15 Ways to Be More of an Adult

Learn how to adult with the help of professional life coaches and other experts

Co-authored by Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA and Jennifer Mueller, JD

Last Updated: October 30, 2024 Fact Checked

Do you feel like a kid trapped in an adult's body? Have you been told you should act more like an adult, but you don't understand what that means? Well, you've come to the right place. Adulthood, as it turns out, doesn't come with a guidebook. That's why we talked to life coaches and lifestyle experts to find out everything you need to know about how to act like an adult.

Acting Like an Adult

Elevate your basic outfits to be more mature and presentable.
Maintain good personal hygiene and a clean living space.
Make a five-year plan for your goals and finances.
Approach life with confidence and an open mind.
Treat others with respect and kindness.
Take responsibility for your actions and mistakes.

1

Invest in a more mature, classic style.

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Wearing more adult clothing can make you feel more like an adult. Making this change doesn't mean you have to throw out your old band tees! It just means thinking more about the overall look and putting clothes together in an intentional way, rather than just grabbing something from the top of the pile of clean clothes.^{[1]
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- Accessories can elevate basics like a T-shirt and jeans to something more stylish. You might also experiment with tucking in your shirt, rolling up your jeans, or wearing different types of belts.
- Image consultant Chloée Ohayon-Crosby maintains that, while "trends are fun, you know your body…and what works for you."^{[2]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Chloée Ohayon-Crosby
  Costume Designer & Wardrobe Specialist
  
  Expert Interview. 24 July 2020.} Rather than hopping on every youth-oriented micro-trend, find what looks good on your body and with your style.
- Similarly, etiquette coach Tami Claytor notes that "if you want to look more mature, please wear clothes that fit properly... make sure that your clothes are pressed, so they're not wrinkled... [and] make sure that you look presentable."^{[3]
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  Expert Source
  
  Tami Claytor
  Etiquette Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 30 September 2020.}

2

Maintain good personal hygiene.

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Being able to take care of yourself is an important part of being an adult. People notice when you're clearly taking care of yourself and putting some effort into your appearance. But beyond that, taking care of yourself makes you feel better about yourself. When you know you smell good and look presentable, you have more confidence than if you roll out of bed in your PJs.^{[4]
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- As a teenager, try to build the hygiene routines that will take you through and into adulthood. As your skin and body are changing, this is the perfect time to create routines that work for you to keep you looking and feeling your best.
- Life coach Michelle Shahbazyan notes that "when you're better at taking care of yourself... you will find that your life will be thoroughly enhanced, and you'll feel better and... be more productive."^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
  
  Expert Interview. 22 April 2020.}
- Ohayon-Crosby agrees that "no matter what you wear, hygiene is a big one. Someone that looks always clean, always has a good presentation... that speaks for itself."^{[6]
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  Expert Source
  
  Chloée Ohayon-Crosby
  Costume Designer & Wardrobe Specialist
  
  Expert Interview. 24 July 2020.}
- Ohayon-Crosby continues, "Always have your hair combed, always looking clean. You could be wearing anything, but if you don't look sharp and clean, then it doesn't always look good."^{[7]
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  Expert Source
  
  Chloée Ohayon-Crosby
  Costume Designer & Wardrobe Specialist
  
  Expert Interview. 24 July 2020.}

3

Keep your living area clean and tidy.

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Having an organized space makes it easier for you to do things. A messy living space feels more like a kid's room or a college dorm room. In contrast, if your space (no matter how small!) is organized and well put together, you'll look and feel more like an adult. Even better, when you keep your home clean, you're always ready to have guests at the drop of a hat without stressing out about your place being a wreck.^{[8]
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- Wall treatments, plants, and real artwork can make your place look less like a teenager's room or a dorm room.
- As with your wardrobe, you don't have to get rid of your favorite posters or concert memorabilia! Just frame them so they look more polished. They'll give your room a more put-together look.

4

Find a mentor to act as a role model.

