How to Stage Kiss like a Professional Actor

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Nail your on-stage kiss with our helpful tips

Co-authored by Lesly Kahn, MFA

Last Updated: September 8, 2024 References

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Getting Comfortable

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Choreography

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Understanding the Scene

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Performing

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Expert Q&A

Whether you're pursuing an acting career or just having fun performing in school plays, the time may come when you have to kiss a co-star on stage. It can be an uncomfortable situation, particularly if you've never done it before and you don't know the other person very well. The key to pulling off a believable kiss that you're both comfortable with is making sure you understand the tone of the moment and rehearsing it until it feels natural.

Things You Should Know

Get to know your scene partner. The more comfortable you feel around each other, the easier it will be to ace your on-stage kiss.
To alleviate some of the nerves, rehearse the kiss with your co-star as many times as necessary to ensure that you both know exactly how to do it on stage.
If you’re uncomfortable kissing your partner, you can modify the kiss by not touching lips or talk to your director to see if they’d consider adjusting the scene.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Talking to your Co-Star

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Get to know one another. For most people, having to do a kissing scene with someone who they don’t know very well feels awkward. The best way to alleviate your discomfort is to get to know your co-star a little better. If you’re able to become more comfortable with one another, it may be easier to play the kissing scene without feeling much embarrassment.^{[1]
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Expert Source

Lesly Kahn, MFA
Acting Teacher & Coach

Expert Interview. 12 May 2020.}
- You don't have to spend a lot of time with your co-star to get to know them. Consider going out for some coffee or just sit down and chat with them during rehearsal breaks
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Discuss the character motivation. While it helps if you have a certain comfort level with your co-star, it’s just as important that you both grasp what’s happening in the kissing scene. Have a discussion about the motivation for each character so you both understand what the kiss means to them and can figure out the best way to approach it.^{[2]
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- Keep in mind that the kiss might not mean the same thing to both characters. For example, one character might have genuine feelings, while the other is only trying to manipulate their love interest to get something they want. Even if that’s the case, you and your co-star should agree on what the overall tone of the kiss should be, such as tender, passionate, or gentle.
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Set ground rules. In order for you and your co-star to feel less awkward during the kiss, it helps to establish clear boundaries about what you're both comfortable with. You might both agree to kiss for real during the scene, but decide that it's best to do it with your mouths completely closed. On the other hand, if you're both feeling embarrassed, you might agree that it's better to do a fake kiss so your lips don't actually touch. Take the time to discuss how close you're willing to get, so neither of you accidentally makes the other uncomfortable. ^{[3]
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- No matter what your director or co-star thinks, you should never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. It’s normal to feel nervous and awkward, so you shouldn’t be afraid to speak up.^{[4]
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  Lesly Kahn, MFA
  Acting Teacher & Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 12 May 2020.}
- If you're not sure how to talk to your co-star about your boundaries, you might say something like, "Because we don't know each other well, I'm only comfortable with a close-mouthed kiss. Is that okay with you?"

Part 2

Part 2 of 4:

Choreographing the Kiss

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Plan a real kiss. The most important step in feeling comfortable about a kissing scene is working out the specific movements that will make up the moment. Once you and your co-star have established boundaries for the scene, it's usually easier to plan the kiss. Try to focus on the technical details to keep it from becoming awkward. That means discussing whether you'll be standing or sitting for the kiss and which direction you'll each move your head.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Lesly Kahn, MFA
Acting Teacher & Coach

