Funny Anniversary Quotes, Messages, & Captions for Your Husband

Whether you and your husband are celebrating your first, tenth, or fiftieth wedding anniversary, it’s important to keep each other laughing. If you’re trying to find the perfect, hilarious message to share with your husband on your anniversary, look no further. We’ve gathered all the best funny anniversary wishes for a husband, including sarcastic and sweet messages, as well as social media captions that will have your man grinning from ear to ear.

Section 1 of 6:

Funny Anniversary Wishes for a Husband

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Celebrate all the laughter in your marriage. Many people believe having a sense of humor is important for a lasting relationship. If you and your husband are constantly making each other laugh, a funny message may be the perfect anniversary wish, whether you’re celebrating in person or on a card. Here are some hilarious anniversary wishes for a husband:^{[1]
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- “Happy anniversary to the man who makes me feel like I can conquer anything… or at least the pile of laundry in the corner.”
- “Sometimes I wonder how you deal with me, but then I remember I deal with you, too. Happy anniversary. I love you.”
- “Even though you’re my only husband, you’re still my favorite. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary! I want to spend the rest of my money with you.”
- “Happy anniversary, sweetheart. Love isn’t just blind… It’s also deaf, thanks to your snoring.”
- “Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary to my amazing husband. Loving me isn’t always easy, but it’s pretty entertaining, right?”
- “An anniversary is a celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. The order varies depending on the year. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary. I love you so much I’d lay down my life for you. Well, maybe not my life, but I would lie down.”
- “This anniversary, I wanted to offer my sympathies for having to put up with me all year.”
- “Happy anniversary, sweetheart. You sure know how to sweep me off my feet. If only you knew how to sweep the floor.”
- “Happy anniversary, darling! I guess we didn’t realize how long this ‘til death do us part’ thing would be.”
- “Happy anniversary, baby! I love you, but I really can’t explain why.”
- “Happy anniversary! I figured one of us would be in jail by now.”
- “Happy anniversary! Everyone’s going to be amazed we’ve tolerated each other for this long.”
- “Marriage is like a fine wine. It gets better with age, but sometimes it gives you a headache, too. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary! The key to a successful marriage is patience, forgiveness, and a good sense of humor—especially when your spouse forgets your anniversary!”
- “Sorry, no refunds. Happy anniversary!”
- “My dear husband, I want you… to do more around the house. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary to the man who makes my life complete… especially when he takes out the trash.”

Section 2 of 6:

Witty Anniversary Wishes for a Husband

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Tease your husband with a witty joke. They say laughter is the best medicine, so keep your husband laughing with a smart, cheeky anniversary wish. Try one of the following to put a smile on his face and remind him why you’re the funny one in the relationship:^{[2]
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- “Marriage means commitment, but so does insanity. Let’s celebrate while we still can. Happy anniversary!”
- “Let’s celebrate the day you gave up on finding anyone better than me. Happy anniversary!”
- “I was thinking of going to the bakery but then remembered I already have the sweetest thing in the world at home. Happy anniversary, sweetheart!”
- “Happy anniversary to my partner in crime. I can’t believe we haven’t been caught yet.”
- “The longer you’re with someone, the more they rub off on you. No wonder you’re so much cooler now. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary, darling. We may be like fire and ice at times, but that just means one of us is always making the other melt!”
- “As we grow old together, just remember I’ll always be the funny one. Happy anniversary!”
- “Love is a lot like a toothache. It doesn’t show up on x-rays, but you know it’s there. Happy anniversary, darling!”
- “Happy anniversary! [Number of years] ago we got married, and two became one. That might explain all the weight I’ve gained.”
- “Happy anniversary from the one who is in deep with you. The proof is in our credit card debt, mortgage, car payments, and utility bills.”
- “Happy anniversary! We’ve had our problems, but like a PB&J that gets squished by an apple in a lunch box, we’ve stuck together.”
- “Happy anniversary, babe! There’s no one else I’d rather beat the divorce statistics with.”
- “Happy anniversary, darling. I still admire your determination to change me.”
- “Happy anniversary! I’ll always laugh at your jokes. Even the ones that aren’t funny.”
- “Happy anniversary! It’s incredible that we still love each other after all this time. I guess miracles do happen!”
- “Marriage is all about compromise. Congratulations on another year of letting your better half win all the arguments.”
- “Happy anniversary! Marriage is like a rollercoaster—full of ups and downs and the occasional urge to scream!”
- “They say marriage makes you live longer. I guess that’s true because it feels like we’ve been married forever. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary! Thanks for finally figuring out that saying ‘Yes, dear’ is the secret to a happy marriage.”
- “Happy anniversary, babe! Congrats on another year without forgetting each other’s birthdays. We’re setting the bar high!”

