7 Reasons Why a Girl Might Unsend a Message

Co-authored by Kristina Mirgorodskaya and Hannah Madden

Last Updated: July 3, 2024 Fact Checked

Were you messaging a girl, only to find that the last message she sent has disappeared? Now that the unsend feature has rolled out on most social media platforms, it can pose a lot of questions: why did she unsend her message? And how, exactly, do you restart the conversation? In this article, we’ll tell you the possible reasons why a girl might have unsent her message, as well as some ways you can ask her about it.

1

She didn’t mean to message you.

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Maybe she sent you a message that was actually meant for a friend, or maybe she meant to message a different person with your same name. With the unsend feature, she might have just quickly removed the message so she wouldn’t have to explain her mistake. ^{[1]
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2

She’s fixing spelling or grammar issues.

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Maybe she made a typo that changed her whole message. While some spelling or grammar mistakes are okay, others will change the meaning of your message entirely. Give her a few minutes and see if she sends the message again—if she does, it was probably just an error on her part.^{[2]
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- Some people are also just sticklers for grammar. If she sent you a message and then realized her mistake, she might be too much of a perfectionist to leave it alone.

3

She’s adjusting her message.

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She might reread her message and realize it’s not what she wanted to say. Have you ever sent something that sounded super serious or mean when you didn’t want it to be? If she reread her message and realized that it sounded a bit harsh, she might be adding in a few smiley faces or an “LOL” to convey that she’s joking.^{[3]
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Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

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- For instance, maybe you two are flirting with each other and she sent something like, “I’d never hang out with your ugly mug.” On its own, that can sound a little mean—but adding a winky face or a heart eyes emoji will show you that she’s just messing around.

4

She regrets something she said.

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She may have said something emotional in her message. Maybe she reread it and doesn’t want to send it anymore, or maybe she’d rather talk to you about it in person. People unsend messages if they feel a little awkward or embarrassed about them, so it could be the reason why she unsent hers.^{[4]
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Trustworthy Source

Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

Go to source} She might have also sent something a little forward, and then felt weird about it later on.
- She could have also messaged you something while she was drunk, and then unsent it in the morning. Drunk messages usually aren’t fun to read the next day, and she might be feeling silly or embarrassed about it.

5

She’s annoyed that you didn’t respond sooner.

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Many people feel snubbed if you’re active online without responding. If you’re messaging each other on Instagram or Facebook, she might have seen you comment on someone else’s post or watch her Story instead of responding. Unsending her message could be her way of letting you know that she’s upset.
- The best way to know for sure is just to ask! Say something like, “Hey, why’d you unsend your message?”
- If she was angry that you were online without responding, try to respond a little faster next time.

6

She thinks you aren’t interested anymore.

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If you wait too long to reply, she might assume the worst. While it’s not necessary to message her back at lightning speed, if you leave her on read or don’t open her message for a long time, she might just assume that you’ve moved on. Try to respond to her in a timely manner so this doesn’t happen again.
- You can also let her know if you’re going to be busy. Send her something like, “Hey, work is super swamped right now so I won’t be able to message you until I get off. Talk to you later.”

7

She asked a question, then found the answer.

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She may have unsent her message because it’s irrelevant now. Maybe she Googled the answer herself, or she asked someone else. She probably unsent her message because she didn’t need you to reply.
- She might also follow up with something like, “Nvm, found the answer. Thanks!”

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Tips

The best way to find out why she unsent her message is just to ask her. That way, you can start the conversation again and get a solid explanation from her. It can be easy for miscommunication to happen over text.^{[5]
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