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Everyone makes mistakes. It may sound like a cliche, but it's true. If you've recently hurt a girl's feelings, you may be feeling pretty bad about it. Apologizing to her can help you express your remorse and even make the girl feel better. Before you say that you're sorry, here are some tips for giving a meaningful and sincere apology.

1

Apologize in person.

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  1. It takes courage to say sorry in person. Being that open and honest with someone shows that you're really making an effort to communicate your remorse. Pick a quiet place away from other people and apologize in person.[1]
    • If you're at school, try a spot on campus away from others, like in the courtyard or at an empty lunch table. When you're out of school, try a bench at a neighborhood park.
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3

Acknowledge what you did in your apology.

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  1. Be specific and refer back to exactly what rude things you said or did. This shows her that you understand the mistake that you made and that you've really thought about how your behavior affected her.[3]
    • Say something like, "I'm so sorry for making fun of your outfit yesterday. That was so rude and inconsiderate, and I should never have said that."
    • Avoid generalized apologies like, "I'm sorry I'm such a bad person." This doesn't address what you did to hurt her specifically. It's much more meaningful to show her that you understand exactly what you did wrong.
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4

Accept responsibility for your actions.

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  1. It's super hard to admit when you've messed up, but blaming your actions on others is like taking the easy way out. Do the right thing and hold yourself accountable. As difficult as it may be, tell her that what you did was a mistake that you alone made.[4]
    • You could say, "There are no excuses for what I did. I was just being flat-out rude and I couldn't be more sorry for hurting you."
    • Avoid providing justifications for what you did. Don't say anything like, "I know I hurt your feelings, but you were being really annoying."
6

Make a promise to change and mean it.

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  1. Before apologizing, take a moment to think about what you can do differently going forward. Maybe you want to think more before you speak or treat girls with more respect. Once you come up with positive changes you can make, include those in your apology. If your friends with this girl and want to keep spending time with her, make sure you avoid making the mistake again. Make a promise to yourself and her so that you can repair your friendship. This will help you both move forward![6]
    • Even if you're not good friends, you can tell the girl that you intend to treat people better in the future.
    • You can say something like, "I realize now that my words can hurt people. I promise I won't be so careless about your feelings next time."
7

Listen to her perspective.

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  1. When apologizing to a girl, give her a chance to respond. Pause every now and then to let her speak. If she asks you questions, try your best to answer them. She may need to express in person how hurt she was by your behavior. Avoid getting defensive, and listen.[7]
    • It may be really hard to hear how hurt she was by your behavior. Try your best to be open to hearing her perspective and reiterate how apologetic you are.
    • Try to practice active listening by avoiding interruptions, nodding your head, making eye contact, and asking follow-up questions. However, prioritize listening to what the other person is saying (rather than thinking about what you’ll say next).
    • Reader Poll: We asked 378 wikiHow readers how they like to show that they’re actively listening, and only 10% of them said that they like to ask thoughtful questions. [Take Poll]
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8

Respect her response.

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9

Give her space if she needs it.

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  1. Though some people may accept your apology and move on quickly, others need some extra time to process how they feel.[9] After apologizing, let her know that you understand if she needs space and that you will respect that.[10]
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Expert Q&A

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  • Question
    How can I apologize to a woman?
    Courtney Quinlan
    Courtney Quinlan
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Courtney Quinlan is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach and the Owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding individuals a compatible partner, providing guidance throughout the dating process, and crafting events for singles in the Midwest. Courtney holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism from The University of Nebraska at Omaha.
    Courtney Quinlan
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    It depends on the woman with whom you are talking. Some women may want more space. But some women like the other person to bow down and do whatever it takes to get them back.
  • Question
    What should I keep in mind while trying to mend a relationship?
    Courtney Quinlan
    Courtney Quinlan
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Courtney Quinlan is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach and the Owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding individuals a compatible partner, providing guidance throughout the dating process, and crafting events for singles in the Midwest. Courtney holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism from The University of Nebraska at Omaha.
    Courtney Quinlan
    Matchmaker & Dating Coach
    Expert Answer
    You should understand the type of woman you are dealing with and know what matters to her. Use that knowledge to apologize and mend the relationship.
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  1. Courtney Quinlan. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
  2. Courtney Quinlan. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
  3. Courtney Quinlan. Matchmaker & Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 27 August 2021.
  4. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/apologize.html
  5. https://kidshealth.org/en/teens/ex-bully.html

About This Article

Courtney Quinlan
Co-authored by:
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
This article was co-authored by Courtney Quinlan and by wikiHow staff writer, Madeleine Criglow. Courtney Quinlan is a Matchmaker and Dating Coach and the Owner of Midwest Matchmaking. With over 15 years of experience, she specializes in finding individuals a compatible partner, providing guidance throughout the dating process, and crafting events for singles in the Midwest. Courtney holds a BS in Broadcast Journalism from The University of Nebraska at Omaha. This article has been viewed 59,459 times.
4 votes - 100%
Co-authors: 3
Updated: August 9, 2024
Views: 59,459
Categories: Forgiveness
Thanks to all authors for creating a page that has been read 59,459 times.

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