How to Think Like a Man

Reviewed by John Keegan

Last Updated: December 22, 2023 Fact Checked

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus, it is little wonder that these two genders have a hard time understanding what the other thinks. Boys and girls are typically brought up in different ways, and that can make a huge difference in their patterns of mind by the time they reach adulthood. If you are trying to better understand the perspective of a man, or if you're just looking for a fun thought experiment, here are some ideas to consider.

Method 1

Method 1 of 2:

Thinking Like a Man at Work

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Men value the feelings and thoughts of those close to them, but tend to worry less about coworkers and acquaintances. Women, however, expect openness, equality, and honesty from anyone they spend significant time with, including coworkers. In the standard hierarchical workplace, this will lead to disappointment and confusion for women.
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Speak up. Whether you’re at a departmental meeting or briefing a small team, express yourself to the group. Men tend to speak more often in large groups to preserve social standing and demonstrate verbal ability. Tell a story, a joke, or present a report to demonstrate your oratory skill and command of the facts.^{[1]
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- While women are typically thought of as great communicators, they communicate in a way that facilitates friendship. In a competitive workplace, this can be detrimental. When speaking, men take fewer pauses^{[2]
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  Research source} and are less concerned with how their listeners feel.
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Men find it easy to set feelings aside in order to make practical decisions based on facts alone. Women, by contrast, tend to make decisions based on how people will feel and their own intuition.^{[3]
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Research source} Use charts, graphs, and hard data when making a business decision.
From an early age, people are taught that math, science, and technology are masculine while the arts are feminine. Challenge the notion that your gender is an impediment to your STEM abilities. Read up on science news, catch an episode of Cosmos, and try out new geeky gadgets, games, and apps.^{[4]
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Research source}If you're a student, enroll in a science or math class.
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Acknowledge your limits and abilities. Whether it’s a project you don’t feel comfortable taking on or a small favor a coworker asks you to do, say no if you can’t do it – or just don’t want to. Men have think nothing of turning down excessive assignments. On the other hand, if you are interested in a raise, a new position at your company, or greater responsibility, tell your supervisor explicitly that you're interested.^{[5]
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Research source} Don’t be afraid of being seen as demanding or pushy.
- Women often have a hard time saying no to additional responsibilities because they don’t want to be thought of as lazy and are genuinely more inclined to help others than men are. To think like a man, overcome these tendencies and realize that saying no is a sign of strength and self-respect, not laziness.
- Men believe they deserve the salaries and raises they seek.^{[6]
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  Research source} Be assertive and believe in yourself when thinking about whether to pursue a raise or negotiate your salary. Act with a sense of entitlement.

Method 2

Method 2 of 2:

Thinking Like a Man at Play

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1
Communicate openly and honestly. Women often dance around a topic or express themselves in more subtle ways than men. Men, by comparison, are more likely to state their thoughts directly and promptly. Share whatever is on your mind in an unambiguous way. Don’t drop hints about a problem or issue. Be direct and say exactly what you’re thinking and feeling.^{[7]
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- Be honest with yourself as well as your partner. If you are interested in taking your relationship to the next level, let your partner know. Alternately, if you want to keep things casual, make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
- Men tend to speak less in private than in public. Try to build rapport with others by doing things rather than talking about things.
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Exercise your spatial skills. Men are better than women at envisioning and remembering objects or new spaces. This is because male brains have a thinner parietal region (the area of the brain that processes visual information).^{[8]
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- Crafting a model, building a Lego kit, or playing a sport like soccer will help you think more spatially. You could also try drawing a map of a place you are familiar with.
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Don’t worry, be happy. Men and women both worry, but women are more likely to continue worrying long after men have stopped. To think like a man, let go of small relationship issues, family matters, or troubles at the work place that you cannot solve.^{[10]
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- To worry less, set aside a designated time for your worries. Cut back on your internet surfing and try to get more exercise. You might also to find something that requires active engagement to distract you, like reading a book or painting a picture.^{[11]
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Prove your independence. While people like to feel desired, it's also good for them to know that their partner can care for themselves. Men are reared to act and think independently.^{[12]
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Research source} Demonstrating that you can take care of yourself at work and in your social life will boost your self-confidence and let others know you are a capable, independent person.
- Financial security can go a long way to feeling independent and living an independent life. Women are often expected to provide only a supplementary income and focus on children while their male partner acts as primary breadwinner.^{[13]
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  Research source}> Create a solid financial foundation for yourself to build an independent life.
If your first instinct is to yell, weep, or storm out in a huff – don’t. Count patiently to ten and try to come at the conversation or problem a different way. Women have more brain circuitry devoted to expressing and remembering emotions, so tamping down on the emotional instinct is an important step to thinking like a man.^{[14]
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Touch can express feelings in ways words often can’t. Compared with women, men have more twice as much brain space allotted to sexual thoughts.^{[15]
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Research source} Physical affection is a good way to make your intentions clear and show you love your partner.
Women tend to fixate on and recall small moments that men do not. Things like fights, offhand comments, or potential slights go unnoticed or quickly forgotten by men. Try not to obsess over negative experiences, and be willing to let things go.^{[16]
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Focus less on your appearance. Women are surrounded with pervasive messages that they need to look perfect. Men are not bombarded with the same kind of pressure to conform to a superficial standard of beauty, and tend to have better body image as a result.^{[17]
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Research source} To think more like a man, learn to accept your appearance or body. Don’t fret over your imperfections.
- Stand in front of the mirror with your feet apart and declare to yourself "I’m awesome.” Do this every day until you believe it.

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Do I really have to think like a man if I am one?

Brian Salazar-Prince

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It is difficult to say how a man should think or act. Masculinity is culturally-defined; it means something different to a black man, a Chinese woman, and an aboriginal person living in Australia. Focus less on labels and more on your identity. You're you... think like a you.

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How would I get over a heartbreak?

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The best way to get over a heartbreak is to distract yourself from your sadness. Do something with your friends, learn something you always wanted to or do something that makes you happy.

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Tips

The brain is extremely plastic. Over time, you can change any or all of your attitudes, beliefs, and mental tendencies.^{[18]
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Hormones play a key role in determining male and female thought patterns and behavior.^{[19]
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Warnings

There is no right way to think like a man. Individual men are extremely variable over time and space. Remember not to stereotype the way men think.

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