Expert Interview. 12 May 2020.}
- The tone of the kiss can help you choreograph it. For example, if it's a tentative first kiss, you'll probably move slowly and it won't last very long. On the other hand, if it's a passionate kiss, you will probably move quickly to convey urgency, and it will last a little longer.
- Don’t just focus on the kiss itself. Consider where you’re going to place your hands during the scene, such as on your co-star's cheek, and whether you’re going to embrace as you kiss.
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Use a fake kiss. For many stage kisses, you don’t actually have to touch lips with your co-star to make the audience believe you're kissing. One of you can tenderly place your hand on the side of the other’s neck, so the fingers are behind the ear and the thumb can rest against the co-star’s lips. When you or your co-star leans in for the kiss, you kiss the thumb rather than the lips. It's an ideal option if you're uncomfortable with the idea of kissing your co-star.^{[6]
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- If you’re planning to use the fake stage kiss method, ask an experienced actor to show you how to do it. It can be tricky if you’ve never seen it used before
- For the fake stage kissing technique, make sure that it’s the thumb on the hand that’s furthest away from the audience that rests against the lips. That way, it will be harder for the audience to pick up that it’s not a real kiss.
- In some cases, it may not be possible to do a fake stage kiss. Talk to your director to discuss what works best for the scene.
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Rehearse the kiss. If the first time you kiss -- or even fake kiss -- your co-star is on the stage, you’re probably going to be especially anxious. To alleviate some of the nerves, make sure to rehearse the kiss with your co-star as many times as necessary to ensure that you both know exactly how to stage it and you're more comfortable with the idea.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Lesly Kahn, MFA
Acting Teacher & Coach

Expert Interview. 12 May 2020.}
- While you and your co-star may want to rehearse alone the first couple of times, you should practice in front of the other cast and crew a few times so you get used to performing the scene in front of an audience.
- Practice the kiss when you’re in costume at least once or twice. That way, if you or your co-star are wearing a hat or some other piece of clothing that might make the kiss awkward, you’ll know ahead of time.
- The director may have some notes about the kiss after they see you rehearse it. Incorporate that feedback into your performance as long as you’re comfortable with it.

Part 3

Part 3 of 4:

Understanding the Scene

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1
Read the play carefully. Before you prepare for a stage kiss, it’s important to understand what’s happening in the scenes leading up to it, as well as what occurs afterward. That can help you decide the best way to play the kiss. Read the entire play closely, so you’re sure that you understand your character’s emotions and motivation for the kissing scene.^{[8]
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- Make sure to consider the relationship between your character and your co-star’s character. For example, if the stage kiss is between two new lovers, it will likely be tentative and gentle. On the other hand, if the kiss takes place between two people who are reunited after a long separation, it may be more passionate.
- Take your character’s personality into account too. For example, if you’re playing someone who tends to keep their emotions bottled up, the kiss may be their breaking point when it all comes to the surface.
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Talk to the director. Whether you’re acting in a school play or a Broadway show, it’s the director’s job to ensure that all of the actors know exactly how to play their characters and the specific scenes. Your director will probably have a specific idea of how the kiss should be played, so they can provide suggestions to help you and your co-star know what to do. If the director doesn’t mention the kissing scene specifically, don’t be afraid to ask for some guidance.^{[9]
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- Because your director has probably overseen kissing scenes before, they probably have some good advice about how to make the experience less awkward. Let the director know if you're feeling embarrassed, so they can give you some pointers to feel more comfortable.
- If your director wants to play the kissing scene in a way that’s different from what you imagined, have an open mind. Try it their way, and if it doesn’t feel natural or right to you, ask if you can try it your way to see if it works better.
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Remind yourself that you’re acting. Having to kiss a co-star who you don’t know very well can be uncomfortable and embarrassing. However, it’s important to remember that while you may not have feelings for your co-star, your character does feel a connection to the character that your co-star is playing. You and your co-star don’t have to be attracted to one another or even like each other -- you just have to make the audience believe that your characters do.^{[10]
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- Try to treat the kissing as you would any action in a scene that you wouldn't do in real life, such as yelling at another character or being violent. It's all just pretend.
- Playing a kissing scene can be especially awkward if you have a boyfriend or girlfriend. It’s best to have an honest discussion with your significant other about it rather than avoiding the topic. That way, you can address their concerns and reassure them that you’re only playing a role.