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Getting guidance and advice helps you build your self-confidence. A good mentor can help teach you new skills as well as improve the skills you already have. With their help, you might find that your self-assurance grows, and you feel more prepared to tackle what comes your way. You'll definitely seem more adult if you seem more composed and ready to take on any situation.^{[9]
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Trustworthy Source

Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

Go to source}
- If you're not sure who to tap as a mentor, Shahbazyan recommends that you "look around you for people you look up to and see what they do and what successful people are accomplishing as far as the day-to-day part of their life."^{[10]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
  
  Expert Interview. 22 April 2020.}
- Reach out to an old guidance counselor, a professor, a senior colleague, or a community leader. Family members and close friends can also be mentors!
- In addition to finding a mentor for yourself, you might decide that you're interested in mentoring younger people as well. Check out a program such as the Boys and Girls Club, which connects role models to adult mentors in their community.^{[11]
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5

Keep your mind sharp by learning new skills.

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Adopting a growth mindset can help you grow into a better person. Learning new skills helps you expand your mind and gain a greater perspective on the world, which can make you seem a lot more mature. When you recognize that you always have things to learn, you keep your mind active and alert so you're able to handle any situation with a calm, adult-like demeanor.^{[12]
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- The more life experience you have, the more you have to compare to. A wealth of experiences makes it a lot easier for you to understand other people's perspectives.
- If you're constantly learning, that also means you remember what it feels like to try something new for the first time. This allows you to have more patience with others.

6

Take control of your finances.

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Creating a budget helps you better plan for the unexpected. If you got in the habit of saving money when you were a kid, congratulations! You're a step ahead of a lot of other people. But it's never too late to start—just think of your savings and investments as a way of paying yourself in the future.^{[13]
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Trustworthy Source

Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

Go to source}
- Planning your expenses every month means that you can make sure that your bills are paid. When you go out to have a good time, you won't have to worry about spending too much.
- Some companies give you a discount if you sign up for paperless billing and set up autopay for your monthly bills. Even if you don't get a discount, it still means you don't have to worry about late fees because you forgot to pay.

7

Treat others with politeness and respect.

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Respecting others means others will respect you as well. Displaying good manners is the easiest way to show people that you respect them—as well as the easiest way to earn their respect as a fellow adult. When you remember to say "please" and "thank you" or hold open a door for someone, you show them that you're a responsible member of your community and care about those who live around you.^{[14]
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- Basic manners are really just the starting point of learning to move through the world with grace and poise. You respect others and treat them honorably.
- Life coach Kirsten Parker adds that "the more genuinely you respect yourself, the more naturally you'll attract respect from others."^{[15]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kirsten Parker, MFA
  Mindset & Action Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.}

8

Take responsibility for your actions.

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Accepting the consequences and making amends shows real maturity. According to Parker, "Taking full responsibility isn't always easy, but being willing to is a great way to begin! The biggest block to acting like an adult is delegating responsibility for your feelings to people and things outside yourself."^{[16]
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Expert Source

Kirsten Parker, MFA
Mindset & Action Coach

Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.}
- Parker continues, "Taking full responsibility means owning that your feelings are created by your own thinking. Nothing outside yourself can cause your emotions: Your boss, your bank account, world events, not even your past. Your thoughts about all of those things determine how you feel."^{[17]
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  Expert Source
  
  Kirsten Parker, MFA
  Mindset & Action Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.}
- If you get into an argument with someone, go ahead and apologize for your part in it rather than waiting for them to say something.
- When you make a mistake, and no one's around to see it, let the appropriate people know that you did it rather than waiting for them to discover the problem or pretending you don't know anything about it.

9

Seek out feedback so you can improve.

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Using feedback to learn and grow demonstrates a mature mindset. When someone gives you negative feedback, you could choose to let it upset you—but the more adult-like thing to do is to show that you're open to it. Recognizing that you're not perfect and that there are always things you can improve is one of the biggest ways you can act like an adult.^{[18]
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- If someone's feedback crosses a line and seems mean or hurtful rather than constructive, don't be afraid to set boundaries. Even if they have a legitimate complaint, they can tell you about it without being mean.
- Show that you're dedicated to improvement by immediately implementing the feedback as much as you can.
- You might also ask the person follow-up questions to find out if your performance has improved since they gave you the original feedback.

10

Approach the world with confidence and purpose.

