Q&A for How to Be Aloof

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  • Question
    How do you be aloof if someone is flirting with you?
    Erika Kaplan
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Erika Kaplan is a Dating Coach and Matchmaker for Three Day Rule, an exclusive matchmaking company across nine cities in the United States. With over six years of experience, Erika specializes in helping singles find quality matches through date coaching and premium matchmaking services. Erika graduated from Penn State with a Bachelor’s degree in Public Relations. She worked for Rolling Stone, Us Weekly, and Men’s Journal before leaving publishing to pursue her passion for connecting people. Erika has been featured on Lifetime, the Philadelphia Inquirer, and CBS as well as in Thrillist, Elite Daily, Men’s Health, Fast Company, and Refinery29.
    Erika Kaplan
    Matchmaker
    Expert Answer
    Focus on being subtle without hurting the other person's feelings. Make sure that you're not giving any mixed messages by holding their hand or touching them on the shoulder playfully.
  • Question
    What if I am there for someone who is going through some trauma, but they take out their feelings on me, and are now negative and cold to me? What can I do?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Try not to take it personal and imagine the hurt they must feel. Sometimes listening and making an appearance is more than enough.
  • Question
    How can I stop being so dependent on others?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Start doing more things yourself, and eventually you'll get there. If you're old enough, consider saving money so you can move out and be more independent.
  • Question
    What do I do when someone tries to make me laugh but I don't want to seem too rude?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Smile, maybe. If you are genuinely amused, show it a little.
  • Question
    How do I completely ignore a crush?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Don't look at them. Just let your eyes slide right past them if you accidentally look in their direction. Don't talk to them. The only problem with this is that if you really like them, you're sending them all the wrong signals and they'll likely give up because you're showing disinterest.
  • Question
    How do I keep a cool head when confronting my boss about treating me unfairly?
    Tom De Backer
    Tom De Backer
    Top Answerer
    Practice. Decide beforehand what you want to achieve through your conversation. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend, play out different scenarios and see what you like and don't like. Request a private meeting with your boss and talk openly and clearly. Avoid being accusatory and allow room for a conversation. Having a number of key phrases prepared, as well as a few quick fix answers, will allow you to stay calm and maintain control of the conversation.
  • Question
    What if someone was trying to pick a fight with me?
    Community Answer
    Community Answer
    Ask them to stop and if they don't, ignore them and walk away.
  • Question
    My crush has hurt me. He says that he wants to be with me, but it takes ages for him to text me or phone me. I feel like I'm being used. What can I do?
    Sara Hooper
    Sara Hooper
    Community Answer
    Talk it out with him. Tell him to tell you exactly what he wants and make sure both of you are on the same page.
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