This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.
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It isn't always easy to tell whether a girl has a crush[1] on you. Some girls are very obvious about it and flirt, giggle, and blush whenever they're around you. Other girls are more shy and more subtle about revealing their true feelings. Still, no matter what kind of girl you're dealing with, there are a number of sure-fire signs that the girl is crushing on you. Whether you have a crush on the girl and want to know if she returns your feelings, or just want to know if a girl in your class or social circle likes you, you can find out by following these steps.
Things You Should Know
- Catching her staring at you is the biggest sign she has a crush. Look for other telltale cues like blushing, giggling, or making excuses to be together.
- Listen carefully to what she says—if she asks you about your crushes or talks about how she wants a boyfriend, she’s dropping you some hints.
- The best way to know for sure is to just ask her! Speak calmly and play it cool whether she has a crush on you or not.
Steps
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Try to catch her staring at you. This one is a giveaway. If you look across the room in class or at a party and catch her looking right at you, then she may have a crush on you. If she sees that you've noticed her staring and looks away and blushes, or gives you a little smile, then she may be acknowledging that she may like you.[2]
- Just don't be too obvious about trying to catch her staring at you, or she may think that you're the one staring at her.
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See if she blushes around you – a lot. This is another sign that she may have a crush on you. If every time you walk by or talk to her, you find her turning red or getting flustered, then this may be a sign that she likes you and is shy and embarrassed about talking to you or saying the wrong thing.[3] If you do see her blushing, don't tease her about it or mention it, or that may scare her off from talking to you.
- Just make sure she's not the kind of girl who blushes whenever she talks to anyone – she could just be shy.
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See if she giggles a lot around you. A lot of girls giggle a lot around the people they like because crushes make them feel a bit giddy around the person that they like. If you find the girl always giggling or laughing a lot around you, even if you've barely said anything funny, then she may like you. She could just be feeling giggly because she likes you, or she could really think that everything you say is funny because she has a big crush on you.[4]
- Next time you talk to her, see how much she laughs. Try a small joke and see if she laughs way too much -- this may mean that she has feelings for you.
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See how her friends act when she passes by. A girl's friends can tell you a lot about how she feels about you without saying much. Next time the girl walks by with her friends in the halls, see if the friends giggle when they see you, elbow her, or just nod in your direction, trying to tell the girl that you're around. This is a not-so-subtle way of letting you know that the girl may have a crush on you.
- If the girl's friends always greet you with a knowing smile, then they may be telling you that the girl likes you.
- This step may not apply if you and your crush are both girls – she could still be in the closet and not want to draw attention to the possibility of her liking a girl.
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See if she looks for excuses to hang out. If the girl has a crush on you, then she may want to be around you as much as possible. If she likes you, she may be looking for excuses to hang out, like asking for help with her math homework, or even asking you to see a movie or to go to a concert with you.[5] She could be very casual when she asks you to hang out to hide the fact that she likes you.
- If you're in the same social circle, but she's been around a lot more lately, then it may be because she has a crush on you.
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See if she pays more attention to her looks around you. If the girl dresses up a bit more whenever she's around you and pays more attention to her hair and makeup, then she may be trying to impress you. If you're just hanging out with her, or hanging out in a small group, but she spends a lot of time putting on lipstick or lip balm, looking at herself in the mirror, or just fidgeting with her clothes, then she may be trying to impress you.
- If you see her unexpectedly, and she's dressed down a lot more, then she may be dressing up to impress you.
- If you see her at the grocery store or somewhere unexpected, and she makes a joke about how casual she looks, then she may be embarrassed that she's not more dressed up for you.
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Notice her body language. The girl's body language can say a lot about how she feels about you. If she's always making eye contact, leaning closer to you, and turning her body to you when you talk, then she may like you. Here are some other things to look for:[6]
- If she plays with her hair when she talks to you, then this may mean that she's nervous because she likes you.
- If she shifts her weight from foot to foot, she may be a bit nervous about talking to you too.
- If she breaks eye contact and looks at the floor once in a while, it may be because she likes you.
