How to Take Action if a Guy Calls You Ugly

Co-authored by Donna Novak, Psy.D

Last Updated: April 10, 2024

Unfortunately, if you are a girl, sometimes guys may call you ugly. Nobody likes to be made fun of, right? Chances are, if you lack self esteem, after he says you're ugly, you find yourself wondering if he's right and begin feeling self conscious. Are you going to let him get away with insulting you like that? And are you going to take it seriously?

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Is it one of your best guy friends? And can you tell that he's teasing? Or is it a guy that seems to hate you and insults you on a regular basis? Or is it your evil ex boyfriend or just some random idiot?
If he's saying this to be mean, you can either tell him off or just ignore him.^{[1]
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If you start wondering if the guy was actually kidding, take a look at yourself, especially if this isn't the first time someone has said this. Is there something you are doing to hide your unique feature? Are you always biting your lip? Do you stare at the floor? Do you hide your face with you hair? Remember: everyone is beautiful in their own way, some in the inside, some on the outside, some both. Every has different ideas about beauty. Not everyone sees beauty in the same things. Accept that you will always be judged by some on your looks. It's up to you what they judge you for, a smile,or a frown, someone obviously obsessed with their appearance, or some one having too much fun to worry about how they look.^{[2]
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One comment should not make you completely miserable. Just walk confidently and have fun.
If you understand that "ugly" is a weak and childish insult, then respond in a polite, very adult way. Thank whomever called you ugly, and tell him that he is very kind. Then walk away. It drives people crazy when they can't get a response out of you.
As annoying as pathetic, juvenile behaviour from people who ought to know better is, you won't have to put up with it your whole life.
Sometimes something that makes the person who insulted you laugh, or anyone around laugh at him, can make you feel better. Some suggested comebacks are, 'I'm ugly, you're immature, nobody's perfect". 'Yeah, I'm ugly, I take after my dad - do you even know what your dad looks like?" "Yeah, I'm ugly, guess I missed out on my beauty sleep for a while. What's your excuse?" "Yeah, I'm ugly. It's called acne/a birthmark/Treacher Collins Syndrome/Keloid Scaring/name proudly your condition. Is there a medical term for people who state the blindingly obvious or are they going to name it after you?"

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Tips

Do your best to let it pass. You are a unique individual. Don't believe them if they say that.

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Don't change anything about yourself just because he wants you to, or is implying that you should. Only change for yourself.

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Remember some guys will call you ugly or say you dress weird or something like that because they already have a girlfriend. Obviously they don't want a breakup and they don't want their girlfriend to think they actually like you! This isn't always true though, so be careful! If he's not interested, don't put too much into it, just laugh it off! There's other guys out there that will like you.

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Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

If a guy has a crush on you, he won't call you ugly unless he's immature. If you think it's a way of him letting you know that he likes you, don't go out with him. It indicates he might not be a good match or won't give you compliments.
If a boy teases you every day, just don't answer him back. He wants you to answer back just to the fun out of it. Pretend he's not there, and after a while he will get bored and it should stop.

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Warnings

Sadly, tomboys will hear this a lot. But if you, as a tomboy, like your t-shirts and cutoffs, don't let the guy's comments bother you. To let the comments bother you is just giving him undeserved power.

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