Part 4

Part 4 of 4:

Performing the Kissing Scene

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1
Pay attention to hygiene. A kissing scene is more pleasant for everyone involved when both actors are courteous enough to practice proper hygiene. Make show that you’ve showered the day of the performance, and use deodorant before going on stage. Most importantly, though, no one wants to kiss someone who has bad breath, so brush your teeth before the scene too.^{[11]
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- If your kiss is at the end of the play and you’re worried about your breath not being very fresh by then, it’s a good idea to bring some breath mints, gum, breath spray, or mouthwash with you. During the intermission or a scene that you’re not in, you can quickly freshen your breath for the kiss.
- If you’re planning to kiss for real, you may also want to apply some lip balm to ensure that your lips are smooth.
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Make sure you know your lines. It may seem obvious, but you want to be certain that you know all of your lines leading up to and following the kiss. If you focus exclusively on the kiss itself and how nervous you are about getting it right, you run the risk of forgetting your lines during the performance and ruining the scene. Go over the lines in the kissing scene a little more carefully than the other scenes in the play to ensure that you have them down cold.^{[12]
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- One trick to help you learn the lines in your kissing scene is to practice them while you’re doing something else, such as knitting or tossing a ball. That can help simulate the distraction that you may feel while you’re on stage and thinking about the upcoming kiss.
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Do the kiss as rehearsed. If you want to get the kiss right when you’re on the stage, you should perform it exactly as you and your co-star have practiced.^{[13]
X
Expert Source

Lesly Kahn, MFA
Acting Teacher & Coach

Expert Interview. 12 May 2020.} Changing the way you play it at the last minute because you’re uncomfortable or feeling awkward usually only makes things worse because your co-star doesn't know what's coming. Perform the kiss exactly as you two rehearsed, so you both know what to do and how to react.^{[14]
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- If you’re feeling uncomfortable with anything regarding the kiss, speak up during rehearsals. You want to be confident about the way that you’re playing it by the time of the performance.
- If there is something about the kiss that needs to be changed at the last minute, such as you wanting to forgo a real kiss for a fake stage kiss because you’re sick, make sure to tell your co-star before you go on stage.

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How do I stage kiss without being uncomfortable?

Lesly Kahn, MFA
Acting Teacher & Coach
Lesly Kahn is an acting teacher and coach based in Los Angeles, California. She is the founder and owner of Lesly Kahn & Company, Actor Training, which focuses on preparing actors for employment in film, television and theatre. With well over 30 years of experience, Ms. Kahn has coached hundreds of actors who have become household names. She also ran the BFA Program in Acting at Marymount Manhattan College, and worked in television as well as New York and regional theatre. Lesly holds a BFA from New York University and an MFA from The Yale School of Drama.

Lesly Kahn, MFA

Acting Teacher & Coach

Expert Answer

If you have to kiss, find somebody to kiss and practice kissing. Don't just wait until you get to set. Talk to the person beforehand and discuss the kiss and ask if you can practice in a professional manner. This way, you can do it a few times and get rid of any discomfort you might have.

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Do you have any tips to stop giggling and stuff during rehearsal? Also, how early should the kiss be introduced during rehearsal?

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Community Answer

Just focus on the performance, and act it out. Block out the whole world and feel like nothing else is happening. The kiss should be introduced when the cast members have gotten to know each other and are okay to do possibly embarassing things together.

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What if it is going to be my first kiss, but I want my first kiss to be with someone else?

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If this is in a play, you should tell the other person and the director. Then work it out from there.

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Tips

Even if you’re not a professional actor, you should act professionally. Try not to giggle or make a big deal out of the kiss. That can help make you and your co-star feel more comfortable.

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In most cases, the more you have to kiss someone on stage, the more comfortable you’ll become. The first time is usually the most difficult.

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Always be honest with your co-star and the director if something about the kiss makes you uncomfortable.

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