How to Show Your Horse That You Love Him

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1 Touching Your Horse

2 Establishing Yourself as Your Horse’s Leader

3 Caring for Your Horse

4 Preventing a Spoiled Horse

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Article Summary

Co-authored by Kate Jutagir

Last Updated: June 24, 2024 Approved

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The bond between you and your horse—the human-animal bond—is a very special one. The American Veterinary Medical Association recognizes the importance of this bond, noting that it is mutually beneficial and promotes the health and well-being of both the animal and the human. You can strengthen your bond with your horse by showing him love in a variety of ways. Your horse will be happier and healthier with the love you give him, and you will benefit from the affection and respect that he gives back to you.

Steps

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Touching Your Horse

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1. 1
   Groom your horse. Grooming is a great way to show your horse you love him. Grooming your horse every day is ideal, as well as before and after you ride him. Keep in mind that grooming is not a ‘one size fits all’ activity, so you will need to learn what grooming tools your own horse prefers, as well as how he likes for them to be used on his body.

   • Grooming your horse is also a good way to detect any abnormalities on your horse’s body that may need further medical attention.
   • There are many available grooming tools, such as hoof picks, combs (curry combs, mane and tail combs), brushes (dandy brush, body brush), and cloths (towel or polishing).
   • A curry comb is used to remove dirt and debris in your horse's coat and/or skin. Move it in small and gentle swirls on your horse's body. The mane and tail comb should be used very gently on your horse's mane and tail to prevent pulling too much hair out.
   • A dandy brush is used in a flicking motion to flick dirt off of your horse's coat. The body brush can be used all over your horse's body, but you should pay attention to his sensitive spots.
   • Learning what grooming tools to use on your horse, and how, may take a period of trial and error.
   • When you groom your horse, start on one side of him. With slow and gentle strokes, begin grooming at the top of his neck and work your down to his tail. Switch sides and repeat.
   • Be attentive to your horse’s body language (e.g., muscle tensing, stepping back)—he will let you know if there are areas of his body where he does not want to be groomed.
   • Talking to your horse in a calm voice can help him feel comfortable with you grooming him.
   • Consider talking with an equine groomer or your equine veterinarian if you feel unsure about grooming your horse properly.
2. 2
   Massage your horse. Massaging your horse strengthens your bond with him and has many benefits, including soothing his sore muscles,, improving his circulation and muscle tone,, and calming his nervous system. There are a variety of equine massage methods. Whichever method you choose, your horse will likely appreciate your effort to massage him.

   • An easy way to massage your horse is to use broad strokes with the palm of your hand and massage him in the direction of his muscles.
   • Use your own body weight to apply pressure as you massage him, but make sure not to push him. Pay attention to your horse to know how much pressure he is comfortable with.
   • A basic understanding of equine anatomy will help you give your horse a better massage. Talk to your equine veterinarian to learn more about equine anatomy.
   • Do not massage your horse if he has certain medical conditions, such as a fungal skin infection or nerve irritation. Talk with your veterinarian to find out if your horse's medical condition makes a massage impractical.
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3. 3
   Rub your horse with different objects. Even if your horse loves when you touch with him your hands, he should also become comfortable with other objects touching him. Practice gently rubbing him with a saddle, ropes, and bridles. In essence, rub him with any object that you would regularly use on him.

   • The more time you spend getting him comfortable he is with different objects on his body, the more he will trust you.
   • As with other ways of touching him, read your horse’s body language as you rub him with different objects.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Establishing Yourself as Your Horse’s Leader

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1. 1
   Lead your horse. In the herd, horses are natural followers. Within the herd, one horse needs to be a leader. In your relationship with your horse, your horse should see you as his leader. One way to establish the leadership role with your horse is to lead him.

   • It may not seem like asserting your leadership is showing your horse you love him. However, horses need boundaries and leadership. When he sees you as a good leader who will be attentive to his needs, he will trust you and feel safe with you.
   • Lead your horse from various positions—the lead position (ahead of your horse), partner position (beside your horse), and drive position (behind his withers).
   • Leading your horse teaches your horse to respect your personal space.
   • As you lead your horse, be assertive, yet gentle, with him when maintaining and establishing the boundaries of your personal space.
2. 2
   Teach your horse to yield to direct pressure. Yielding to pressure is another way for your horse to see you as his leader. Horses use pressure with each other to assert dominance. Therefore, when you apply pressure to him, you are asserting your dominance over him—once again establishing your leadership role.

   • Use your hands to apply pressure on your horse’s body. The pressure should be gentle yet firm—not enough to push him, but enough to make him a little uncomfortable.
   • Do not release the pressure until your horse has moved away from it.
   • Practice applying direct pressure to different parts of his body (e.g., shoulder, muzzle, legs).
3. 3
   Teach your horse to yield to indirect pressure. Indirect pressure involves the use of driving aids, such as a lead rope, to get your horse to yield. Practice this by standing about three feet in front of your horse, with his lead rope attached to his halter. Point your index finger at him and begin to wiggle the lead rope. Your horse should begin to move backwards.