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See how she acts around other people. This is an important point. You may think the girl likes you, but it could turn out that she's flirty, talkative, and playful around many people. Some girls just have a lot of crushes at once, or just like hanging out with guys -- some even prefer hanging out with guys to hanging out with girls. You may be misreading the signs and thinking a really friendly girl has a crush on you.
- Check out how the girl acts around other people. If she's the same way with everyone, then it's just part of her personality.
- If she treats you differently, however, and pays more attention to you -- or less attention, because she feels shy about talking to you -- then she may have a crush on you.
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See if she teases you. If the girl teases you, then it's another sign that she has a crush on you. Teasing can be a form of flirting, and it's her way of letting you know she has a crush on you while being playful.[7] If she teases you, then she'll make fun of your clothes, playfully push or shove you, or even make fun of your hair or new shoes. Don't be offended -- this is just her way to let you know that she's paying attention to you.[8]
- See if she teases everyone, or just you. If she teases everyone, then she may just be a playful person. But if it's just you, then you're special to her.
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Notice if she compliments you. If the girl is always giving you complements, then there's a good chance she has a crush on you. If she tells you she likes your new shoes, that she liked your history presentation, or that you did great in the baseball game though all you did was strike out, then yeah, she probably has a crush on you. If a girl has a crush on you, she'll like every little thing you do, and she may not be afraid to tell you about it.
- See if she's the type of girl who is just really nice and gives everyone compliments, or if she only says flattering things to you. Who knows -- maybe she's just really, really nice. But probably not.
- If she compliments a new shirt or a new haircut, that means she notices when your wardrobe or looks change, which already is a strong sign that she has a crush on you.
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See if she looks for every excuse to talk to you. If a girl has a crush on you, then she'll try to talk to you as much as she can -- unless she's really shy. If you don't have many mutual friends or other reasons to be around each other, she may come up and ask you an obvious question, like something about the math homework that she could have easily asked another friend. She may even call or text you to ask an obvious question, hoping it could lead to more conversation.
- If she likes you, she may even try to talk to you about something she know that you love, like a sport or favorite TV show. She could come up to you just to ask if you saw last night's game or to ask what you thought about the season finale of your favorite show. She could share your interests too, of course, but she could also be using them as an excuse to talk to you.
- Reader Poll: We asked 798 wikiHow readers, and 48% of them agreed that the best way to help a shy or introverted girl feel more comfortable is by giving her time and space to open up. [Take Poll]
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Notice if she asks if you like anyone. The girl may think she's being subtle when she asks if you like anyone, or when she asks you if you're going out with any girls this weekend, or asks if you have a crush on a specific girl, but you'll be able to see right through her. If she's asking if you have a crush on anyone, she's really asking, "Do you like me?"
- There's only one other possibility – she could be asking if you like anyone because one of her friends like you and she's acting as a go-between.
- If you tell her you don't like anyone, and she says something like, "How can you not like anyone?" "You must like someone..." Then she really wants you to tell her that you like her.
- Even the fact that she takes any interest in your love life could show that she has romantic feelings for you.
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Notice what she says about any girls or guys you hang out with. Does she subtly try to put down the other people you hang out with? Does she mention that any people you've dated in the past aren't good enough for you? If so, then what she's really saying is that she thinks she's the one for you. If she puts down anyone you hang out with, or even anyone she just sees you talking to in the halls, then she's just jealous that she doesn't have all of your attention.
- It's okay for her to be jealous before you start dating -- just make sure it isn't a problem if she does end up being your girlfriend.
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See if she hints that she wants a partner. She may think she's just dropping a hint, but if she often says things like, "It would be cool to have a girlfriend," or "being single is so not fun," or "I wish I had a guy to go to the movies with," then she's basically asking you to be her partner. If she's always making subtle comments about how much she wants to date someone, that person is you.
- There's only one other option -- that she wants to date one of your friends. But if she never asks about any of your friends, then chances are that she has her eye on you.
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See what she says about other guys. If all she says about other guys is that this or that guy isn't good enough, or that he isn't nearly as great as you, then she's basically saying that she has a crush on you. She may even say that she wished this or that guy possessed a certain quality -- one that you have.
