Why Are Virgos So Hard to Date? 11 Must-Know Truths About Dating a Virgo

Co-authored by Jessica Lanyadoo and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: December 7, 2024 Fact Checked

VIDEO

Virgos are known for being hard to date, but is it possible to make a relationship work? Although Virgos might not come across as very exciting or emotional, they're very sensitive and caring once you get to know them.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} Keep reading to figure out what makes a Virgo tick and how you can hit it off with a Virgo who's caught your eye.

1

They’re brutally honest.

Download Article

Virgos are very direct and their blunt commentary might sting. It's just not in their nature to sugar-coat things! Virgos speak their mind and they're usually blunt when they do. They don't like to waste time or effort, which is why they get right to the point.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- It's really easy to take their criticism personally, but it can help to remind yourself that they're not trying to hurt your feelings. Going forward you could say something like, "I know you mean well, but I feel a little attacked when you tell me I don't know how to do something."

2

They keep their feelings hidden.

Download Article

Virgos are emotionally distant and difficult to read.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} You've probably heard that Virgos are the coldest sign of the zodiac. That's not really fair. Virgos keep their emotions to themselves for fear of being vulnerable and getting hurt. They will share their feelings once they're comfortable with you.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- The best thing you can do is give them time to get to know you.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Jessica Lanyadoo
  Astrologer & Psychic Medium
  
  Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} Don't push them or force them to tell you how they're feeling or they may close off even more.

3

They’re overly sensitive.

Download Article

Their tendency to take everything personally can cause conflict. You may be surprised to find that you've hurt their feelings since Virgos are so emotionally reserved. However, just because they don't show their emotions doesn't mean they're not extremely sensitive. They find fault easily and they take things personally!
- You might be wondering how you can reassure a Virgo. Letting them know you appreciate them can really go a long way in making them feel valued. This is an instant emotional boost for most Virgos.

4

They analyze everything.

Download Article

Virgos constantly overthink, which makes them fussy and anxious.^{[6]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} This sign is ruled by logic, not emotions. You'll find that your Virgo has to have all the facts and options before making even the simplest decision. Even then, they might continue to dwell on the decision they've made. This can be a hard trait if you're a spontaneous, laid-back person.
- Although they're pragmatic, Virgos can also be inconsistent. This is because they tend to overthink while they're in the middle of a project which can make them second-guess themselves.
- It is possible to help your Virgo act on impulse. Encourage them to come out with you on the spur of the moment and show them that sometimes it's fun not knowing what's going to happen.

Quiz

wikiHow Quiz: What Zodiac Sign Should I Date?

According to astrology, one zodiac sign is your ultimate dream date. Once you know which sign that is, you can stop searching, and start kicking it with your soulmate.

1 of 12

If my partner did this, I would be thrilled:

Showed up at my house with snacks and a map. Road trip time!

Cleaned the whole house as a surprise—acts of service are key.

Gave me my space when I asked for it. Independence is so important.

Listened to me vent about my problems. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on!

5

They’re obsessed with order.

Download Article

Virgos can't get comfortable unless they're in control. This sign is ruled by reason, so it's no surprise that your Virgo takes planning to a whole new level. They probably feel like they have to plan and organize everything or everyone around them. This behavior also shows up when your Virgo insists on having a neat and tidy place.
- Recognize that Virgos plan because it makes them feel comfortable. Disorganization and chaos really bother a Virgo!
- If you feel like a Virgo is controlling, ask yourself if you feel like the relationship is really working. It's fine to organize, but they still need to respect you and your decisions.

6

They move slowly in a relationship.

Download Article

Virgos move at their own pace and refuse to be rushed.^{[7]
X
Expert Source

Jessica Lanyadoo
Astrologer & Psychic Medium

Expert Interview. 12 November 2019.} A Virgo probably won't go out of their way to flirt or ask you out. They definitely leave it to you to initiate a relationship, but you still might not know where you stand or know if the relationship is going anywhere.^{[8]
X
Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.}
- Don't take this personally—Virgos are notoriously slow and steady in relationships. However, they can become super loyal and steadfast once they decide to commit to the relationship.

7

They're overly critical.

Download Article

Virgos are judgmental—they may even try to fix you. You may wonder why a Virgo is with you in the first place when all they seem to do is criticize or expect things. This is just their nature! They're the perfectionists of the zodiac, so they want you to be your best self.
- It's totally alright to tell your Virgo that their "helpful" comments are actually hurting your feelings. They may honestly have no idea that what they were saying could be negative.
- For instance, you might say, "I know you mean well, but when you tell me that I look messy, it actually hurts my feelings."

8

They get stressed easily.

Download Article

Virgos have a hard time relaxing, so you may feel anxious around them. A Virgo's mind is constantly racing—analyzing past conversations, making plans for the future, figuring out the rest of their day, you name it! It's incredibly hard for them to simply stop working or doing something in order to hang out.
- Virgos are often working for others, so they may feel like all the work they do is for you.
- It is possible for Virgos to chill out. You can help them by encouraging them to take breaks and telling them that they deserve a night off.

9

They expect you to give in.

Download Article

Conflict with a Virgo is frustrating because they always think they're right. Virgos need your respect and they like being right. This is a sign that can really hold a grudge. Virgos feel deep down that they're right, so they expect you to recognize this. If you're having an argument, they probably expect you to defer to their ideas and way of thinking.^{[9]
X
Expert Source

Stina Garbis
Psychic Astrologer

Expert Interview. 10 December 2021.}
- While it's alright to change your own mind, you shouldn't feel forced to always to give up your opinions for the sake of your Virgo.
- Wondering what Virgos have to say about their personality? Check out the wikiHow forum post, "What's the true personality of a Virgo?"

10

They’re very conservative.

Download Article

Their traditional viewpoint can feel a bit stiff and old-fashioned. These aren't the people that you casually hook up—they want to be courted! Keep in mind that while they want your attention, they want it to be personal. Don't make a huge deal or put your Virgo in the spotlight. They'd rather you do make thoughtful intimate gestures to show you're interested.^{[10]
X
Research source}
- For instance, instead of getting up on stage and asking the person out, write the Virgo a sweet note to ask them out.
- Take things slow when it comes to getting physical with your Virgo. Chances are, they aren't ready to rush into a physical relationship unless they know you're committed to them.

11

They're clingy.

Download Article

Once a Virgo commits, they need a lot of attention and reassurance. If a Virgo decides that you're the one, be prepared for their complete attention and devotion. If you're also into the Virgo, this is great! However, you might feel like they're more committed to the relationship than you are, and you may end up feeling a bit smothered.
- If you don't think you can thrive with a Virgo's routine and habits, you may not be a great match. You might tell them something like, "I think I need a little more spontaneity in my life."
- If you're having concerns about your relationship, it's really important to communicate them to your Virgo. Otherwise, they'll analyze and overthink every interaction you have.

Join the Discussion...

What's the true personality of a Virgo?

43

WikiDolphinChaser917

I'm a Virgo, but I'm curious what other people's perception of this zodiac sign are and if they feel accurate to my experience. So, what is your... Read More

2

WikiCheetahRunner104

Virgo here. We are total sweethearts, I promise, but we can come off cold and like know-it-alls. Virgos are not emotionally closed off, but they... Read More

Angel Eyedealism
Astrologer & Performance Artist

Virgo is staid and careful and cautious. Virgo is a very what I call "user-friendly" sign: if it's practical, they'll do it. Otherwise, they're g... Read More