Section 3 of 6:

Sarcastic Anniversary Wishes for a Husband

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Lightheartedly poke fun at your husband or your relationship. If you and your husband are constantly roasting each other or you think gentle “bullying” is a form of affection, your husband might get a kick out of a particularly sarcastic anniversary message. Try one of the following messages to show him you’ll always keep him on his toes:^{[3]
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- “Happy anniversary! There’s no one else in the world I’d rather have snoring next to me.”
- “Happy anniversary, babe! Time to celebrate being one year closer to death do us part.”
- “I can’t imagine a life without you. I mean, who would pay the mortgage? Happy anniversary!”
- “It’s hard to find a partner who’s funny, sexy, and smart. I guess you’re one lucky guy! Happy anniversary.”
- “Happy anniversary from the best thing that ever happened to you.”
- “Happy anniversary! We’ve made it another year without a divorce!”
- “Marriage is spending the rest of your life with someone you want to kill but not doing it because you would miss them. Happy anniversary!”
- “Marriage is like a deck of cards. You start out with two hearts and a diamond, but as the years pass, you realize you need a spade and a club. Happy anniversary!”
- “Husbands are the best people to share your secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone because they weren’t listening in the first place. Happy anniversary!”
- “Love is blind. Marriage is an eye-opener. Happy anniversary, my love!”
- “Happy anniversary, babe. I still want you, and I still don’t know why.”
- “Another year together, and I’m amazed that you know no bounds. You just run over everything in your path. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary, darling. I’ll follow you wherever you go…thanks to the GPS tracker on your phone.”
- “Happy anniversary, my love. You’ve taught me so much throughout our marriage. I had no idea I was so ignorant.”
- “Happy anniversary, sweetheart. My uncle took bets on us staying together, and here we are another year. I wish I’d bet on us.”
- “Happy anniversary, baby! If you could see yourself through my eyes, you probably wouldn’t be wearing that outfit.”
- “Happy anniversary! Here’s to another year of pretending to like each other’s cooking.”
- “Happy anniversary! I’m so glad we’re one of those couples who still remember how to have a good time…even with each other.”
- “Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. Happy anniversary!”
- “I never knew what true happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. Happy anniversary!”

Section 4 of 6:

Sweet and Playful Anniversary Wishes for a Husband

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Keep your message lighthearted. A lot of marriage jokes involve poking fun at your spouse, but it’s important to let them know you love and care about them, too. If you’re looking for romantic anniversary messages that are funny without being too mean, try one of the following:^{[4]
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- “Happy anniversary, sweetheart. I hope you enjoy the chocolates I got you—they’re sweet, salty, nutty, and very addictive, just like you!”
- “My love for you gives me the same feeling as when I see my food coming at a restaurant.”
- “To my loving husband—happy anniversary! Thanks for always being there to fix things, especially my never-ending cravings for snacks.”
- “When penguins find their partner, they stay together for life. You’re definitely my penguin. Happy anniversary.”
- “Another year together, and I’d still choose you over a roomful of puppies. Happy anniversary, my love.”
- “We go together like Oreos and milk! Happy anniversary. I love you!”
- “Happy anniversary, babe! You’re the cream to my coffee—I’ll always have the hots for you.”
- “Happy anniversary, darling. Thank you for growing old with me. It’s a good thing I think wrinkles are adorable!”
- “Morning breath and all, you’re still the one I want to wake up to every morning. Happy anniversary!”
- “A good marriage is like a casserole—only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. Happy anniversary!”
- “I would climb mountains, trek through forests, and swim oceans for you, but I’d really appreciate it if you take my word for it. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary, my love. I’ll always be at your side. Someone has to keep you out of trouble.”
- “Happy anniversary. You’re my reason for getting up every morning. Who else is going to cook breakfast?”
- “If we were socks, we’d be a matching pair. Happy anniversary, baby!”
- “Happy anniversary, darling! Marriage is all about love, laughter, and the occasional eye roll.”
- “Happy anniversary! Marriage is about teamwork—like deciding who gets the last slice of pizza.”
- “Happy anniversary, sweetheart! Who said happily ever after can’t be watching Netflix in our pajamas every night?”
- “Don’t pinch me—I’m living in my favorite rom-com with you. Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary, babe! Being married to me for the rest of your life is the real anniversary gift.
- “Happy anniversary to my loving husband. Even though we have more gray hair, wrinkles, and body aches, loving you never gets old.”

