How to Ask Someone to Prom

Co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP

Last Updated: May 12, 2023

Asking someone to prom (also known as "Promposing") can be both exciting and scary. If you've picked the person you know you want to go to prom with, but have no idea how to ask them, don't worry! You can learn some proposing basics, discover some great ways to ask your prospective date, and begin to come up with some ideas of your own.

Method 1

Method 1 of 4:

Giving a Gift

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If you know they love animals, use that in your promposal! If they love dogs and you have a Labrador puppy, invite them over and pose your puppy next to a sign saying “Will you go to prom with me?” If their favorite animal is sharks, try Photoshopping a bunch of sharks into tuxedos and prom dresses, writing “Prom?” across the top, and sending it to them. ^{[1]
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If you know they love a certain food, incorporate it into your promposal. Spell out “Prom?” with pizza toppings or their favorite candy. You can also give them food in a box, like a cake or a burger, and write “Will you go to prom with me?” on the inside. ^{[2]
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If you’re good at coming up with puns, try sending them a pun based on their interests. You could try writing “It’s my goal to go to prom with you!” on a soccer ball, or giving them a taco with a note attached that says “I’m taco-ing about going to prom with you!”^{[3]
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Some people love puzzles. If your prospective date is one of them, try making a custom promposal puzzle. You can print your note onto an actual jigsaw puzzle, or you can try making a crossword or word search puzzle that has your promposal as the answer. ^{[4]
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If you’re a musical person, you can try writing a song for your prospective date. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or brilliant. You can even just change the lyrics of a popular song to include your promposal. Make sure your song is the kind of music they like before you start writing!^{[5]
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Buy them something they love. If you can buy a gift, getting them something you know they'll love can make your promposal memorable. The gift can be as simple as a handmade card or as extravagant as a pair of designer shoes. It's up to you and your budget!
- Avoid giving a lavish gift to someone you don't know well. It will be awkward for them and they might feel like they have to go with you.

Method 2

Method 2 of 4:

Making a Sign

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1
Write a message on a sign. The sign’s message doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be a simple “Will you go to prom with me?” or even just “Prom?” If you want to write something more involved, spend some time thinking about what will be easily understandable, what will fit on a sign, and what you wouldn’t mind other people seeing. A very personal anecdote, a long story, or a really obscure in-joke may not work out very well.^{[6]
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- You can also decorate your sign with glitter, photos, or balloons.
- Try leaving your sign somewhere your date might come across it on their day-to-day lives. Make sure you put both of your names on it if you do this!^{[7]
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Why make a sign when you can wear one? Write your promposal on a shirt or a baseball cap and wear it to surprise your date. You can do something simple like writing "Prom?" on your shirt, or you can even have a custom shirt made for both of you as a souvenir.
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"Prompose" at a school event. If you and your prospective date love a crowd, try promposing with your sign at a big event with everybody you know present. Any lighthearted or fun event is fine to choose. You can pick a sports game, a pep rally, or even just a really crowded hall or lunchroom.^{[8]
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- Avoid formal events like speeches and plays. You want everyone to be thinking about how cool your promposal is, not wondering why you’re interrupting everything.
- Definitely don’t plan a promposal at a sad event or a party for someone else.
If your school has a marquee at the entrance or in the sports complex, get your promposal on that sign! Find out who's in charge of the marquee and ask if you can use it for your promposal. Remember to include both your names!

Method 3

Method 3 of 4:

Asking for Help

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1
Ask the announcer at a game or assembly to do your promposal. If you know who handles the announcements at school events, ask them for help. They might be willing to interrupt their announcements to ask your date to prom for you.^{[9]
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- If they say no, have a backup plan! For example, if there’s no way they’ll let you get on the microphone at the homecoming game, see if they’ll let you do it at a pep rally.
If your teacher is easygoing, try asking them to get involved by making a promposal assignment. Try something like a pop quiz where the answers spell out your date's name and the word "prom," or a fake quiz where the only question is "Daryl, will you go to prom with Alyssa?"
Ask your friends to help set up a trail of clues leading your date to you. You'll need someone to make sure nobody else finds the clues, and another friend to make sure your date is there when the hunt begins.^{[10]
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Kidnap your prospective date. If you're already in a relationship with your date and you know them really well, get your friends to "kidnap" them for your promposal. You can have them run up to your date and drag them to where you're waiting with a sign or a bouquet of flowers.
- Be very careful with this technique! Make sure your date would like this, and that your friends understand to stop if your date becomes scared or upset.
A flash mob is when a group of people gather in public, do something random or spontaneous, and then quickly leave. You can organize your very own flash mob to do your promposal. First, create a group text or Facebook event for everyone you want to invite. Ask them to gather somewhere you know for sure your date will be, and then ask them to dance, hold up signs with your promposal, or just yell "Will you go to prom with Derek?"

