerves. So listen carefully to their insult, and it'll come to you easier.
  2. If you say something so complex and outrageous, no one will be impressed. Here's an example: say someone calls you fat. Don't say: "Well, I could use my belly to blow your skinny face into the ground." It just seems pathetic, trying to save face with humor. Instead, maybe try "Well it's better to be fat and happy rather than a stick like yourself."
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  3. All comebacks should flow perfectly. Try to avoid stuttering as well.
  4. Like someone says you're the stupidest person ever, you could say, "And why are you telling me this?" The only thing they could say after that is, "Cause you can't do anything good."
  5. This will help you get a comeback, and can embarrass your opponent as well! for example, if they say that you are disgusting, you can say "look who's talking" back.
  6. Maybe an even better comeback would be "I don't have time for immature viewpoints such as yours", then walk away. It leaves them in the dust. Be sure not to sound panicked like "Oh crap! Oh no, I don't have time for this!" Make it so you seem superior to them.
  7. That shouldn't have to be explained any better.
  8. If they say your clothes sucks don't talk trash about their clothes. You'll sound desperate to have a comeback. Say it gets you where you need to go.
  9. If someone insults you, don't give up in the middle of your comeback. Example: "well, you're like...yeah...whatever!" Stay with it!
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Community Q&A

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  • Question
    What if someone keeps saying, "Did your mom drop you on your head, is that why you're so ugly?"
    V Is Alive
    V Is Alive
    Community Answer
    You can say, "If I was dropped on my head, then you were thrown out a window."
  • Question
    What if they said I'm a noob?
    Diana Quezada
    Diana Quezada
    Community Answer
    Say, "Yeah, you were too, or are shortcuts the only skill you know?" Then walk away and smile.
  • Question
    What is a good comeback when someone told me to die in a fire?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    You can respond with "I would most likely go to hell, but with you here, I'm already there."
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Tips

  • Make a mental list of comebacks for different subjects. Like a comeback if someone calls you fat, make one up, then keep it in your mind. They say you're dumb? Think of a great comeback and put it in your brain.
  • Don't use the "talk to the hand" or put your hand in their face. It looks pathetic and it shows that you're immature.
  • Always act mature, even if you're really not. Especially when the other person is acting immature. If you act mature, they'll know that they can't upset you.
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Tips from our Readers

  • If the insult involves brains, say, "It's too bad they don't give out awards for arrogance; you'd have a trophy case full," or "If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on the planet." Flip the cleverness issue back onto them.
  • If you're really stuck in the moment, go with the classic "I don't have the time or patience for this" exit. State it flatly, then walk away without looking flustered. Losing your cool could end up making you seem way worse by comparison.
  • If someone calls you out for having no pals, don't freak out. Stay calm and say something like, "I'd rather have a couple of true friends than a ton of phonies." Focusing on trust over popularity makes you look confident.
  • When working on a comeback, make sure to keep in mind who you're talking to and what they actually said to you. A response that crushes it with one group might bomb with another. Pay attention to context clues.
  • If you find yourself struggling to think up a snappy comeback, subtly make fun of them instead. You could yawn, check your watch, or even inspect your nails. It'll make them feel bored rather than upset.
  • Never ever use a comeback you spotted on the first Google results page. Getting busted searching the web for "good comebacks" is ten times more embarrassing than whatever they originally threw at you.
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About This Article

Seth Hall
Co-authored by:
Life Coach
This article was co-authored by Seth Hall. Seth T. Hall (ICF ACC, CLC, and MNLP) is a Certified Life Coach and Founder of Transformational Solutions, a Los Angeles-based life-coaching company that helps people achieve their toughest goals, find their own voice, and think outside the box. He has been a life coach for over 10 years, specializing in personal development, relationships, career and finance, and wellness. He has helped his clients break the negative cycles in their lives and replace them with a positive, proactive mindset. Seth believes that everyone has the potential to live a fulfilling and rewarding life, and works passionately to help them reach their full potential. With a deep understanding of how our minds work and the power of positive thinking, he encourages his clients to find their unique paths in life and find success on their own terms. He is a certified master practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, a featured co-author for WikiHow, and co-author of "The Mountain Method”, “The Happy Tiger”, and “The V.I.S.I.O.N.S. Program”. This article has been viewed 285,082 times.
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Co-authors: 47
Updated: October 5, 2024
Views: 285,082
Categories: Language Nuances
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Reader Success Stories

  • Camilla

    Camilla

    Mar 15, 2022

    "So my hair was made fun of for it being too long and eventually after I made a comeback, they never tried to insult..." more
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