This article was co-authored by Samantha Fox, MS, LMFT and by wikiHow staff writer, Luke Smith, MFA. Samantha Fox is a Marriage & Family Therapist in private practice in New York, New York. With over a decade of experience, Samantha specializes in relationship, sexuality, identity, and family conflicts. She also advises on life transitions for individuals, couples, and families. She holds both a Master’s degree and a Marriage and Family Therapy License. Samantha is trained in Internal Family Systems (IFS), Accelerated Experiential Dynamic Psychotherapy (AEDP), Emotion Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Narrative Therapy.
This article has been fact-checked, ensuring the accuracy of any cited facts and confirming the authority of its sources.
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Whether you can’t help but dwell on an embarrassing moment, your brain keeps getting distracted by that cute barista, or you’ve made yourself sick with worry about the future, you’re not alone. Our minds are mysterious things that rarely do as we say, but that doesn’t mean we can't cooperate with them to form healthier patterns of thinking! That’s why we chatted with mental health professionals to bring you a list of expert and research-backed ways of getting your mind off something, so you can move on and find some peace.
Quick Ways to Manage Your Thoughts
- Hang out with a friend or family member, and talk to them about how you're feeling to get an outside perspective.
- Write down your negative thoughts in a journal, and only let yourself think them for 15 minutes a day before moving on.
- Distract yourself with a mentally-stimulating activity, like reading a book, watching a movie, or getting a little exercise.
Steps
Expert Q&A
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QuestionHow do I stop unwanted thoughts in my mind?
Rahti Gorfien, PCCRahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018.
Life CoachInstead of spending all your time alone, ruminating on your obsession, connect with your friends and family. You should also try activities like going for a long walk. Do anything that can disrupt the pattern of thoughts in your head. If you're still having trouble, feel free to seek professional help.
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Tips
Tips from our Readers 
- If obsessive thoughts are really interfering with your life, consider speaking to a professional counselor. They can help manage anxiety or OCD.
- Surround yourself with positive people who build you up. Limit contact with those who treat you poorly or make you feel bad about yourself.
- Focus on taking care of yourself after a breakup or betrayal. Do things that make you feel confident and happy. Don't dwell on the past.
- Find activities that fully engage your mind and divert your attention, like puzzles, reading or learning new skills. Staying busy helps.
- Journaling can help you process obsessive thoughts. Write it all down, then try closing the journal and moving on with your day.
- Trying to forcibly stop thoughts often makes them stronger. Accept the thoughts, then refocus your mind on the present moment.
Expert Interview
Thanks for reading our article! If you’d like to learn more about emotional health, check out our in-depth interview with Rahti Gorfien, PCC.
References
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
- ↑ http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/bothered-by-negative-unwanted-thoughts-just-throw-them-away.html
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
- ↑ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27439375/
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/slowing-down-racing-thoughts-202303132901
- ↑ https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/slowing-down-racing-thoughts-202303132901
- ↑ https://www.helpguide.org/articles/anxiety/how-to-stop-worrying.htm
- ↑ http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0005796704000853
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-forward/201512/what-you-can-do-when-you-cant-stop-thinking-about-something
About This Article
Medical Disclaimer
The content of this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, examination, diagnosis, or treatment. You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
To stop thinking of something or someone, try distracting yourself with something mentally stimulating, like a crossword puzzle or a good book. Alternatively, you can try exercising or playing a sport, which will redirect your focus to your body and release endorphins that boost your mood. If you still can't shake your unwanted thoughts, consider writing them down in a journal or talking about them with a friend since expressing your thoughts can help get them out of your head. You can even try writing your thoughts on a piece of paper and then tossing it in the trash to signal to your brain that you're done thinking about them. For more advice from our Counselor co-author, like how to train yourself to let go of thoughts, read on!
Reader Success Stories
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"After reading this article, it put my mind to practice. While I was thinking about how I was going to start, I was not having unwanted thoughts. I am looking forward to following the advice, and hopefully it will sent me off to sleep."..." more
