How to Start a Conversation on Bumble

Co-authored by Shana Tibi and Nicole Levine, MFA

Last Updated: September 28, 2024

So, you've matched with someone on Bumble—congratulations! But now what? Well, if you have First Move privileges, you'll need to send a message to the other person within 24 hours, or else the match will expire. This wikiHow teaches you how to reach out to your Bumble match, and what you can say to spark a great first conversation.

Question 1 of 5:

Who can send the first message on Bumble?

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You must have First Move privileges to send the first message. In general, only women can send the first message on Bumble. But it's a little more complicated than that, depending on what you're doing on Bumble:
- Dating mode: Only women and non-binary people can start a conversation with someone of a different gender. If two men (or two people of the same gender) match, either can start the conversation.^{[1]
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- BFF mode: BFF mode only displays people of the same gender, so either can write to the other first.
- Bizz mode: The gender rules are the same as in Dating Mode, but instead of only having 24 hours to write to a match, you'll have 7 days to start the conversation.

Question 2 of 5:

How do I match with someone?

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If they swipe right on you back, you'll be able to chat with them! You have 24 hours from the time you match with someone to start a conversation with them (unless you're in Bizz mode—then you'll have 7 days). At that point, the other person has 24 hours to respond. Once they've responded, you'll have an official match, and the time limit will no longer apply.^{[2]
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Question 3 of 5:

I have First Move privileges, so how do I send a message?

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1
Tap the chat bubble icon to view your matches. Everyone you've matched with appears at the top of the Conversations page. Their photos will be surrounded by yellow circles.
- If you see a green circle around the person's profile photo, that person is a "Beeline" match, which means they've swiped right on you, but you haven't swiped right on them. Beeline matches are only available to Premium subscribers.
If you're within the 24-hour timeframe (or within 7 days, if using Bizz mode), you can now send your first message!

Question 4 of 5:

What could I say to spark a conversation?

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1
Start with an open-ended question. It's hard to come up with things to talk about if you don't know anything about a person. That's why questions are great conversation starters. What was it about their profile that made you want to swipe right? Do you have anything in common? If so, think of a question you could ask them about that topic. When you ask a question, you're likely to get an answer.
- If you both like hiking and/or the outdoors, ask about their favorite local hikes.
- Did they mention any bands or TV shows you both like? Ask what they thought about the latest album or episode, or what they'd recommend you listen to or watch.
- Are they a student? If they haven't mentioned what they study in their bio, ask them! You could also ask what they think of their program and what types of classes are involved.
- If you're at a loss, you already have one thing in common with the person—you're both on Bumble! Ask them what's the worst line they've heard, whether they've met any weirdos, or what they're looking for.
- Try to avoid yes-or-no or one-word answer questions, as they can be conversation stoppers.
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Comment on a photo. Even after you ask a question, you could run out of things to talk about. One thing that could keep the conversation going is to bring up things in their photos.
- Pets: One thing is for sure—everyone loves talking about their pets. Have they shared photos of their dog or cat? Tell them how cute their pet is, or how much you love that type of animal. Ask how old their dog is, or how many pets they have.
- Books: Do you see a book you've both read in one of their photos? Tell them you've read it and ask what they thought.
- If they've shared a photo of a place you've been or recognize, ask what they thought about it, or tell a funny story about a time you've been there.
Your first message should be interactive and show that you're interested in initiating a conversation. Starting with a one-word greeting puts all of the pressure on the other person, and they'll think you're not making a real effort to connect .

Question 5 of 5:

How can I make a good first impression?

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1
Appeal to the person's sense of humor. If the person's profile shows that they have an oddball or sarcastic sense of humor, a funny GIF or cheesy pickup line could make them laugh (in a good way).
- Self-deprecating humor can be a great ice breaker, but don’t be too self-deprecating—you don't want them to doubt your self-confidence.
- Avoid joking about controversial or political subjects until you've built a rapport.
Before you start typing your conversation starter, remember that authenticity is what matters most. Don't stress to much about saying the right thing—you want this person to like you for you.
3
Show genuine interest. People on Bumble could be chatting with many matches at once. If you want this person to keep talking to you, make sure they know you are interested in getting to know them in particular.
- Don't be afraid to compliment. Everyone loves a compliment, but too many (or too personal) compliments can make people uncomfortable. If you think a person is attractive, tell them!^{[3]
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  Expert Interview. 19 October 2021.}
- If you're enjoying the conversation, tell them you'd love to meet in person, or at least have a phone or FaceTime conversation to see if there's a spark.
- Don't just talk about yourself. Continue asking questions and you'll keep getting answers!

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Question

What can I say instead of hey?

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.

Shana Tibi

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

Mention something specific to the other person! Their profession, their alma mater, an activity they like, or a core value are all fair game.

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Question

Can I just say hey on Bumble?

Shana Tibi
Certified Professional Matchmaker
Shana Tibi is a Certified Professional Matchmaker, Date and Relationship Coach, and the Founder of Curated Connections, a matchmaking service for single professionals. Shana specializes in understanding core values and personal preferences to curate dates. She holds a BA in Peace Studies and Conflict Resolution from Prescott College and an MSW in Social Work from California State University, Hayward. She is an active member of the Global Love Institute where she earned her matchmaking certifications.

Shana Tibi

Certified Professional Matchmaker

Expert Answer

That's not a great idea—try to keep it light-hearted and fun instead! Sending "hey" just feels like a copied and pasted message.

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
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