   • Your horse may not understand what you are trying to get him do to the first time around. He may stand there, or move to the side. Wiggle the lead rope with more force until he steps back, or at least leans backwards.
   • Stop wiggling the lead rope as soon as makes the backward motion.
4. 4
   Practice leading and applying pressure each day. It may take some time for your horse to learn that you are his leader and that he should respect your personal space. Practice for a few minutes each day until your horse readily and consistently accepts your leadership role with him.
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Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Caring for Your Horse

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1. 1
   Feed your horse a good diet. A great way to show your horse you love him is to feed him high-quality food and provide him with access to plenty of fresh water. Your horse’s dietary needs will vary according to his age, size, activity level, and medical condition. Meeting his dietary needs will help your horse live a happy and healthy life.

   • Grass and hay are essential to a horse’s diet—they provide roughage that helps move food through his digestive system. Bermuda grass and fescue are good types of grasses to feed your horse.
   • Alfalfa hay is a great hay to feed your horse. Make sure the hay is green, clean (no dirt or weeds), and free of mold.
   • Your horse should eat about 1.5% of body weight in roughage each day.
   • Horses can eat grain, but too much of it can cause digestive problems and weight gain. Limit your horse’s grain intake to four to eight pounds per day, spread out over several meals. Oats are good type of grain to feed your horse on a limited basis.
   • Salt licks add extra minerals to your horse’s diet. As long as he has access to plenty of fresh water, you do not need to be concerned with him eating too much salt.
   • Pelleted horse food contains a good mix of grains, molasses, vitamins, and minerals. However, pellets can be expensive.
   • Allow your horse to graze as much as possible. Constant access to grazing is preferable.
2. 2
   Give your horse treats. Your horse will love when you give him treats! However, treats should be given only in moderation. Also, the treats should be nutritious.

   • Apples are a great, healthy treat for horses. Apples have fiber (which provides roughage) and vitamin C (thought to be important for older horses). Applesauce may be suitable for horses with finicky appetites.
   • Maple syrup is a sweet treat that is an energy source and contains potassium and calcium.
   • Honey is another healthy sweet treat. It contains vitamin B and is rich in minerals and antioxidants.
   • Be mindful that hand-feeding treats may lead to your horse nipping at you.
   • Feeding treats should be strategic (e.g., a reward during training).
   • If you give him treats during training sessions, you should work on phasing out the treats. A scratch on the chin can replace the treat and will still be rewarding to your horse.
3. 3
   Schedule regular horse care. Showing your horse you love him also involves staying on top of his health. For example, your horse should receive a dental exam every six months. Poor oral health can lead to several problems in your horse, such as difficulty eating, colic, and poor athletic performance.

   • Your horse’s hooves also need to be taken care of. You should clean them every day, as well as before and after every ride. Your horse’s hooves also need to be trimmed every four to six weeks. A farrier can trim your horse’s hooves if you are unable to do so.
   • To keep your horse healthy, he will also need to receive regular vaccinations (e.g., tetanus) and dewormings by your equine veterinarian.
   • Vaccinations are typically administered on a yearly basis. Your horse’s deworming schedule may depend on the worm burden in your pasture, so talk with your equine veterinarian to see how often your horse should be dewormed.
4. 4
   Provide him with comfortable housing. Depending on how you use your horse, he may end up spending a lot of time in his stall. His stall should be dry, safe, and provide protection from the elements (e.g., sun, wind, rain). In the summer months, his stall should also be able to provide him relief from biting insects.

   • Given that your horse is on his feet for most of the day, the floor of his stall should be comfortable for him. Ideally, the floor should be comprised of multiple layers: a subfloor made of natural materials (e.g., crushed rock, wood, not dirt) and paved with concrete or asphalt, and a ‘top’ floor made up of rubber or plastic flooring.
   • You will need to clean his stall every day.
   • Supplying the stall with fresh hay, fresh shavings, and a bucket of water will make your horse’s stall more comfortable.
   • If you have multiple horses, it is helpful to have the stalls arranged such that the horses can see each other.
5. 5
   Exercise your horse. Horses are naturally athletic animals and need plenty of exercise. Exercise will help keep your horse healthy, calm, and happy. Individual exercise needs vary from horse to horse, but, at a minimum, you should exercise your horse for 30 minutes to an hour, three to four times a week.

