How to Be Arrogant

Co-authored by Kirin Dejonckheere

Last Updated: May 25, 2024

Arrogance is typically thought of as a character flaw, but properly executed arrogance can give you a competitive, magnetic edge in your personal and professional relationships. You can learn to be competitive in all layers of your life, brag with the best of them, and make sure your arrogance doesn't tip over into being a total jerk.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Walking the Walk

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1
Be the best. It's a whole lot easier to be arrogant about something if you're the best in the room. The less you have to do to prove your arrogance, the better off and more convincing your verbal brags will be down the road. Often, we think of arrogance as being part of competition in sports or in office environments, but it also applies to social interactions, lifestyle, relationships, and lots of other areas of life. Strive to be the best in everything you do.
- Train hard and devote your time to whatever craft you hope to excel in. Arrogance just comes across like ignorance if you're bragging about something you don't even fully understand, or practice.
2
Develop a commanding presence. Even if people don't like you, they need to take notice when you walk into a room. Have a silent presence and aura by taking the steps necessary to control people with your body language, reflecting your high status and your value. To command people's attention without words:
- Stand up straight at all times, keeping your shoulders back and your head up and at attention.
- Move purposefully. Don't wander around rooms, or take little half-steps toward the bar. Walk right up to it at full-stride and grab a place at the table.
- Smile less. If you want to communicate your superiority, try your best to remain aloof and gaze critically at others as they complete tasks.
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3
Demonstrate your abilities publicly. Compete regularly to keep your skills sharp and your hunger for winning large. It's much better to brag and boast about things that other people already know or have seen you do, making your boasts that much more believable. Make an effort to win things that you know you can win with your skills and your arrogant edge.
- The earlier your start competing, the better. If you instill a serious competitive edge in yourself early in life, it'll carry through your adult years.
- Be competitive in all facets of your life. When Rafael Nadal was injured and needed to recover from competitive tennis, he started playing high-stakes poker, becoming obsessed, just to keep that arrogant edge.
4
Make an example of the weakest links. Arrogant people need to prove their superiority on a regular basis, and that means making an example of people weaker than you in competition. Whether that means calling out the worst worker in your office team, sticking them with some work that will expose their weakness, or challenging a weaker opponent to a contest, you need to dominate on a regular basis.
- Never, under any circumstances, take it easy on someone. Arrogant people compete at a high level at all times.
- It's also important to challenge upper-level opponents that will actually challenge your skills, but it's also helpful to fight the occasional squash match.
5
Be self-sufficient, or fake it. Arrogant people should come across like they're completely responsible for all their successes and attribute nothing to coaches, teachers, training, or any other facet of their skills. Arrogant people should seem like they were born in Armani diapers, with a big charge card in one hand and a championship trophy in the other, and have done nothing but dominate from that day forward.
- It doesn't matter if this is true or not. Just make it seem true by living ostentatiously, showing flash when you've got it. Wear your success visibly.
6
Dress like the person you claim to be. Walk the walk by wearing the uniform of the person that you're trying to be. One expensive suit, jacket or wrap-round dress is worth 50 cheap versions. It lasts longer and leaves a lasting impression.
- This involves a certain amount of conformity and a dedication to a particular look. You have to subscribe to the expected image of the "arrogant athlete" or the "arrogant bro" and find the style and garments that fulfill that image.
- Be groomed in the way that your arrogant field calls for. Arrogant rockers have to look as if their awesome-looking hair was the last thing they thought of that day, and the perfect-fitting leather jacket just fell into their lap.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Talking the Talk

