PDF download Download Article PDF download Download Article

Romantic relationships can be confusing and a lot of fun. Sometimes, the hardest part is starting one. It takes patience to find a good person, get to know them, and enter kick off the romance. The good news is that if you do it well, you can have a happy, healthy relationship.

Method 1
Method 1 of 3:

Making a Connection

PDF download Download Article
  1. Once you find someone that you are interested in, spend time with them. Go out on dates, meet up for lunch, or even just go for a walk and talk. Seeing each other frequently will give you the chance to connect with the other person.[1]
    • Don't overdo it. Seeing each other few times a week is fine, but seeing each other every day can actually damage a new relationship.
    • Giving the other person space is not a bad thing. It can show them that you aren't needy, which most people find to be attractive.
  2. While you are spending time with the other person, it is important to ask genuine questions and pay attention to their answers. The more you learn about the person, the deeper your relationship can grow. They will also appreciate your honest desire to understand and care for them.[2]
    • For example, you might ask them about what things they liked to do as kids or whether or not they have any family nearby.
    • Delay sexual intimacy until you feel comfortable communicating with them. That way you are less likely to have a misunderstanding when you finally do hook up.
    Advertisement
  3. Creating trust takes time. You have to be consistent and show up when the other person needs you. You have to keep promises that you make to them, whether it’s showing up for a date or helping them clean their house. It is also important to always tell them the truth, and if they ask something that you are uncomfortable sharing, tell them that.[3]
    • For example, if they asked you something deeply personal on a second date, you could say “I’m not really comfortable talking about that right now, but we can discuss it when we know each other better.”
    • Trust often is conferred when you make yourself vulnerable. Opening yourself up to someone and showing them both your positive traits as well as your fears and insecurities helps create deeper, lasting connections.[4]
  4. Advertisement
Method 2
Method 2 of 3:

Committing

PDF download Download Article
  1. Even though you are seeing each other frequently and going out on dates, the other person can’t be sure of your intentions unless you tell them. Let the person know that you are ready and interested in a relationship. You should also be willing to hear whether they want the same thing or not.[5]
    • For example, you could say “We’ve been going out for a while, and I know that we both enjoy being around each other. I just wanted to let you know that I'm interested in a serious relationship when the time's right for both of us.”
    EXPERT TIP
    John Keegan

    John Keegan

    Dating Coach
    John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
    John Keegan
    John Keegan
    Dating Coach

    Above all, make sure that you're both on the same page. Be upfront about what you're looking for in a long-term relationship, and evaluate if your goals and lifestyles have long-term compatibility.

  2. Once you agree to be in a relationship, there are certain rules that come with that. The tricky part is that these rules are not the same for every person or couple. You should both sit down and discuss what boundaries you expect to be followed in the relationship.[6]
    • For example, your partner might be okay with staying friends with exes, while that makes you uncomfortable. Discuss both sides and agree on something that makes you both comfortable.
    • Creating boundaries can help you find a happy medium between what makes you and your partner feel comfortable. For example, you might agree that being friends with exes is okay, but constantly communicating with them is crossing the line.
  3. One of the hardest things about a relationship is that both people must be willing to compromise to make it work. That means you will have to do some things that you don’t like, and so will the other person. Keep an open line of communication about the relationship, and make sure that both people are giving and taking.[7]
    • For example, you might both hate doing dishes and laundry. As a compromise, one of you could do dishes, and the other do laundry.
    • Work to keep your lines of communication open throughout the course of your relationship. Unspoken issues may arise and create even larger problems later on if not addressed.
  4. Advertisement
Method 3
Method 3 of 3:

Finding a Partner

PDF download Download Article
  1. Many people jump straight into relationships soon after meeting someone simply because they don't want to be single. While this can fill one of your needs, you have no way of knowing if that person will make you happy in the long run. Instead, reflect on what you want out of a partner and a relationship, and what you find attractive. Think about things like:[8]
    • Do I want to be with someone who is career or family oriented? What do I find attractive in other people? Do I want someone who is spontaneous or predictable?
    • These traits should compliment what you want in a happy life, so don't depend on someone else to fulfill your happiness. Learn how to make yourself happy first.
  2. The best way to meet people that have things in common with you is to go out and do the things you love doing. Inevitably, you will meet someone that enjoys doing the same things. This is a great start to a potential relationship, as you will naturally attract people when you are doing something you enjoy.[9]
    • For example, if you are an avid book reader, you might join a book club for people around your age.
    • There are many organizations and groups from book clubs to adventure clubs that can help you spark a relationship with someone who enjoys similar things.
  3. The friends you already have are likely to have common interests and know other people with interests like your own. Sometimes, a friendship can transition into a relationship easily if there’s an attraction between the two people. Friends can also introduce you to someone that they know and think you’d like.
    • Do not try to force a relationship with a friend. This can lead to a failed relationship and a failed friendship.
  4. Though the internet makes it easy for people to create a false representation of themselves, there are people out there who are looking for genuine relationships. You can explore dating sites and social media to meet people and get to know them.[10]
    • Always be careful when going out with a person you meet on the internet. You should always meet in a safe, public place.
  5. Advertisement

How Do You Get Into a Relationship?


