How to Write a Personal Ad

Co-authored by Vikas Agrawal

Last Updated: July 12, 2023 References

Writing a personal ad can be nerve-racking if you don't know where to begin. You may feel the need to hide your flaws lest you will scare off that special someone. Or maybe you’re comfortable with yourself and have no scruples about baring it all. Unfortunately, neither approach is advisable. Understanding how to write a personal ad means finding a happy medium, and thinking carefully about your ad can help you find the person who’s right for you. Keep reading to learn how to write a great personal ad, with some examples for reference.

Part 1

Part 1 of 2:

Writing the Ad

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Solicit descriptions of yourself from third parties. Sometimes it is hard to see ourselves as others do. Your friends and family can be a great help to you when trying to describe yourself. Ask them what they think your best qualities are, and what they see as your unique talents.^{[1]
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Research source} Naturally, they’re not going to be totally objective, but neither will you. They can be useful sources of information about how other people see you, and might describe you in a way that you wouldn’t have thought of yourself.
- Remember, a personal ad is used to advertise the best qualities of yourself, so don’t be afraid to brag a bit!^{[2]
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  Expert Source
  
  Vikas Agrawal
  Visual Content Marketing Expert & Entrepreneur
  
  Expert Interview. 24 February 2023.}
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Offer objective information first. Objective info is that which describes your physical self and your life history. Physical description should be clinical and factual: include age, height, weight, eye color, hair color, and ethnicity/race. Do not employ superlative language or compare yourself to celebrities when describing your physical attributes.^{[3]
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Research source} Your life history should contain info about your education, your professional accomplishments, and your religious affiliation. Together, these details constitute the basic foundation of your identity.
- Always be honest when describing yourself and your past, but do not unnecessarily bias potential readers against you. Serious mistakes in your past will come to light eventually, and its better to let readers know if you have, for instance, a criminal history. If you’re less than forthright, you might find yourself making an awkward confession later and be forced to explain why you didn’t mention it up front.
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Describe your personality.^{[4]
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Research source} When describing your personality, focus on the positive aspects of yourself. Take care to describe who you are, not who you want to be, so highlight your best features fairly and without exaggerating.^{[5]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Show, don’t tell, your personality with descriptive info. Instead of describing yourself as generous and a lover of animals, say “I donated $100 to Greenpeace this year” or “I volunteer regularly at the local animal shelter.”^{[6]
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- Avoid giving too much information. You want the reader to be interested in learning more about you. Being honest will save you from hurt and humiliation.
- You don’t need to mention your serious shortcomings (“I’m impatient and easily frustrated”), but including a few flaws can be humanizing and demonstrate you’re honest with yourself. Mentioning, for instance, you get cranky if you do not get enough sleep is a good way to pull back the proverbial curtain on your personal ad.
- Be specific and truthful about what's important to you. If you have a passion, then include it when composing personal advertisements. Whether it's camping, bowling, or traveling, you should always mention the things that you love to do. Common ground is a crucial ingredient of a good relationship, so attracting someone who shares at least some of your interests is a must.
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Include a description of the type of person you are looking for. For example, you could state that you are looking for a friend to share your interest in fishing, or that you are looking for a long, stable relationship with a man who loves to ballroom dance. These descriptions reveal the type of relationship you are looking for, as well as the interests you hope to share together.^{[7]
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Expert Source

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.}
- Designate which things are deal breakers and which are not. If you’re too specific, and demand that only individuals who meet every one of your requirements answer your ad, you’ll have a more difficult time locating someone who meets some or most of them (a far more realistic expectation).
- It is also acceptable to designate the types of people you do not want replying to your ad. For instance, you might say you are not interested in dating unemployed individuals, or individuals without a college education. These qualifications will save you and potential suitors a lot of time when they browse and decide to reply to your ad.
Write no more than 50-100 words. Your ad should pique the reader’s interest, leaving them wanting to learn more. If you write too much, people will often skim it, rather than read it carefully. An especially verbose ad might lead readers to conclude that you are self-absorbed and conceited due to the length and breadth of your self-description.

