How to Be a Good Prom Date (for Guys)

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Co-authored by Christina Jay, NLP

Last Updated: June 12, 2024 Fact Checked

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Preparing

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Being Gentlemanly

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Treating Her Well

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Q&A

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Tips

Prom can either be a magical or a monstrous experience. Let's say you finally have your dream date to make the night memorable, but what next? Ensure you show your lady a great time by following these tips on how to be a good prom date.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Preparing

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1
Help her make plans. Prom is not just about the dance itself. The prom experience includes transportation, pictures, dinner, the after party, and more. Offer your assistance with the planning process to not only share ideas, but also to show you care.
- Discuss whether you will be attending prom with a group or whether you two will be attending alone. Coordinating plans with a larger group requires more time and effort.
- Decide the best time for pictures and dinner, and what time you plan to arrive at and leave from prom.
2
Plan your transportation. Decide whether you will be renting a limousine or whether you will be picking up your date in your vehicle. While you may be in love with your vehicle, your date may prefer a more romantic gesture like a limo (which can be quite pricey).
- If you decide to drive your vehicle, be sure to put gas in the vehicle the day before to avoid running late.
- Make sure you car is clear of clutter and both the interior and exterior are cleaned.
- If you will be renting a limo, be aware that they are usually booked by the hour and most companies have a minimum number of hours for which you must reserve the vehicle.
- Whatever form of transportation, make sure you exit the vehicle to retrieve your date and always hold the door for her or allow her to enter first.
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3
Dress to impress. Girls usually put a lot of time and thought into their outfit and they expect their dates to look just as great as they do. Because prom is usually a black tie affair, be sure to dress formally and to be well groomed for the occasion.^{[1]
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- Wear a nice suit or tuxedo to make sure your dress is formal enough for the occasion.
- Find out what color your date is wearing so you can coordinate small details like socks, ties, and pocket squares.
- Pay close attention to your hygiene that night including showering, shaving, getting a fresh haircut, and using cologne (sparingly).
- Looking clean and fresh will help you feel more confident around your date.^{[2]
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  Christina Jay, NLP
  Dating & Relationship Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 11 February 2020.}
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Bring a corsage. Corsages are small bouquets of flowers that are presented to your date as a sign of respect. Traditionally, they are worn on the left shoulder or left wrist if the dress is strapless or spaghetti strap.
- A boutonniere is a similar (but smaller) version of the flower bouquet that is pinned to the male's suit. It is customary for the female to present the boutonniere to the male and it usually matches the corsage (but it is not necessary).
- You should try to coordinate the corsage with your date's gown or choose neutral colors such as peach, white, or pink.
- Many different flowers can be used depending on style and budget including roses, lilies, carnations, and orchids.
- Because prom season is a peak season for florists, you should order your date's corsage 1-2 weeks in advance to ensure the florist has enough time to create the custom bouquet. Although you order in advance, you should try to pick your order up no sooner than the day before prom.
- You can also make the corsage the day before prom. Keep the flowers looking fresh by spritzing with water, keeping it in the container, refrigerating it, and using a sealant which can be found at any flower shop.^{[3]
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Be on time. Because there are so many stops to make on prom night, being prompt is incredibly important. Aside from that, nothing makes a worse first impression on a girl (and her parents) than being late.
- Have an itinerary or a plan of action. Know your schedule ahead of time so you know exactly what time you have to leave one spot in order to arrive at your next destination on time.
- If you know you are chronically late, determine what is making you late (enjoy the rush, easily distracted, trying to get too much done?)^{[4]
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  Research source} By doing this, you can be more realistic with time and learn how to overcome your chronic tardiness.
- Don't plan to leave on time. Plan to leave early so you leave some wiggle room for the unexpected.
6
Plan for post-prom activities. The actual prom dance only lasts anywhere from 2-4 hours so many people choose to have post-prom activities to keep the fun rolling. Discuss possible plans with your date so you can plan accordingly. (Will you have to take the limo back? Will you need a change of clothes? Will you need an overnight bag?)
- In an effort to keep students safe, many schools will host a post-prom activity at a local entertainment center like a bowling alley or skating rink. Be sure to know how long the event lasts, if there is an entry cost, and how you will arrive.
- Cruise around. If you have a limo, this is a perfect way to burn off the extra hours of paid time you may have remaining. Drive to spots in your city or town where you've never been or spots that are known to be romantic in nature.
- Attend a house party. Naturally, there will be a few post-prom parties thrown by students. Before planning to attend, be sure to respect your date's rules and curfew, and make sure you aren't putting her in any dangerous situations.

Part 2

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Being Gentlemanly

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1
Practice good chivalry. Chivalry is known as a code of ethics for how men treat women.^{[5]
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Research source}. The best way to describe it is to be courteous, respectful and helpful to your date. Open doors for her, pull our her chair, if she is cold give her your jacket. In general, put her needs first and she will be happy.
- Chivalry doesn't always fit in with modern dating methods. So be sure to tune into your date's responses to your actions to ensure you aren't going overboard with the niceties.
- Avoid some of the outdated modes of generosity such as ordering for your date, standing each time she enters/exits the room, or defending her honor. Be polite but know that she's a modern day gal who isn't helpless.^{[6]
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Compliment her. Sincere compliments not only break the ice, but they can also help to build bonds of trust and to make the mood cheerful and jolly. When complimenting your date, be unique instead of using generalities, and avoid making crude or overtly sexual compliments--especially if you're complimenting her appearance.
- Be unique. Instead of saying, "You have a nice smile" find a unique feature that draws you in such as, "I love that freckle on your neck. It's pretty cute."^{[7]
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  Greater Good Magazine
  Journal published by UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center, which uses scientific research to promote happier living
  
