How to Tell Your Ex to Stop Texting You Nicely

Co-authored by Amy Chan

Last Updated: July 8, 2024 References

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Getting unwanted texts from an ex can be tough. You likely still care about them and don't want to see them hurting, but you might also be ready to move on. Thankfully, it's totally acceptable to tell your ex to stop texting you nicely. This article has a helpful list of ways you can break the news, along with some information on when it would be best to use each option.

1

"I don’t feel ready to talk right now. I’ll reach out when I'm comfortable.”

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Try this option if you might want to text later on. If you just broke up recently, you might consider a period of no contact to process the split on your own and deactivate old neural connections that keep you attached to this person. Gently let your ex know that you can't text right now, but will let them know when you feel ready to talk again. This will help clue them in on how you're feeling while also giving you some much-needed time on your own.^{[1]
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- You might also say, "I need some time to process things by myself. I'll let you know when I'm ready to text again."

2

"I think it would be healthier for me if we stopped talking.”

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Let them know if you think texting each other is unhealthy. It's possible that the breakup was pretty rough and you don't have any interest in talking to your ex again. Tell them directly that you aren't interested in talking anymore so that they will get the message and stop texting for good.^{[2]
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- Alternatively, try something like, "It's too hard for me to keep talking. I'm sorry if this hurts, but please stop texting me."

3

"It hurts to hear from you while I'm trying to heal. I need some space before I can be your friend.”

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This option works well if you'd like to be friends down the road. Even if you want to be friends with your ex, you likely need at least a few weeks to process the breakup emotions on your own before you can move on and see them as just a friend. If that's the case, let them know that you need a break from texting each other, at least for a little while.^{[3]
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- You might also try, "I really meant it when I said I wanted to stay in touch, but I think I need some time for myself first. I'd appreciate it if we stopped texting until I feel ready to be friends."

4

"I'm confused by the fact that you keep reaching out. Please stop texting me so I can move forward.”

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If your ex is playing with your emotions, tell them to stop. It's possible that your ex is treating you like their partner one minute and their ex the next. Let them know how their treatment is making you feel and ask that they please stop contacting you so that you can get some peace of mind.^{[4]
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- You can also text, "I'm not sure why you're texting me like this when you ended our relationship. Could you see this from my perspective and please stop contacting me?"

5

"I'm grateful for our time together, but I'm not interested in getting back together.”

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You might have to reject unwanted advances from your ex. To make sure they know that you're not interested, let them know that you do not intend on rekindling your relationship and tell them that you aren't comfortable texting anymore. It may sting to hear this, but they'll likely be grateful to know how you feel directly.^{[5]
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- As an alternative, say, "Our relationship was really special to me, but it's over now. I think we should stop texting so that we can move on."

6

"I’m sorry that you're hurting, but I don't think that we should text anymore. That way, we can both heal.”

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Express compassion for your ex while also asking them to stop texting. If your ex is texting you about how much they miss you or are hurt by what happened, you might consider offering a brief apology or kind message. Follow that with a request that they stop texting you so that you can both put the breakup behind you.^{[6]
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- You can also text, "I completely understand the pain that you're in right now, and I'm sorry. I still think it would be healthiest for us both if we stopped texting."

7

"I appreciate your apology, but I think it would be best if we stopped texting each other.”

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If your ex messed up, they may reach out to apologize (more than once). If that's the case, let them know that you're grateful for their apology but can't keep texting. This will help you get the space that you need and hopefully encourage your ex to forgive themselves and let it go.
- Alternatively, try, "Thank you for your apology. Although it really means a lot, I would like for us to stop texting each other going forward."

8

"I'm in a new relationship, so I think it would make sense for us to stop texting. I wish you well.”

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If you're with someone new, tell your ex so that they'll stop texting. Rather than giving them a lot of information about your relationship, simply let them know that you're dating someone else and would like to stop texting. If you're still on good terms, you might add a kind message to wish them the best going forward.^{[7]
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- You might also say, "I hope you are doing well. I've started seeing someone and it's getting pretty serious. I think it would be best if we stopped texting."

9

"We agreed to stop speaking to each other after the breakup. Please respect my boundaries.”

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Remind your ex to stop texting you if you had an agreement in place. Though you may have already agreed on a no-contact rule, your ex might disregard that if they are really hurting or missing you. Gently let your ex know that you would like to stick to the agreement you already made and refrain from texting each other. Your ex will likely leave you alone after a gentle but firm reminder.^{[8]
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- As another option, try, "I still think the no-contact rule we agreed to was a good idea. Please stop texting me."

10

"Please stop contacting me.”

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Be firm if your ex is sending you rude or unkind messages. No matter what happened in your breakup, no one has the right to harass you. Keep your message brief and direct if you're dealing with disrespectful messages from your ex.^{[9]
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- Other ways you can say this include, "Do not text me anymore" or "I have nothing more to say. Please stop reaching out."

11

Block your ex if they continue to contact you.

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If your ex still won't listen to you, it's perfectly acceptable to block them. Sometimes, an ex just won't listen no matter how many times you ask them to stop texting you. If you're still dealing with their messages after you asked them to stop, or their messages are unkind, block their phone number so that they can't contact you anymore.^{[10]
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- Whether you tell your ex that you plan on blocking their number is up to you. If you want to let them know ahead of time, you might say, "I've asked you to stop contacting me many times now. I'm blocking your number to get the space I need. I hope you understand."

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Tips

As tough as it may be, try to let your ex know directly that you don't want to text anymore. Avoiding the subject and letting them continue to text you may make both of you feel worse.^{[11]
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Remember that it's never rude or unkind to tell your ex to stop texting you. You have every right to ask for space, especially after a difficult breakup.

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