What Is a Reverse Harem Romance?

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Unlocking the secrets of this popular and empowering fiction trend

Co-authored by Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: December 16, 2024 Fact Checked

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• What is a reverse harem?
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• Origins & Popularity
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• RH Terms
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• Controversy
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• FAQs
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• Video
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• Tips

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If you've spent any time on BookTok, chances are you've come across the term "reverse harem" or RH. But what exactly is a reverse harem? Are these books as spicy as they sound? Read on to learn everything you need to know about the RH trope in fiction so you can decide if you'd like to check it out for yourself.

Meaning of Reverse Harem

"Reverse harem" is a trope in fiction, particularly romance fiction and erotica, where a single female protagonist has multiple love interests. In a reverse harem, she happily enjoys having committed relationships with all of them and never has to choose one over the others.

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Section 1 of 5:

What is a reverse harem?

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1. A reverse harem is a romance where a woman has multiple love interests. The story typically focuses on developing all of the relationships between all of the different characters, with the woman's love interests (members of her "harem") sometimes being interested in each other as well. Regardless of the many differences, all RH stories have the following things in common:

   • A single female protagonist, traditionally a very ordinary person
   • Multiple love interests (traditionally all male, but could include women or genderqueer people)
   • No need to choose (the protagonist is free to have a romantic or sexual relationship with all of her love interests at the same time and never feels torn between them)
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Section 2 of 5:

Where did "reverse harem" come from and why is it popular?

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1. 1
   Reverse harem originated in Japanese manga and anime. To get to reverse harem stories, you have to start with harem stories. This relatively common genre features a relatively ordinary male protagonist who has committed relationships with multiple, usually extremely attractive, female characters. A reverse harem story simply depicted the opposite: a relatively ordinary female protagonist involved in relationships with multiple men.

   • While the hallmark of Western RH stories is no need to choose, in Japanese RH stories the protagonist does ultimately choose one love interest to win out over all of the others.
2. 2
   RH stories became popular in fanfiction. The vast majority of fanfiction writers are young women. These women enjoyed reading and writing about an ordinary woman who finds herself in a relationship with multiple attractive men.

   • Perhaps to no surprise, RH stories feature prominently in RPF (real people fiction) stories about celebrities, with a self-insert protagonist (meaning the author modeled the protagonist after herself).
3. 3
   The RH trope spilled over from fanfiction into romance. Particularly in the US, many young women who cut their writing teeth on fanfiction end up as indie romance writers. RH stories followed those writers to that space and found plenty of enthusiastic readers. Many of these readers are active on TikTok, which caused RH stories to skyrocket in popularity.

   • At least at first, RH romances were often marketed under the ménage label, which technically only includes 2 love interests per 1 protagonist.
   • Many RH stories are linked with Omegaverse, itself an erotic trope. While TikTok banned the omegaverse tag, omegaverse stories are still popular among booktokkers.
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Section 3 of 5:

Reverse Harem Vocabulary

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1. 1
   Harem A "harem" in this context simply refers to 3 or more people who are in a romantic or sexual relationship with a single protagonist. It doesn't mean that the relationship is purely sexual or that the protagonist owns the people in the harem. Harems can have different types of dynamics:

   • Male harem: All of the members of the harem are cis men. They are all sexually or romantically involved with the protagonist and might also have side relationships (or a relationship history) with each other.
   • Mixed harem: A mixed harem includes people of different gender identities and sexual orientations. They all have a relationship with the protagonist and might also have relationships with each other.
   • Polyandrous male harem: All harem members are cis men and they only have a relationship with the protagonist—not with each other. While they might know each other or be friends, they're not romantically or sexually involved with each other in any way.
2. 2
   Reverse This is a common term both in anime and fanfiction communities that simply means the story is the opposite of whatever the label originally meant. So if a "harem" story is meant to describe a story about a wealthy man who has multiple women at his sexual and romantic disposal, a reverse harem story talks about a woman with multiple men at her disposal.

   • You can also just think of reverse as meaning the same thing that it does in any context—the roles are reversed in that the person you would normally expect to be a member of a harem is the protagonist and vice versa.
3. 3
   Polyamory In romance fiction in particular, polyamory fiction refers to fiction about any type of multi-person relationship. So you might think of a reverse harem as a very specific type of polyamorous relationship.

   • Polyamory stories are typically considered to be distinct from RH stories because RH stories are more fantastical, whereas polyamory stories tend to be contemporary romances that talk about characters who are pretty normal everyday people.
   • Polyamorous people tend not to centralize sex in their relationships. Polyamory fiction reflects this in that the stories focus primarily on the romantic and emotional relationships between the characters.
4. 4
   Polyandry Polyandry is the technical term for a woman who has multiple male partners at the same time. In a polyandry situation, these partners are considered more or less permanent, like husbands—there just happens to be more than one.

   • In RH stories that feature polyandry, the men in the harem typically aren't romantically or sexually involved with each other.
5. 5
   Polyfidelity The idea behind polyfidelity is that the group has a closed system. While they have multiple relationships with each other, they are faithful to the group and don't have romantic or sexual relationships with anyone outside of the group.