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1
Brag about your accomplishments. Arrogance is about projecting superiority in all things, and it's easier to be superior and to brag about it when it's about things you've actually done. When you score more points than anyone else on the team, when you get your work done the fastest, when you beat your brother in a footrace, make sure everyone knows about it.
- Only brag about things that you do excellently. It's much more difficult to brag when you're only mediocre, and then your arrogance just comes off as ignorance. If you want to command presence, brag when you've got a reason.
- If you want to be more arrogant, you don't need to wait for an opening to brag, just start doing it. Arrogance is bullish and obvious, and arrogant people don't care if everyone knows it.
- Feel free to slightly embellish your accomplishments as well. It's better to exaggerate slightly than to flat-out lie, because you can get your arrogant bubble burst a little if people find out you didn't do as well as you claimed.
2
Set extremely high standards. If you want to come off as arrogant, start setting big goals and trying your best to live up to them. Your standard for excellence should always be higher than everyone else's, yet always within reach of your skills. Make the bar too high for anyone else to reach.
- Let your standards evolve with your skills. The more you accomplish, the higher your standards should become. It's not enough to win one championship, you have to repeat and three-peat, you have to win MVP trophies, and be the best in the room.
- If someone offers a compliment, an arrogant person will sometimes respond with something like, "Oh, that's nothing. I'm not even trying."
3
Criticize weakness. When other people fail to live up to the standards that you set for excellence and for yourself, point it out publicly. While it might seem cruel to point out other people's failures and inadequacies, it's an important way to position yourself on top of everyone else. That's just as important as bragging about yourself.
- You don't need to do it in a rude way to be arrogant, but it does help to be somewhat blunt. If your teammate or opponent in a game messes up a play, let them know that you disapprove, gently but firmly: "You know and I know that was a bad play. You just lost that for us. Pass me the ball next time."
4
Be impenetrable. Eventually, you'll probably get into verbal altercations as an arrogant person. Other wannabe arrogant people will try to take you down a notch or two, and it's very important that you be rock-solid in your verbal jousting. Don't let insults or witty jokes get to you, and practice your quick comebacks to stay one-up on the competition.
- A lot of this will happen ahead of the game. Learn to identify your competition and keep them either on your side by befriending them and working together to dominate, or by knocking them down a few pegs before they get the chance to gain confidence and challenge you.
5
Be playful. Ideally, your arrogance should make you magnetic and attractive, especially to members of the opposite sex.^{[1]
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Research source} A good sneer or a snicker at a ridiculous person or a ridiculous idea can be arrogant, but it can also be somewhat playful and charming. Think of the following playful arrogant icons:
- David Letterman
- Chandler from Friends
- Barney from How I Met Your Mother
- Lady Gaga
- Ron Burgundy
- Terry Crews
- Oprah Winfrey
- Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil)
6
Believe you are as good as you say you are. Remind yourself that you are the best and take pride in every single thing you do. Really take this attitude on board in all of your thinking and dismiss the niggling doubts, should there be any. Know that you are amazing in every way, and let this confidence transform your words and actions.
- In some cases, it might also help to invent slights or perceived insults that help to motivate you. Michael Jordan used to tape up disses from other players in his locker to help motivate him to dominate on the court.
- Come up with story lines for yourself to help give you something to work with. Position yourself as the underdog, even if you're the best in the room. Pretend that you're overcoming the odds, even if you're doing what you know you can do. Keep that fire lit.
7
Find the one-up. One of the easiest ways to come across as arrogant is in everyday conversations. When someone else tells a story, or lists an accomplishment, don't recognize it or congratulate them, just launch immediately into a related story of your own that's more impressive and spectacular.^{[2]
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Research source}
- Your friend just got back from a vacation at the beach? It should probably remind you of that one time you went snorkeling in Malaysia with local fishermen and lived on the beach in a grass hut.
- If you teach your friend how to do something, you can tell them that you learned how to do it in a few seconds (or however shorter than theirs might be). This will probably make them feel less superior and feel they can never do things as soon as you can.