Method 4

Method 4 of 4:

Asking in Person

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1
Find out if they already have a date. If you aren’t already seeing your prospective date, they may be planning to go with someone else. Finding out before you ask can save you a lot of time and embarrassment. If you’re really comfortable with them, you can ask them directly. If you’d rather not, ask your friends to find out or drop a hint about prom to them.^{[11]
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- Try saying something straightforward like “So do you have a prom date yet?” If they say yes, try to act calm and cool about it. Tell them you hope they have a great time. If they say no, you can either ask them right away or start planning your promposal!
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Expert Source

Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.} A promposal isn’t a one-size-fits-all event. Some people would absolutely hate being asked to prom in front of everybody at the homecoming game, but others would love it. Think about what you know about your prospective date. Would they prefer to be asked privately, or would they love a big public event? Do they think pun promposals are cute or annoying?^{[13]
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3
Bring up prom in conversation. If you aren’t sure how your prospective date feels about the whole prom thing, drop a hint. Start by bringing up the idea of prom in general to see how they react. Some people are very no-frills and may not even be interested in prom at all.
- Just say something casual like “I heard they actually hired an outside DJ for prom” or “My friend works at the mall, she says everyone’s buying prom stuff already.”
- If they seem interested and don’t mention a date, you can ask them!
- If they act grossed out by the idea of prom, they might be trying to act cool, or they might really not want to go. The only way to find out for sure is to ask them directly.
Don’t just ask them in front of everybody. Somebody who appreciates a low-key promposal is probably not going to want to be asked in front of their friends. You don’t need to ask to meet them or anything, just wait until it’s just the two of you walking, hanging out, or waiting for the bus.^{[14]
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Expert Source

Christina Jay, NLP
Dating & Relationship Coach

Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.}
5
Ask them to prom. Just come right out and say it! You don’t need to recite a poem or talk about how much you love them. Just look them in the eyes, smile, and say, “Will you go to prom with me?” Depending on the person, you can even say something really casual like “Want to go to prom together?”^{[15]
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- If they say no, smile, say you understand, and thank them. It doesn’t have to be awkward. You can still be friends later.
- It might be tempting to text them instead of speaking face to face, but don’t do it unless they have actually told you that they don’t mind text promposals. Many people think that sending a text about something important shows you don’t care that much. If you can’t see the person face to face, call them!
If they say yes, don’t just run away and leave them wondering when you’re going to follow up. Tell them you’re really excited to go with them and you can’t wait for prom. Then, say something casual like “I’ll get in touch with you this weekend to figure out the plans. Is that ok?”

Expert Q&A

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Question

How do you ask someone out?

Christina Jay, NLP
Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach
Christina Jay is a Matchmaker and Certified Life Coach based in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Christina is the founder of Preferred Match (preferredmatch.ca), her matchmaking service that finds love for successful and elite individuals. She has over 10 years of coaching experience, earned her NLP (Neuro-linguistic Programming) certification through NLP Canada Training, and has a BA in Business Administration from Brock University.

Christina Jay, NLP

Matchmaker & Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

Ask them out on a friendly date, such as grabbing a bite to eat with you. Try going out one-on-one instead of with a group of friends.

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How many days beforehand do I ask my date?

Community Answer

There isn’t a specific time frame, but try to ask as soon as you can after the dance has been officially announced.

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Tips

Don’t be afraid to be creative! This is a great opportunity to think outside the box and let your craziest dreams come true.

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Check Instagram, Twitter, and Google for fun promposal ideas--but don’t copy them exactly!

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Though you may think it would impress them, don't ask someone to prom in front of a big crowd or on stage or anything like that. You may embarrass them into saying yes, and regretting it later.

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Warnings

Not everyone who gets asked to prom accepts. If your prospective date turns you down, play it cool. Ask someone else or consider going to prom stag or with friends.

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