- If she says she wishes that a guy she went on a date with had a better sense of humor and she always praises your sense of humor, then she's basically telling you that she wants to date you.
- If she's always comparing you favorably to other guys, then she's letting you know that she likes you more than any other guy around.
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See if she calls or texts you a lot. If she's always texting you or calling you, then chances are that she has a crush on you. If she sends you a lot of cute smiley face emoticons, or calls you just to say "hi" or for a dumb excuse like asking for the homework for a class that she could get from anyone, then she's just looking for reasons to talk to you.[9]
- If she texts you a smiley face or just a word like "hehe," then she's probably flirting with you.
- If she really likes you, she'll start mimicking your texting style. Maybe you have a certain emoticon (such as this one: (°^°)") you always use. If she starts using this all the time out of the blue, she either has a crush on you or considers you a close friend.
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Ask your friends. Your first resource should be your own buddies. Ask your friends if they've seen you and the girl together and ask their honest opinion about whether the girl has a crush on you. Your friends may have more perspective on whether the girl actually likes you, or if she's just playful and flirtatious with everyone. Ask them to be honest -- if they don't think she likes you, they should let you know.
- Your friends may also know if the girl likes someone else instead of you. This could be helpful information before you try talking to the girl yourself.
- Just try not to ask anyone too chatty, or a person who is very friendly with the girl. If you do, they may tell her that you asked, and they'll blow your cover.
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Ask her friends. Asking the girl's friends if she likes you is basically as good as asking her yourself. But if you really trust one of her friends and don't think she'll report back to her friend, then go ahead and ask if the girl has a crush on you. Her friend will mostly likely know whether or not she likes you -- it'll just be a matter of whether or not she'll tell you.
- Don't make a big deal about it. Don't reveal your feelings about the girl.
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Ask her. If you like the girl too and want to know her true feelings, don't be afraid to ask. Just find a time when you're both relatively alone and in a quiet place, and ask her if she has a crush on you. If you like her, you can even tell her first that you have a crush on her and want to know if she likes you too. Just speak calmly, make eye contact, and give her all of your attention to let her know she's important. But don't make it seem like too much of a big deal or you may scare her away.
- If she does admit she has a crush on you and you like her, then ask her out on a date and see where it takes you.
- If she says she doesn't have a crush on you, react the right way. Don't get all upset or offended -- just play it cool and show her what a great person you are.
Expert Q&A
Video
Tips
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If you want to tell a girl you like her or ask her if she does, some girls wouldn't like it if you confront them about it during lunch or class. Try somewhere more private.Thanks
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If you like her back and if the girl's shy, you may have to make the first move.Thanks
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Don't act like she's from another planet. Don't ignore her completely, either. Her heart will probably break.Thanks
Tips from our Readers
- Be a bit more obvious, though not overly so, about your affections for her. Show her that you pay her more attention than you do other girls.
- Keep in mind that many girls actually avoid the guys they like because they're nervous about being giggly or bashful around you.
- Don't be too clingy! Try to give her some space—that way, she'll be able to miss you.
- Don't overdo things! Do your best to be casual in every approach.
References
- ↑ https://kidshealth.org/en/kids.html?ref=search
- ↑ https://www.thisisinsider.com/signs-someone-has-a-crush-on-you-2018-2
- ↑ https://carta.anthropogeny.org/moca/topics/emotional-flushing-blushing
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/moral-landscapes/201410/ten-signs-love
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
- ↑ https://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a21238909/teasing-crush/
- ↑ John Keegan. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.
About This Article
If you're trying to figure out if a girl has a crush on you, start by paying attention to her actions and behavior around you. For example, if you catch her staring at you frequently, there's a good chance she's crushing on you. She may also blush whenever you're around or giggle when you talk to her. If her friends giggle or elbow her whenever you're around, that usually means she likes you and all of her friends are aware of it! Also, pay attention to how she talks to you. If she has a crush on you, she might lightly tease you, give you compliments, or lean closer to you when you're chatting. Looking for excuses to hang out is another giveaway. She might casually ask you for help with her math homework or invite you to check out a movie or concert with her sometime. For tips on asking her about her feelings, read on!
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