   • With polyfidelity, cheating is still possible in these relationships if someone were to get involved with someone outside the group.
   • A polyfidelity conflict in a story could involve a member of the harem having a relationship with someone outside the group or the protagonist starting a relationship with a new person who is not yet a member of the harem or acquainted with the members of the harem.
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Section 4 of 5:

Reverse Harem Controversy

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1. 1
   The word "harem" has racist and misogynist origins. The English word "harem" is taken from the Arabic word "haram," which referred simply to the women's quarters of the home. It also means "protected" or "forbidden," in the sense that women's privacy is protected in Arabic society. However, you can't escape the racist connotations that harems were large groups of sex slaves possessed by wealthy men. The word also has misogynist underpinnings to the extent that it suggests women can be owned and used as property.

   • RH stories actually need this understanding of the word to make their point. It wouldn't be revolutionary for a woman to have a harem of men without the understanding that a "harem" traditionally meant a group of women with no rights.
   • Those who support the continued use of the term might point out that the use of the word "harem" in anime turns those origins on their head anyway. It's meant to make fun of the idea by having the protagonist by a relatively "normal" person who isn't really that socially significant.
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   An inclusive trope should have a more inclusive label. Popularity of the RH trope skyrocketed in lockstep with increasing social inclusivity, especially regarding different sexualities, relationships, and gender identities. People who want the RH label to go argue that a trope that celebrates all of the many human relationships and identities shouldn't use a label with such an intolerant origin.

   • Some writers and community members have suggested "#WhyChoose" as an alternative trope label that's more inclusive. While many RH stories are tagged that way, they're usually also tagged and marketed as an RH story.
   • Polyamorous fiction and ménage fiction are also included under the "#WhyChoose" label because they all involve stories about people in committed romantic relationships with more than one person.
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Section 5 of 5:

FAQs about Reverse Harem Stories

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1. 1
   What do readers enjoy about reverse harem stories? Nearly all romance and fanfiction readers and writers are women. So it stands to reason that a lot of them would probably really enjoy reading a story in which a woman got to be doted on by a bunch of hot guys (or just hot folks in general).

   • Because of the community nature of fanfiction and romance, many of those who enjoy reading RH stories have also tried their hand at writing them.
   • RH stories are especially accessible to people who are interested in reading about romantic or sexual relationships among people of all genders.
   • Because RH stories tend to be very inclusive, they often depict relationships that aren't commonly depicted in stories. This representation makes the stories appeal to people who don't fit the heteronormative romance box.
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   Are RH stories always erotic or explicit? Not always. There are plenty of RH stories that have emerged in young adult markets, and many of the slow-burn romance stories don't have much, if any, explicit sexual content. For the most part, the focus in an RH story is on the romance and the personal relationships between the characters, not when things get steamy.

   • There are plenty of RH stories out there that do have some pretty explicit sex scenes, if that's what you're looking for. But typically it's not gratuitous—the sex scenes do something to advance the plot or develop the characters.
   • RH stories are also popular in fanfiction, where a large portion of the writers and community members are teenagers. Datasets consistently show that the vast majority of fanfiction writers are under the age of 25.
3. 3
   Is RH a trope or a genre? A trope is simply a storytelling device that just makes it easier to tell stories because you don't have to develop a trope out from scratch—it already exists and it's already understood by readers. A genre, on the other hand, is just a category of stories, and in that respect, you might say that RH is a trope that acts like a genre. The reality is that RH stories are found in many different genres, which makes it difficult to call RH itself a genre.

   • You'll frequently find reverse harems in paranormal, sci-fi, and fantasy romance stories. This fits in with the general theme that reverse harems represent escapism for many writers and readers.
   • It's worth noting that the anime community considers "harem" to be a genre, not a trope. So they might argue that RH is actually a subgenre of the harem genre.
4. 4
   What's the difference between RH and True RH? RH fans use the phrase "True RH" to refer to stories where there are multiple actual love interests actively involved in the story. This distinguishes them from stories that claim to be RH-themed but the protagonist isn't actually in multiple relationships during the story.

   • RH stories tend to focus on relationships and the emotional bond between characters. The problem is that it can take a lot of pages to develop a strong character, which is probably why most RH stories are written in series form.
   • Individual books in a series might focus more on character development or relationship development than they do on the RH side of the story. With a True RH story, the multiple relationships are there in practice, not just in theory.
5. 5
   What are some popular RH authors and titles? The best way to find RH authors and titles you might like might be digging into the RH community online. These readers and writers are always happy to recommend their favorites. In the meantime, here are some names that seem to be at the top of every RH fan's list:

   • Lola & the Millionaires, by Kathryn Moon [series]
   • Losers, by Harley Laroux [series]
   • Hannaford Prep: The Complete Series, by J. Bree
   • Ruthless Boys of the Zodiac, by Caroline Peckham and Susanne Valenti [series]
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Tips

• Check the tags of a story you're interested in reading—especially online! They'll usually tell you exactly what type of content to expect. For reverse harem stories, look for "reverse harem," "RH," "TrueRH," and "WhyChoose."
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