How to Squelch Malicious Gossip

Co-authored by Jessica George, MA, CHt

Last Updated: February 11, 2024 Approved

Hate that people are saying things about you behind your back? Stop it now. This article explains exactly how you can squelch malicious gossip at work, in school, within your own family or absolutely anywhere else. Get started at step number one below.

Steps

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1
Don't participate in gossiping yourself. This gives you more credibility. If someone's bold enough to make up gossip about you then they probably do it to others as well, which means they will eventually lose credibility. Don't say "Well she..." say something like "Those things aren't true, but I'll let you make up your own mind about so-and-so."
- Gossiping people are looking for others to share the gossip with. If they see that you are staying neutral and not playing their game, they will eventually stop approaching you with their gossip.
Find out who created the malicious gossip or rumours and who spread it. Make sure you are totally calm before you do it. Ask why the person spread the rumour. While one person may appear to be the source, they aren't always. A lot of rumors start from one miscommunication that turns into a bigger problem.^{[1]
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Rumours are a form of social bullying and it is important that you don't let the bullying affect your life.^{[2]
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American Psychological Association
Leading scientific and professional organization of licensed psychologists

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Even if you hate their guts don't give them the satisfaction of thinking that it affects you.^{[3]
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If you go out of your way to defend yourself it will seem as though you have something to hide.^{[4]
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Ask to stay anonymous and report the trouble that you're having with this person. If the authority that you contacted doesn't pay any attention to your report go to a higher authority and so on.^{[5]
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This will help you win the battle.
After you win, the spreader will probably want to be your friend. Refuse the offer, even if you don't want to, so that people won't want to mess with you.
Remember, be extra careful concerning whom you confide in, as not everyone keeps information to themselves; and you never know who might be hearing and looking. Try to keep a low profile. If in doubt, check with someone you trust: e.g. parents, boss, trusted friend, relative.
It can give them the morsels that you have something to hide. The best way is to be calm, honest, and concise.^{[6]
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tell them to mind their own business. They might think you have something to hide, that you are being rude, or that they can get sarcastic or angry with you and say 'It is my business'. They can then spread it to others, and might press you for information even more.^{[7]
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Be Confident. Even if you are not a confident person, you can always try to be one. Ooze confidence out of yourself, even in tricky situations. The key to being confident is knowing your assets, polishing them, and showing them off to the world, but remember to also be humble!
Even if you have had the worst day imaginable, and you really can't handle them, stick at it. Keep your cool because you know you are invincible!
If malicious gossip, rumour spreading, and lies become severe enough, not only are they forms of bullying, they can also become Human Resources issues as well. Gossip, rumour spreading and lies can land someone out of a job and if serious, with the law as well (i.e. the offenses of libel and slander).^{[8]
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Tips

Remember gossiping and blabbing does not earn you any friends and also gossiping and blabbing can cost you your friends and it can damage reputation and relationships and it can also land you in serious trouble.

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Remember if someone tells you something in confidence - Always keep that information told to you to yourself.

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Keep out of gossiping and any conversations which involve badmouthing, snide remarks, sarcasms, put-downs. (Discreetly and do a silent yawn - Meaning what they are saying is boring)

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Warnings

Never spout off in front of them. Always be calm even if you feel like arguing with him/her.

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Don't let the insult ruin your life.

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Stay calm and remember, when people ask if it's true say no and tell them that it's just a lie and say other stuff. Good luck!

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Avoid him/her at all times. Also avoid confrontations, but try not to look cowardly.

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Don't pay any attention to the spreader's insults. Most of the spreader's insults aren't true because, in reality, they are only jealous of you - nothing more.

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