  Go to source}
- Avoid compliments about touchy subjects like weight. Even though "You look skinny in that dress" seems like it would be a compliment, many girls may take it the wrong way.
- Every girl loves to be complimented on their appearance, but avoid cheesy phrases like "hot" or "smoking". Instead, stick with classics like, beautiful, stunning or gorgeous.
- Don't just compliment her looks, compliment her personality too by saying something like, "You can always make me laugh," or "I can talk to you about anything."
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Talk to her parents. Although it may be an uncomfortably nervous situation, talking to your date's parents in a respectful manner shows a level of maturity that they will appreciate. If you can engage her parents in thoughtful conversation, your date will be more likely to relax and feel comfortable in your care for the evening.
- Show that you have good manners by saying "please" and "thank you" and referring to your date's parents as Mr. or Mrs.
- Engage them in conversation. Respond by answering with more than a simple 'yes' or 'no'. Show that you are interested in getting to know them.
- Give them your attention. Avoid being rude by flipping through your cellphone or watching the television during conversation.
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Respect her. When a man shows that he admires a woman for more than just her looks, she tends to return the same respect in return. By showing your date that you value the qualities and abilities that make her who she is, you create the atmosphere needed to have a magical night.^{[8]
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- Talk to her in a courteous manner. Avoid cursing, telling dirty jokes, putting her down or making sexual remarks about her body.
- Avoid pressuring her. Never make a woman feel forced to do anything she is not sure she wants to do including drinking alcohol, having sex, or going places she doesn't care to go.

Part 3

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Treating Her Well

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1
Don't be afraid to dance with her. Most girls really don't care if you're good or not, they just want someone to have fun with. Whether you're slow dancing or dancing to an upbeat song, try swaying or stepping left to right to the rhythm, and try not to be too stiff.
- For slow dancing, place your right hand on her left hip or on the small of her back and offer her your left hand at about shoulder level. As the leader, you can choose to either sway side to side or choose a "step touch" motion that follows the smooth beat of the music.
- If hand placements make you nervous during slow dancing, you can choose the "hug dance" instead. The male simply places both hands on his date's hips while her hands go about his neck. Foot movements should be kept the same.
- If you're nervous about moving to the beat of fast-paced songs, just remember to move to the beat. Shuffle your feet or step from side to side, relax your upper body so you can move your shoulders and head, and throw some arms into the mix too.
- Keep it clean and avoid dirty dancing. Remember to respect your date.
- If all else fails, dancing in groups is not only fun but it takes the pressure off of you. Popular group dances with choreographed moves like the "Cupid Shuffle" or "Copperhead Road" are always great fun for shy dancers.
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Spend time with her friends. Remember that prom night isn't meant to be completely about romance. It's better to have several friends with you, aside from just your significant other. If you don't share the same group of friends, be sure to spend ample time with each group of friends, and not just your own.
- Even though your date may be head over heels into you, that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to share this magical night with her girl friends too. Remember to not monopolize her time or to get jealous when she chooses to dance with the girls and not you.
- Not everyone goes to prom with a date. Remember that it's okay to share your date with her dateless friends.
- Remember, to be flexible. If you opted to go to dinner with her friends, remember you will still see your buddies at prom or even after prom. You should both be willing to split your time evenly.
3
Show her affection. Affection is act of showing someone you really care through small gestures that make them feel wanted and appreciated. It can be something as simple as holding her hand, hugging her unexpectedly, or even just smiling at her.^{[9]
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- When showing romantic affection (slow-dancing, kissing, etc.), make sure that the two of you are alone to make the moment special.
- Sometimes less is more when it comes to public displays of affection (PDA). Hand holding, hands around the waist, and closed-mouth kisses are fine in moderation.^{[10]
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- Avoid open-mouthed make out sessions, touching in private areas, licking or biting, and groping.
4
Show her attention. By paying attention to your date, your let her know that she's your #1 priority. Put the phone away, listen to what she says, laugh at her jokes, and don't get sidetracked by other friends (or worse, other girls). Let her know that you enjoy her company by showing her that she is interesting and important.^{[11]
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- Eye contact is important when showing interest in a person. During conversation, make sure you are face-to-face and not looking at the dance floor, or your cellphone (even if you're nervous).
- Listen more than you speak. When you listen and take an interest in what your date is saying, you won't have to fish for something to talk about; the conversation will naturally evolve and you'll find yourself jumping in at the right time.

Community Q&A

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Question

Must I pick up my date? I don't have a car or money to rent one. What can I do?

Community Answer

Ask a friend to take you and your date. If you are going in a group there is probably someone willing to give you a ride. You can also ask a parent to drive you. You're not the only one who doesn't have a car, don't worry.

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How can I find out what color she'll be wearing?

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Just ask her! Tell her you need to know what color for your tie and corsage!

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What if I don't have a car?

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Some couples pool together to rent a limo, but if funds are tight you could get an Uber/Lyft or ask someone to drive you.

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Tips

Have the details worked out ahead of time. If you're driving, gas the car the day before, not on the way to pick her up. Make sure your tux has all its parts.

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Decide before hand what you'll do. Are you going to put your arm around her (girls love that) or offer her your jacket when she's standing outside (girls love that even more) Or are you going to kiss her?

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Make your decisions based on how well you know each other and what you think she'd like for you to do.

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