50+ Good Alternatives to "Thinking of You at This Difficult Time"

Find the right words to say when someone you care about is going through hardship

Co-authored by Ali Garbacz, B.A. Reviewed by Seth Hall

Last Updated: November 16, 2023

It can be extremely hard to watch someone struggle through a difficult time. It can be even harder to find the right words to send and let them know that you are there for them and are ready to help in any way possible. We’ve gathered a ton of example messages that you can send to anyone you know who may be going through a hard time to let them know that you’re keeping them in your thoughts.

1

“Just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”

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Take the lead and reach out to them. It can be difficult for someone to open up about their problems and any difficulties they may be going through. Reach out and remind your friend or loved one that you're there and available to talk whenever they're ready. Let them share as much or as little as they feel comfortable with.^{[1]
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- “Hey, how’ve you been lately?”
- “I saw your most recent post online and just wanted to ask if everything is okay?”
- “I heard about what happened. How are you feeling?”
- “I remember you telling me that these next few weeks were going to be stressful for you. I just wanted to ask how you’re doing and see if there was anything I could do to help.”

2

“I can’t imagine what you’re going through.”

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Acknowledge their feelings. To someone who may be dealing with a loss, a sickness in their family, or even just stress, offer them your sympathy even if you can’t fully relate to their situation. You don’t need to offer a solution that will magically take away all of their pain and hardships. What’s most important is making an effort to understand how they feel and making it clear that their feelings are valid.^{[2]
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- “I’m sad that you’re in so much pain right now.”
- “You’re in such a tough situation.”
- “I bet you’re feeling so frustrated right now.”
- “This must be such a difficult time for you and your family.”

3

“I’m always here to listen.”

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Offer them a safe space where they can be open and honest. Knowing that there will be someone there to listen to them and hear about what they’re going through can be a huge comfort to someone who is going through stressful times. Provide them a space where they can simply vent their frustrations and pain without fear of being judged or misunderstood.
- “There’s no way for me to completely understand what you’re going through, but I’ll always be here to listen to whatever you have to say.”
- “I can’t offer much advice, but I am a good listener. If you ever want to talk, I’ll be here.”
- “You can always tell me anything that’s on your mind. I won’t judge.”
- “I’m not the best at giving comforting words, but I’m always ready to listen.”

4

“Let me know if there’s anything you need.”

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Make yourself available to help them in any way they may need. For someone who is finding it hard to continue as they once had after a sudden death or after receiving some particularly stressful news, let them know that you are open to trying anything that may help them. Rather than immediately jumping into problem solving mode, let them come to you with ways they feel you can support them.^{[3]
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- “What can I do to help?”
- “Is there anything I can do to make this easier for you?”
- “What can I do to take some of this burden off of your shoulders?”
- “Whatever you may need, just ask. Nothing is ever too much.”

5

“You’re not alone in this.”

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Remind them that there will always be someone there to support them. If your loved one is dealing with the death of someone close to them, remind them that they have the support of all the people that care for them. It hurts even more when you feel like you’re suffering alone. Remind them just how much they’re loved and how many people are ready to help them get through these hard times.
- “You know your friends and I will always have your back, right? Whatever you need, we’ll be here.”
- “Your family will support you no matter what. They’re such kind and understanding people, I know they’ll be there for you.”
- “You have so many people who love and cherish you. Don’t feel like you have to take on everything by yourself.”
- “You’re carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders right now. Let each of us take some of it from you. We’ll get through this together.”

6

“You’re going to get through this. You have before.”

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Reassure them with realistic examples and scenarios. If your loved one is going through really stressful times at work or school, remind them of how they always persisted in the past and give them hope with real examples of when they were able to work things out.^{[4]
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- “I know you. You’re such a strong person, and I know that you’re capable of getting through this.”
- “There’s help available, we’ll find it together.”
- “You’ve gone through times like this before and have always come out the other side even stronger. This time won’t be any different.”
- “You’ve always found a way even when it seemed like there was none.”

7

“Take care of yourself.”

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Remind them to put themselves first sometimes. Give them a gentle reminder to think about their own needs even during these difficult times, and to not let their grief or sorrow take away from their own health. Let them know that it’s not selfish of them to prioritize their own well-being, both physical and mental.
- “Don’t forget to eat and drink lots of water.”
- “I know this is a hard time, but please make sure to prioritize your health and well-being.”
- “It’s okay to take a break. You’ve been working non-stop for the last few days and deserve at least a little bit of rest.”
- “I was thinking about getting take-out tonight. Have you eaten today? Maybe we can have dinner together.”

8

“Just know that you did your best.”

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Offer them reassurance when they begin to doubt themselves. If someone you care about just was rejected from their dream job, offer them encouraging words that highlight their strengths instead of pointing out their faults. Nobody is perfect and everyone makes mistakes, but it’s important to focus on what we did well even when it seems like there is nothing.
- “This isn’t your fault. You did everything you could, so please don’t blame yourself.”
- “You’re doing your best, so be proud of what you’ve accomplished so far even if it doesn’t feel like much.”
- “There are so many amazing things about you, I could probably spend an hour just listing them all off to you.”
- “You’ve worked so hard. Even if it didn’t turn out how you wanted, you should be proud of your effort.”

9

“You’re so incredibly important to me.”

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Tell them how much they mean to you. Sometimes all someone needs to hear is that they’re loved and appreciated. Be honest with your feelings. Even if it feels like you might be saying too much, think about how you would feel if your friend or loved one were to tell you the same things. Maybe you know someone who is going through a really bad breakup. In that case, put yourself in their shoes and tell them what you would want to be told.^{[5]
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- “You’re one of my best friends and I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
- “I admire you so much for your strength and persistence even when things get tough. You inspire me everyday to try even harder and not settle for anything less.”
- “I know I don’t say it nearly enough, but I love you.”
- “You’re such a light in my life. Knowing that I have someone like you in my life is such an immense comfort. You’ll never know just how much you’ve done for me by just being you.”

10

“This too shall pass” - Abraham Lincoln

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Send a quote that can inspire and motivate them. Whether it’s a quote that will give them hope when they’re faced with a sickness in the family, or a few words of wisdom to motivate them to keep pushing through the most stressful time at their job, adding a quote on top of your own sincere message is another way to provide comfort.^{[6]
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- “If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.” - Martin Luther King Jr.
- “Where there is no struggle, there is no strength.” - Oprah Winfrey
- “The past is gone, the future is not here, now I am free of both. Right now, I choose joy.” - Deepak Chopra
- “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” - A.A. Milne
- “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” - Helen Keller

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Tips

Avoid saying anything that minimizes what the person is going through, like "Pick yourself up by the bootstraps."

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A lot of times people struggle to sit in silence with a friend who is going through a difficult time. Sometimes, there is nothing good to say, and a hug is all that's needed.

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