Expert Q&A

Search
Add New Question
  • Question
    What makes a happy relationship?
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    That depends on the person, but there are some things that can you give insight into what kind of relationship is best for you. Start by looking at your past relationships. Make a list of the things you liked and didn't like about your previous relationships, as well as what worked and didn't work. You can even look at good and bad dates to give you an idea of what you'd prefer. That will help you figure out what to look for in a partner and a relationship.
  • Question
    What qualities should a partner have?
    Cher Gopman
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post.
    Cher Gopman
    Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    To discover what you want in your ideal partner, ask yourself what's important in your life. For instance, if you have a hobby or something that takes up a lot of your time, decide whether that's something that you want to include someone else in. Also, think about what you hope your future will be like, as well as what kind of person you think would fit into that. You can also take a personality test. Search online for personality tests and take a few to give you some insight into what you might be looking for and what might be best for you
  • Question
    What do you do with a guy you like in school?
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.
    Paul Chernyak, LPC
    Licensed Professional Counselor
    Expert Answer
    Spend time around him if possible to show interest and get to know him. It's up to him to reciprocate and let you know if he feels the same way.
See more answers
Ask a Question
200 characters left
Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.
Submit
Advertisement

Tips

Submit a Tip
All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published
Name
Please provide your name and last initial
Thanks for submitting a tip for review!
Advertisement

Warnings

Advertisement

You Might Also Like

Have a Healthy RelationshipHave a Healthy Relationship
Have a Long Term RelationshipHave a Long Term Relationship
End a Relationship Break Up with Someone the Right Way
Tell if He Likes You Tell if a Guy Has a Crush on You
Cute Names to Call Your Crush150+ Sweet & Playful Nicknames to Call Your Crush
Conversation Starters for Crush150+ Things to Talk About With Your Crush: Deep, Flirty, & Funny Topics
Body Language of a Man Secretly in Love with You17 Physical Signs Someone Is in Love with You
Signs Your Crush Doesn't Like You Tell if Your Feelings Are Unrequited: Expert Insight
Let Your Crush Know You Like ThemLet Your Crush Know You Like Them
Recognize That You Have a Crush on SomeoneRecognize That You Have a Crush on Someone
How Did You Sleep Reply to “How Did You Sleep?”
Know if a Guy Is Thinking About YouNo Need to Guess! 11 Signs to Know if a Guy Is Thinking About You
Tell That Your Crush Likes You BackTell That Your Crush Likes You Back
Signs a Married Man Likes You but Is Hiding ItClear Signs a Married Man Likes You, According to the Experts
Advertisement

About This Article

Cher Gopman
Co-authored by:
Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Cher Gopman. Cher Gopman is the Founder of NYC Wingwoman LLC, a date coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Cher is a Certified Life Coach, a former psychiatric nurse, and her work has been featured on Inside Edition, Fox, ABC, VH1, and The New York Post. This article has been viewed 961,263 times.
53 votes - 79%
Co-authors: 77
Updated: July 4, 2024
Views: 961,263
Categories: Crushes | Getting a Date
Article SummaryX

If you’ve found someone you want to start a relationship with, spend time with them so you can start building a real connection. This might mean going out on dates, doing activities together, or just hanging out. Have meaningful conversations and ask questions so you can really get to know them. Be consistent, open, and honest with them to help build trust. Once you’ve been seeing each other for a while and you feel comfortable with them, talk to them about making your relationship “official.” If they’re also interested in a relationship, have a chat about your expectations, goals, and boundaries to make sure you’re both on the same page. You might have to compromise on some things, and that’s okay. To learn how to set boundaries in a relationship, keep reading!

Did this summary help you?

Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 961,263 times.

Reader Success Stories

  • Emilee F.

    Emilee F.

    Apr 24

    "I feel like I knew some of the stuff you were saying, but then I was like wow I never thought of it that way, so..." more
    Rated this article:
Share your story

Did this article help you?

Advertisement