This article was co-authored by Liz Cooledge Jenkins and by wikiHow staff writer, Hannah Madden. Liz Cooledge Jenkins is a Christian Theology Expert based in Seattle, Washington. She is a freelance writer and preacher. Liz’s writing is focused at the intersections of faith, feminism, and social justice. She is the author of Nice Churchy Patriarchy: Reclaiming Women's Humanity from Evangelicalism. She also blogs at her own Substack, and has written for outlets such as Sojourners, The Christian Century, Premier Christianity, Christians for Social Action, Red Letter Christians, and Feminism & Religion. She worked as a Chaplain for King County Fire District in Burien Washington. Prior to that, she served as College Ministry Director at Peninsula Bible Church in Palo Alto, California. She received a Master of Divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary. She earned a BS in Symbolic Systems from Stanford University.
There are 12 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
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Your church leaders are supposed to be sources of solitude and strength—how, then, do you deal with a pastor who doesn’t seem to be right for the job? Bad church leadership can lead to a bad church, and ultimately, doesn’t foster a healthy environment. Fortunately, there are steps you can take to recognize a bad pastor and encourage them to change their behavior. In this article, we’ll not only share with you the signs of a bad pastor, but we’ll also tell you how to proceed and make your church feel like home again.
Things You Should Know
- A bad pastor might be manipulative, be a poor role model, or flaunt their wealth, among other things.
- They might be arrogant, hold grudges against the congregation, misuse church funds, or drink or take drugs.
- You may want to confront your pastor if their actions are affecting you or your church.
- Talk to the pastor in private and lay out your concerns. Offer solutions to help them move forward as a better pastor.
Steps
How to Take Action
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Talk to the pastor directly. Ask to speak to the pastor alone, then lay out your concerns. If they’re a new pastor, there’s a chance that they didn’t realize their actions were being received so poorly.[16]
- “Could I speak with you privately? I wanted to share some concerns that I had about the recent use of church funds. I’m not sure they’re being used appropriately.”
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Involve other members of the congregation. Talk to other people within the church to see if they’ve noticed your pastor’s behavior, too. If so, bring them with you when you talk to the pastor. Your words may have more of an influence if they come from multiple people.[17]
- Try to avoid gossiping about the pastor or talking about them behind their back. Instead, involve others by saying something like, “Have any of you noticed some odd behaviors from the pastor lately? I wonder if we should talk to him as a group.”
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Provide solutions to the pastor. You might ask that the pastor and the church leaders make a business plan or strategy to help with transparency. Or, you could suggest that the pastor stops leaning on the congregation to do church duties. Try to phrase your suggestions as helpful pointers rather than commands to avoid making your pastor defensive.[18]
- “I think it would be helpful if you and the other leaders shared the business plan for the church. That way, we could all see how the money is being spent, so there’s no more confusion.”
- It’s a good idea to get other church leaders on your side here. The more others agree with you, the more power your suggestions will have.
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Inform higher authorities if you need to. If your pastor’s behavior is illegal, it’s time to involve the authorities. Call the police and explain what your pastor has been doing. If you have any proof, hand that over as well to support your case.[19]
- It’s important to contact actual authorities for illegal activities rather than relying on church leaders.
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Leave the church as a last resort. It’s not ideal, but if your pastor won’t change and church leaders won’t do anything, you may be better off finding a new church. Look for one where you feel safe and respected so you don’t have to deal with a bad pastor anymore.[20]
Expert Q&A
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QuestionAre some pastors predators?Liz Cooledge JenkinsLiz Cooledge Jenkins is a Christian Theology Expert based in Seattle, Washington. She is a freelance writer and preacher. Liz’s writing is focused at the intersections of faith, feminism, and social justice. She is the author of Nice Churchy Patriarchy: Reclaiming Women's Humanity from Evangelicalism. She also blogs at her own Substack, and has written for outlets such as Sojourners, The Christian Century, Premier Christianity, Christians for Social Action, Red Letter Christians, and Feminism & Religion. She worked as a Chaplain for King County Fire District in Burien Washington. Prior to that, she served as College Ministry Director at Peninsula Bible Church in Palo Alto, California. She received a Master of Divinity degree from Fuller Theological Seminary. She earned a BS in Symbolic Systems from Stanford University.
Christian Theology ExpertUnfortunately, there are those who are predators and use their roles to only serve their own needs instead of serving God and their community. These individuals might manipulate or take advantage of their people, which is a betrayal of the very purpose of their calling. It’s important to recognize that no church or pastor is perfect, but a healthy church should feel like a safe place where you can grow spiritually, find support, and build meaningful connections. If a pastor or church makes you feel drained, manipulated, or unsafe, it’s worth stepping back and evaluate your situation. A pastor is meant to shepherd and care for the flock, not exploit it. If you are in a church and feel that something is not right, then trust your instincts and seek help. Remember that your relationship with God is personal and does not depend on a single church or pastor.
Tips
References
- ↑ https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/signs-times/bad-priests-all-kinds-chase-people-away-christ-and-church
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/suzanne-lucas/bad-boss-of-the-week-gossip-in-the-office.html
- ↑ https://research.lifeway.com/2018/10/31/9-ways-to-spot-a-manipulator-in-your-church/
- ↑ https://christianindex.org/stories/an-older-pastors-view-about-drinking-alcohol-unintended-consequences,1371
- ↑ https://www.christianitytoday.com/karl-vaters/2015/november/eight-ways-to-deal-with-control-freaks-in-small-church.html?start=1
- ↑ https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/g201211/flaunting/
- ↑ https://www.sharefaith.com/blog/2011/07/bad-pastor/
- ↑ https://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/9-warning-signs-of-a-pastor-losing-his-way.html
- ↑ https://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/9-warning-signs-of-a-pastor-losing-his-way.html
- ↑ https://www.sharefaith.com/blog/2011/07/bad-pastor/
- ↑ https://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/9-warning-signs-of-a-pastor-losing-his-way.html
- ↑ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KasjZCKbw88&t=122s
- ↑ https://www.crosswalk.com/church/pastors-or-leadership/9-warning-signs-of-a-pastor-losing-his-way.html
- ↑ https://www.ncronline.org/news/opinion/signs-times/bad-priests-all-kinds-chase-people-away-christ-and-church
- ↑ https://www.sagu.edu/thoughthub/dealing-with-difficult-leaders/
- ↑ https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/moral-failings-pastor/
- ↑ https://www.sagu.edu/thoughthub/dealing-with-difficult-leaders/
- ↑ https://www.placefortruth.org/blog/10-ways-to-resolve-conflict-with-your-pastor
- ↑ https://www.placefortruth.org/blog/10-ways-to-resolve-conflict-with-your-pastor
- ↑ https://www.placefortruth.org/blog/10-ways-to-resolve-conflict-with-your-pastor