   • Giving your horse regular access to a paddock or pasture will allow him to casually stroll and get some low-intensity exercise.
   • Riding your horse is also good exercise. A 10 to 15 minute trotting ride on a trail or in a riding ring is a good way to warm up your horse before more intense riding or training.
   • You can ride your horse as often as four to six times a week, but he must be given at least one day a week of rest.
   • It is important to cool down your horse after an intense exercise session. Cool him down by walking him until he relaxes and his heart rate slows down. Let him cool down before putting him back in his stall.
   • Talk with your equine veterinarian to determine the right type and amount of exercise for your horse.
6. 6
   Talk to your horse. Your horse will not know what you are saying, but the tone of your voice can influence your bond with him. For example, talking to him in a calm and soothing voice, especially if he is anxious or fearful, can help calm him down.

   • Do not use a loud or high-pitched voice with your horse, especially when you are trying to correct bad behavior.
   • Your horse will appreciate if you talk to him in a low and soft-pitched voice.
   • Your voice may need to be more firm when you are training him, but it should still be calm.
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Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Preventing a Spoiled Horse

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1. 1
   Create a balanced relationship with your horse. The relationship with your horse should have an equal amount of love, leadership, and language. Of these three, too much love and too little leadership from you can create a very spoiled horse.

   • If your horse does not see you as his leader, he likely will not respect you. He is also unlikely to be responsible, since you did not set boundaries for him as his leader.
   • Practice exercises that establish your leadership.
   • Ensure that his needs are taken care of, but do not overindulge him by feeding him a lot of treats or not disciplining him. His diet and training must have boundaries.
2. 2
   Do not feed him if he is acting aggressively. If you notice that your horse’s ears are back, or if he is being pushy and forceful with you at feeding time, come back to feed him at a later time. If you feed him when he is acting aggressively, you will communicate to him that he is the boss. This will shift the balance of leadership from you to him.

   • Eventually, he will learn that he cannot act any way that he wants at feeding time.
3. 3
   Treat your horse like a horse, not a dog. This may sound intuitive, but horses and dogs have a fundamentally different view of the world. Horses are prey animals and are motivated by safety and comfort. Dogs are predators and are motivated by attention and food.

   • When you interact with a horse as if he were a dog—showering him with hugs and attention, for example—you are showing him way too much love and throwing off that part of your relationship with him.
   • With all of this love and attention, your horse will think that you’ve given him free rein to push you around and assert his dominance.
   • You will have much more trouble establishing your leadership if you interact with your horse as if he were a dog.
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Expert Q&A

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• Question

  How do you bond with your horse?

  

  Kate Jutagir
  Equestrian Specialist & Trainer

  Kate Jutagir is an Equestrian Specialist, Hunter/Jumper Trainer, and the Owner of Blackhound Equestrian, a premier training barn located on 65 acres in Castro Valley, California. Originally designed to be a riding school used as a springboard for dedicated students into careers in the sport, Blackhound Equestrian has grown into a hunter/jumper training program for all levels focusing on providing a solid foundation needed for personal advancement in the sport. Kate has over 25 years of equestrian instruction and training experience. Her focus on developing horse and rider partnerships provides a complete equestrian education for both beginners and advanced riders alike.

  

  Kate Jutagir

  Equestrian Specialist & Trainer

  Expert Answer

  Give them a massage! Different horses like to be massaged in different parts of their body. Try massaging your horse all over to find where it does and doesn't like to be touched.

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• Question

  Is showing a horse affection in general a good thing?

  

  Community Answer

  Yes, horses feel safe with someone by their side. Cuddle him and feed and groom him lots so he feels safe.

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• Question

  Where do I massage my horse?

  

  Karin

  Top Answerer

  All over -- from the neck, across the rump, and down to the legs. You can even massage some of the cheeks and forehead.

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Tips

• Showing your horse you love him does not have to be complicated. It can be as simple as sitting with him in the pasture as he grazes.
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• Talking to your horse in a calm voice can show him that you love him.
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• Your horse will show you through his body language that he appreciates your love: his eyes will soften when he looks at you, he’ll whinny when he sees you, and he’ll become calm and quiet when you talk to him.
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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

• Give your horse different treats and see which one they prefer. Don't give your horse a treat if they have misbehaved. No matter the circumstances (even if you have just been bitten or kicked) NEVER EVER hit your horse. Instead, take your crop and give them a tap just behind your girth (or where your girth should be), point your finger, and say, "NO, STOP."
• Trail rides are a great way to relax your horse, but most of the time it is not enough exercise for the horse. I have found that riding or working with your horse in its paddock or field with other horses is a great way to exercise your horse, in addition to the pleasure of a trail ride.
• Don't feed a horse straight from your hand, as it could teach them to bite when you have your hand by their face. They'll learn to think you're always going to give them food when your hand is out.
• Take care of your horse yourself, as much as you can. Taking care of your horse yourself instead of letting other people do it can help you bond with your horse.

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Warnings

• Horses can get easily spooked and may react suddenly and forcefully when they are scared. Always look out for your own safety when you are around your horse.
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• Equine care can be very expensive. Make sure to leave plenty of room in your budget for equine-related expenses.
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