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Standing tall and taking up space shows others that you're an adult. When you're confident, you're not afraid to take up space or speak up so that others can hear what you have to say. It doesn't mean that you think you're better than anyone else or more entitled to anyone's attention—it just means that you know you're as worthy as anyone else.^{[19]
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- For Shahbazyan, "it's just a matter of going out there and finding it and getting out of that mindset that someone else is going to figure it out for you or someone else is going to help you with it or hold your hand along the way."^{[20]
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  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
  
  Expert Interview. 22 April 2020.}

11

Show empathy to others.

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Empathizing demonstrates that you have emotional maturity. Kids tend to be pretty me-first. People will see that you're acting like an adult if you consider other people's perspectives. Showing empathy also means that you think about the consequences of something before you do it, so you're less likely to unintentionally harm someone.^{[21]
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- Listen actively to people you care about if they need to vent. They'll see that you empathize with them because you give them a sounding board.
- If you can avoid judging people for the things they say and do, you'll have a big part of empathy already down. Just remember that you don't know what someone's dealing with, and there are many possible reasons for them to act the way they do.

12

Make a five-year plan for your life.

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Setting goals shows that you're thinking about the future. Take a moment to think about where you see yourself 5, 10, or even 20 years from now. What accomplishments have you achieved? Where do you live? What does your family and social life look like? Then, break those things down into measurable goals that you can achieve in a specific time frame.^{[22]
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- Hold yourself responsible for meeting the smaller goals on the way to your big goals, and you'll be well on your way to achieving your dreams, which will make you seem very mature and in control of your life.
- Even if you aren't able to meet all your goals right away, the fact that you're planning them and putting effort toward them shows that you're acting like an adult. A child likely wouldn't think beyond tomorrow or next week.

13

Volunteer in your community.

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Helping others shows that you care about more than just yourself. When you volunteer, you're putting work into what you believe in. While anybody can donate (as long as they have the money), only some people are going to be willing to roll up their sleeves and really pitch in to get things done. By doing this, you're showing that you take responsibility not just for yourself but also for the world you live in.^{[23]
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HelpGuide
Nonprofit organization dedicated to providing free, evidence-based mental health and wellness resources.

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- Volunteering also gives you the opportunity to be a good role model for kids and other young people who might follow in your footsteps.
- If you need help figuring out where to volunteer, brainstorm a list of issues that you really care about. Then, search locally for nonprofit organizations that are dedicated to working on those issues.
- Political campaigns are always looking for volunteers as well if organizing around a candidate is something more interesting to you.

14

Find your true purpose.

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Understanding who you really are makes you seem more solid to others. Your purpose is your guiding force; it's how you know which path to choose in life and which direction to head in. Your path in life isn't necessarily something you're going to know right away—it could take a lot of reflection. But just the fact that you're searching for it is usually enough at first, especially when you're young.^{[24]
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Harvard Business Review
Online and print journal covering topics related to business management practices

Go to source}
- It might take a little trial and error as well. You might feel called to something that you later find isn't at all fulfilling. That's just part of the process.
- People don't necessarily need to know that you're living a purpose-driven life. They'll still likely notice that you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and aren't easily swayed or distracted from what you set out to do.
- If you're having trouble finding your purpose, Shahbazyan advises that you "think about how you want to give back to society, because we all need each other in some shape or form."^{[25]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
  
  Expert Interview. 22 April 2020.}

15

Live for yourself.

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Follow your core values and don't worry about what others think. For some, "acting like an adult" is the key to being respected and having your contributions valued. But in a lot of ways, "acting like an adult" is pretty overrated. It's also a phrase that changes definition depending on who you ask. Instead of trying to act like an adult to make other people happy, focus on making yourself happy.^{[26]
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- Shahbazyan notes that "people pleasing is one of the most distressing experiences [she's] ever seen people have. More so than almost anything else, it's the top one or two things that cause stress for people because it's actually impossible to please everybody else."^{[27]
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  Expert Source
  
  Michelle Shahbazyan, MS, MA
  Life Coach, Author, and Speaker
  
  Expert Interview. 22 April 2020.}
Brene Brown, Author & Professor of Social Work

Preserve your sense of self, always. "I feel like I belong everywhere I go, no matter where it is or who I’m with, as long as I never betray myself. And the minute I become who you want me to be in order to fit in and make sure people like me is the moment I no longer belong anywhere."