Part 2

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Editing the Ad

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Be creative and specific in your ad.^{[8]
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Research source} Don’t say “I enjoy film”; say instead “I love Wes Anderson and the Coen Brothers” or “My favorite films are _____.” Instead of saying “I love to travel,” talk about places you’ve been and places you’d like to go. Similarly, when describing what you’re looking for, don’t employ standard phrases and terms in your ad. Instead of a boring phrase like “Looking for someone great to spend time with,” or “Looking for my other half,” write “Looking for someone to be the Superman to my Lois Lane” or “Looking for a partner in crime to accompany me to the donut shop at 3 AM.”
- Think about your interests and your personality to discover how you can make your prose original, inspired, and specific to you.
- When writing your ad, imagine what kind of person you want to meet and think about what they might search for when browsing the personals. Key terms or interests like “punk rock,” “petite,” and “creative” should be present.
Avoid being sarcastic, rude and crass, and refrain from swearing. You may talk this way in your daily life, but if you are hoping for a lot of responses, then you need to refrain from being offensive. Keeping your tone upbeat and positive will attract more people than will a negative tone. Additionally, ensure your attempts at humor are not interpreted as cynical, bitter, or self-deprecating.
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Do some editing before publishing.^{[9]
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Research source} Before publishing your ad, give it a thorough reading-over. Check for spelling and grammar errors which may indicate to readers that you are unintelligent or careless. Ensure punctuation and capitalization rules have been observed. Ask a trusted, literate friend to read over your ad before you post it, looking for grammatical and spelling errors, and confusing language. Alternately, you can locate a professional editor to look over your ad at an average cost of about $25.
- A good move is to write your ad on a word processing program first, then copy and paste the text into the online submission form later. The word processing program should have a spellchecker built into it, and many offer limited grammatical correction as well.^{[10]
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Include a photo or two. Take some flattering, but honest, images of yourself.^{[11]
X
Expert Source

Vikas Agrawal
Visual Content Marketing Expert & Entrepreneur

Expert Interview. 24 February 2023.} Put on your favorite outfit and get a few angles. If you wear makeup, put some on and snap some pictures. You might include some props that help define you in the picture(s). A photo with your cat, or playing guitar in your band can make you stand out. If someone responds to your personal and you arrange a meeting, they’re going to see what you look like anyways; you might as well be honest about it and save both of you a lot of time by including a photo.
- Only use clear, crisp images of a reasonably high resolution. Do not post blurry or low quality images.
- Do not include more than three photos. Nobody likes vanity. Use one full-body shot and one close-up of your smiling face.
- Do not use photos of you with other people; the friends or family members in the photo with you might cause confusion as to who posted the personal.
- Only use recent photos. Do not use photos of yourself when you were 5 years younger and/or 50 pounds lighter than you currently are. Always use images that accurately represent you as you are. You can add photos of yourself in a variety of situations to reflect your personality.^{[12]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Vikas Agrawal
  Visual Content Marketing Expert & Entrepreneur
  
  Expert Interview. 24 February 2023.}
- Unless the personal does not allow photos, readers may think you have something to hide if you do not include a photo.
- Smile in your photo. A recent poll found that personals with smiling pictures of the individual who wrote the ad were more popular than those with a sexy image.^{[13]
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Sample Personal Ads

Sample Funny Personal Ad From Woman

Sample Funny Personal Ad From Man

Expert Q&A

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Question

What should you describe about yourself in a personal ad?

Maya Diamond, MA
Relationship Coach
Maya Diamond is a Dating and Relationship Coach in Berkeley, CA. She has 15 years of experience helping singles stuck in frustrating dating patterns find internal security, heal their past, and create healthy, loving, and lasting partnerships. She received her Master's in Somatic Psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies in 2009.

Maya Diamond, MA

Relationship Coach

Expert Answer

Make it clear what type of relationship you're looking for so you're on the same page with the potential people you're meeting.

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Tips

Be authentic and witty while clearly expressing your specific expectations as you write the ad.^{[14]
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Vikas Agrawal
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Expert Interview. 24 February 2023.}

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Warnings

Don't give out your personal information (address and phone number) in your ad. Meet (at first) in public places. Be cautious with individuals who respond to your personal.

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People can be what you want (for a short time). A long description makes it easier for someone to pretend they are what you want, deliberately or not, with good or bad intent. Spare yourself the disappointment and don't specify in much detail / over-specify what the ideal date, boyfriend, girlfriend would be like; if you do, you have a good chance of missing the person who’s right for you.

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Writing a creative personal ad can be a tough predicament as you need to explain both your good qualities and weaknesses while still leaving a positive impression at the end. For this, make sure to think calmly and analyze yourself and your expectations in detail.^{[15]
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Vikas Agrawal
Visual Content Marketing Expert & Entrepreneur

Expert Interview. 24 February 2023.}

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