Section 5 of 6:

Funny Anniversary Social Media Post Captions

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Celebrate your love with the world. If long, cheesy paragraphs aren’t really your thing, celebrate your anniversary by sharing a funny social media post for your friends and family to see. Many funny anniversary wishes also make great social media captions. Check out the following for some inspiration:^{[5]
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- “Beyond grateful (and relieved) that we both swiped right. Happy anniversary to my other half!”
- “You’ll always be the only person I send heart eye emojis to.”
- “Forgot to cancel my 30-day marriage trial. Guess you’re stuck with me! Happy anniversary!”
- “Happy anniversary to my incredible husband. You put up with my Instagram, I put up with your fantasy football. That makes us even.”
- “Cheers to the man who decided to put up with me for the rest of his life. Happy anniversary, babe!”
- “I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.”
- “Marriage is basically just me whispering ‘Are you awake? I need to show you this cat video…’ Happy anniversary, darling!”
- “Happy anniversary to my unpaid therapist—I mean my husband.”
- “Happy anniversary to the man who stole my heart… and my last cookie. Don’t worry, I still love you.”
- “Choosing you makes up for all the bad decisions I’ve ever made. I love you. Happy anniversary.”
- “Happy anniversary to the only person I love more than Taylor Swift!”
- “Happy anniversary to my loving husband. Are you sure you aren’t sick of me yet?”
- “Happy anniversary! I think this means we’re practically experts at this marriage thing now.”
- “Other people may call it chaos, but we call it marriage. Happy anniversary to my wonderful husband.”
- “I can’t believe I get to look at your face for the rest of my life! Happy anniversary, babe!”
- “Thanks for never streaming an episode of our favorite show without me by your side. Happy anniversary!”
- “Yeah, it’s been [number] years of marriage, but who’s counting?”
- “Happy anniversary to the only man I want to annoy for the rest of my life.”
- “On our anniversary, I want you to know how much happiness and satisfaction I get from annoying you all these years. Here’s to many more!”
- “Happy anniversary, babe! Today we celebrate the best decision you’ve ever made.”

Section 6 of 6:

Funny Anniversary Quotes

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Quote your favorite celebrity or notable figure. People have been making jokes about marriage for centuries. If you’re having trouble coming up with a funny anniversary message for your husband, why not let someone else say it for you? Try out one of these quotes from popular celebrities, TV shows, and even historical figures:^{[6]
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- “Some mornings I wake up grouchy. And some mornings I just let him sleep.” – Roseanne
- “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” – Henny Youngman
- “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
- “When someone is murdered, the police investigate the spouse first. That tells you everything you need to know about marriage.” – Katherine Hepburn
- “My husband and I have never considered divorce… Murder, sometimes, but never divorce.” – Joyce Brothers
- “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” – Michel de Montaigne
- “Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.” – Will Ferrell
- “Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up.” – Evelyn Hendrickson
- “I know a few things about love. Horrible, terrible, awful, awful things.” – The Office
- “Marriages don’t work when one partner is happy and the other is miserable. Marriage is about both people being equally miserable.” – Forget Paris
- “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” – Benjamin Franklin
- “Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” – Ogden Nash
- “Love is being stupid together.” – Paul Valery
- “Only married people can understand how you can be miserable and happy at the same time.” – Chris Rock
- “Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution?” – Groucho Marx
- “As a man in a relationship, you have a choice. You can be right or you can be happy.” – Ralphie May
- “Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.” – Phyllis Diller
- “True love is singing karaoke ‘Under Pressure’ and letting the other person sing the Freddie Mercury part.” – Mindy Kaling
- “They say all marriages are made in heaven but so are thunder and lightning.” – Clint Eastwood

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Tips

Take your relationship and your husband’s personality into consideration when choosing an anniversary message. If you two constantly roast each other, for example, go for something more sarcastic. If you prefer to keep things romantic, choose something sweet and playful.

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When celebrating your anniversary, wedding planner Ivy Summer suggests surprising your partner: “It doesn't have to be a grand show or grand gesture. It can be a homemade dinner from scratch or a five-star Michelin style meal. It doesn't have to be big. It just has to be humble.”

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