Part 3

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Staying Respectable

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Be respectful of those who command respect. Never talk down to people you truly value or respect. The purpose of being arrogant is to "tone down" or silence your critics or those who are a little bit more happy with themselves than they should be. It is also one means of keeping a workplace enthralled with you, but it can backfire. It's probably best to never act super-arrogant around:
- Your boss
- Coaches
- Your parents
- Service staff
- Dates
2
Always use manners to your advantage. There's a fine line between arrogance and being a straight-up jerk. Being arrogant does not mean being rude and forgetting basic manners and etiquette around others. Besides, basic manners serve as the means by which you maintain your aloofness and keep others distant in a socially acceptable way.
- Never talk down to wait-staff or other service workers in the interest of cultivating your arrogance. This will make you look weak, petty, and immature.
- Forgetting someone's name might seem like a good way to take them down a peg, but it really just makes you look like a jerk. Respect people enough to treat them with common dignity, up to the point that you dominate them in competition.
3
Know your limits. If you claim to be superior in an area in which you lack the skills or expertise, your arrogance will fall apart and lose its effect. You'll just look like a fool. Make sure to avoid conflicts and confrontations, any competition, in which you don't have at least a sporting chance of winning.
- It's good to learn to lose, so you don't end up looking like a cry-baby after a close loss. Learn to lose with dignity, because no matter how arrogant your self-image, it's going to happen eventually.
4
Live up to the hype. Arrogance should be a type of self-improvement. Think of Michael Jordan and Steve Jobs, arrogant people who came, saw, and conquered, not the arrogance of has-beens. Let your arrogant image of yourself motivate you and force you to new heights.
- Always do what you say you will do. You've got to live up to the hype that you set for yourself, or you'll just come off like an ego-inflated loser, just like any other. When it's your turn on the field of competition, bring it.
5
Find new ladders to climb. It's possible for a lot of arrogant people to end up like 30 year-olds hanging out in the parking lot of the high school they graduated from, talking about the glory days. You don't want to be one of these losers. Keep finding new ladders to climb and challenges to face and ways to improve yourself.
- After winning a championship, do the Jordan move and try out baseball. Aim to be the best at some other related field. After you dominate the world of industry, become the best fly-fisherman you can be. Set endless goals and meet them.

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How can I have more confidence?

Kirin Dejonckheere
Certified Life Coach
Kirin Dejonckheere is a Certified Life Coach based in New York City, NY. Kirin provides both online and in-person 1:1 coaching sessions. She tailors each program to her client’s needs, personality, and desired outcomes. In addition to receiving her Life Coach Practitioner certification in 2020, Kirin is personally mentored by Rob Dial is also a NASM Certified Personal Trainer and Nutrition Coach.

Kirin Dejonckheere

Certified Life Coach

Expert Answer

Confidence starts with tuning into what matters most to you. Your core values. When you live in and align yourself with these values, you’ll feel more grounded and secure in who you are. This means accepting your imperfections, knowing that they’re part of what makes you unique. Don’t let others’ opinions or external pressures dictate your choices; trust yourself to make decisions that reflect your authentic self. Confidence isn’t just about being mentally strong; it also involves embracing vulnerability. Taking care of your body is a powerful way to boost confidence as well. Moving in ways that make you feel capable—whether it’s boxing, running, or even unwinding with a warm bath—impacts your energy and how you feel about yourself. Prioritizing fitness, health, and self-care is like investing in yourself, which radiates confidence outward.

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How can being arrogant help anyone else?

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Arrogant people don't really care about someone else.

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Tips

Real arrogance, when applied properly, gives the impression of your perceived sense of superiority, wealth, and achievement without discussing it. It simply exudes.

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Arrogance is best used with sarcasm or some otherwise cutting remark which does not dispute the statements of others, but uses wordplay to turn other people's words against them. This might mean you have to work hard at increasing your repertoire of come-backs, witty sayings and sarcastic quips.

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Being arrogant is different from boasting your achievements or material wealth. Arrogant people do not need to broadcast the common achievements of life.

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I think, personally, it is in ones best interest to maintain a good sense of who they are rather than trying to drastically change their image. While being arrogant provides some benefits, others may begin to dislike you. Always be polite, respectful, and try to live up to your personal best.
Avoid events that you cannot dominate in every fashion. For example, if you're not good at basketball, don't play it, and tell people how much basketball sucks.
Arrogance is never a good trait. Confidence is what you should be aiming for.

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Some people may not like you and think you're a show-off.

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You are only trying to climb up on the backs of those whom you do not trust or otherwise do not like. Do not do the same around family, friends or valued work colleagues.

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