How to Be Confident at the Gym when You Are Overweight

Co-authored by Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC

Last Updated: March 5, 2024

Going to the gym can be intimidating, but it can be especially daunting if you are overweight. You may think everyone at the gym is more fit than you or that you will be unable to do what others can. However, no matter your weight or fitness level, you can gain confidence to go to the gym by not comparing yourself to other people, realizing people aren’t staring at you, going through your workout slowly, and choosing exercises that you enjoy.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Developing Confidence in Yourself

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1
Realize no one is looking at you. One of the scariest things about going to the gym when you’re overweight or not as fit as you’d like is having other people look at you. However, no one is really going to be looking at you when you are at the gym. Most people at the gym feel the same way you do - they are worried people are looking at them. When you go into the gym, feel confident that just as you are focusing only on your workout, others are doing the same thing.^{[1]
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- Being self-conscious in the gym is very common. Many people who work out feel like they are overweight, not doing the exercise correctly, or comparing themselves to people they think are more fit than they are. Understanding that you are not the only one who may be uncomfortable may help you start to feel more comfortable.^{[2]
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  Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC
  Certified Executive Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 7 October 2021.}
- If someone does look at you like you don’t belong or says something rude, they are being disrespectful and rude. No matter if you are overweight or ripped, you have as much right as everyone else to go to the gym and strive for a healthier lifestyle.
2
Remind yourself that working out is a learning process. Making major lifestyle changes like eating healthy and exercising regularly are learning process. No one is born knowing how to do the exercises they are doing. Try to remind yourself of this the next time you feel uncomfortable at the gym.
- Everyone in the gym had to learn at one point. It is usually a bit intimidating to learn something new, but this uncomfortable feeling of everything being new is a part of the learning curve you are on.
- Even the most advanced gym-goers are learning new things and learning about how to push their limits with something new.
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3
Refrain from comparing yourself to everyone else. One of the worst traps you can get into at the gym is comparing yourself to everyone else. Going to the gym should be a completely self-absorbed activity, where you only worry about yourself. Most of the people at the gym are strangers, and what they think doesn’t matter anyway. Every time you go into the gym and complete a workout, you are one more step towards your goal.^{[3]
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- Of course you will inevitably look around at the people working out. Remember that everyone else started somewhere different from where they are.
- Instead of looking at the fit people, look for the “normal” people. Gyms are full of all sorts of people, including overweight people, older people, and people who are unfit and never exercised in their life. Remember, you are not alone.
4
Do what makes you comfortable. There is not one way for you to exercise at the gym and get fit. If you feel uncomfortable in the exercise machines because you don’t fit in them, skip the exercise machines. Free weights offer better exercise than machines according to most fitness experts. Choose only exercises that make you feel good.^{[4]
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- Just remember not to slack off or not push yourself. Find movements you enjoy and make you want to push yourself.
5
Wear clothes that make you feel confident. Some people treat the gym like a fashion show. However, you need to wear clothes that make you feel comfortable and confident. You can buy yourself a new pair of shorts, new sneakers, or a new shirt to make you feel better, or you can wear clothes that always make you feel good about yourself.
- You may not feel comfortable wearing tank tops or spandex, and you don’t have to. Instead, wear a t-shirt and some basketball shorts or a loose-fitting tank and tights.
- Shirts with motivational or workout-related slogans are becoming more popular. Buy yourself a motivational shirt so that every time you look in the mirror you will feel inspired to work harder.
6
Start off slow. It’s okay that you are not the fittest person at the gym. You are at the gym working on a healthier lifestyle. When you try new things, start off slow. You don’t have to lift as much or go as fast as anyone else. You want to work on your form and increase your strength and endurance slowly. It isn’t a race or a competition.
- Going too fast or trying to lift too much at first can lead to injury.
- Remember, no one started off lifting tons of weight or running fast. Everyone worked up to the level they are.
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Laila Ajani is a Fitness Trainer and founder of Push Personal Fitness, a personal training organization based in the San Francisco Bay Area. With over 13 years as a trainer and exercise specialist, Laila has expertise in competitive athletics (gymnastics, powerlifting, and tennis), personal training, distance running, and Olympic lifting. Laila is certified by the National Strength & Conditioning Association (NSCA), and USA Powerlifting (USAPL), and she is a Corrective Exercise Specialist (CES).

Laila Ajani
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It's normal to face challenges during workouts, especially if you're a beginner or have a unique body shape. Everyone has different fitness levels, so don't hesitate to adjust your workout depending on where you're at. If you're starting, it's a good idea to begin with simple exercises to learn the correct form before moving on to more challenging variations. Choosing exercises that suit your body helps you to achieve your fitness goals safely and effectively.

Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Focusing on Your Workout

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1
Choose one exercise to focus on. You don’t have to conquer everything at once. You don’t have to work on every muscle group at the same time. While you want to get a balanced workout, maybe choose one or two exercises to begin with to help you start to get comfortable at the gym. Think about something you may already be familiar with or something you’ve always wanted to learn.^{[5]
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- For example, you may decide you want to focus on barbell squats. Go into the free weight section and choose your weight. You may only be able to do 35 or 45 pounds, and that is great. Spend a few weeks working on your squat. Hopefully by the end of a couple weeks, you feel more comfortable in the gym and want to try other new exercises.
- You may also decide to focus on the treadmill and the shoulder machine, or doing bicep curls and shoulder presses with hand weights.
- Don’t worry about the guy next to you who can squat or press hundreds of pounds. You are in the gym, working on your goal. That’s impressive and progress for you.
2
Take the hand weights to a different room. If you do not feel confident using the hand weights in the free weight weight, grab what you need and move to a different room. It doesn’t matter if you use the weights in the free weight room or another room. Going to a place you feel more comfortable can give you the confidence to get through the workout.
- Just remember to return the weights after you are finished.
3
Set up sessions with the personal trainer. If you are unsure where to begin at the gym, you can set up personal training sessions with the gym trainers. During the sessions, you and the trainer will come up with a workout plan tailored to your fitness level and goals. This can help you feel confident that you are using a plan that will get you results.^{[6]
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- During training sessions, trainers will be there, coaching and encouraging you. They can help you learn difficult moves and motivate you when you want to give up.
- Personal training sessions can be expensive, so this may not be an option for everyone.
4
Join a group class. Group classes are an excellent way to try new things and work towards your fitness goals. Group classes are given at different times throughout the week and cover a wide variety of exercises. During group classes, you will be exercising alongside other people with an instructor taking you through the routine.
- Instructors are generally encouraging during classes or stay at front of the exercise room as they do the workout with you. You won’t have instructors hovering over you or yelling at you if you have to stop and rest or modify the exercise.
- A group exercise class is a good way to try a new exercise in a low-stress, inclusive environment.
5
Develop a workout plan. When you get to the gym, you should have a workout plan ready. This can help you be more confident. Knowing which machines you want to use, which exercises you want to do, and how many sets and reps you want can help you not feel intimidated or uncomfortable as your workout.
- Having a plan gives you focus for your workout. You will also have goals, and each time you hit one of your exercise goals, you will feel more confident.
6
Work out with a friend. Bringing a friend to the gym can help you feel more confident. Your friend can provide emotional support and motivation, so that you can work out with more confidence. It is always easier to do something that is intimidating when you are not alone.
- Make sure your friend has the same goal in mind as you, that way you end up exercising instead of talking.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Getting Comfortable in the Gym Space

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1
Familiarize yourself with the gym. Many people feel uncomfortable in a gym because they are new to it and feel like they don’t belong. That just means you have to get used to the gym space. After you get your membership, spend some time just walking around. The more familiar you are with a place and the more time you spend in it, the more comfortable you will be there.
- Start by walking around the cardio machines. Look at the treadmills, stationary bikes, and ellipticals.
- Walk around the weight machines. Look at what each one does and which ones you are interested in using.
- Go into the free weights room or section. This room can be the scariest for people. Maybe you’re not ready for barbells, but look at the hand weights. Most gyms have them in weights ranging from five or 10 pounds to 50.
- Check out the pool, spin room, group exercise room, sauna, and locker room. Continue walking around the gym during your next few visits as you get used to this new and potentially nerve-wracking exercise space.
2
Introduce yourself to people at the gym. Getting to know the people at your gym can help to make you feel more comfortable when you visit. You may also get some encouragement from people who go regularly.
- Try starting out by saying “hi” to people you see at the gym often.
- After a few times, you might try introducing yourself to break the ice. For example, you can say, “Hi. My name is ____. I am just getting started here. How long have you been a member?”
- Over time, you may develop friendships with the people at your gym and gain some extra support as you continue your fitness journey.
3
Ask for help from the gym trainers. The people who work in the gym are there to help. If you aren’t sure how to do something, ask them to help you. You will gain confidence once you learn how to properly do moves like squats, deadlifts, or presses. You can also ask for help with machines if you don’t know how they work. They are there to help you, so let them!^{[7]
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- Many gym trainers will take you through machines or the free weight room if you are new to working out. They will help teach you how to properly use the machines or do moves so you can avoid injury.
- Many gym memberships come with one free personal training session. These sessions can be a good time for you to ask questions or get a trainer to help you get started on a workout plan tailored to you.
4
Use your headphones. A good way to be confident in the gym is to listen to your favorite music. Nothing is more motivating than some feel good, pumped-yourself-up tunes. Make a playlist full of songs that make you feel good about yourself and want to move.^{[8]
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- Headphones are a good way to block out other people if you feel uncomfortable.
5
Try a specialized gym. If you are only interested in certain types of exercise, you may consider joining a specialized gym. These gyms only offer classes in a certain area instead of offering a variety of everything. You may feel better and more confident surrounded by people who are interested in the same activity as you.
- For example, you can join gyms for yoga, barre, spin, kickboxing, or CrossFit.
6
Workout during slower gym times. If you are not confident at the gym yet, you can go during slower times when the gym isn’t as busy. During these times, there won’t be as many people around you to make you feel less confident. You may be able to work out in nearly empty rooms, meaning you can try things without feeling like people are watching you.^{[9]
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- Most gyms are busiest in the evenings right after work. During the day and later in the evenings are generally not as busy.

How Do You Build Gym Confidence?

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Question

How do I stop being shy at the gym?

Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC
Certified Executive Coach
Jessica Elliott is a Certified Executive Coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's the founder of LIFETOX, where she hosts mindful experiences and retreats, and J Elliott Coaching, which she provides executive consulting for professionals, teams, and organizations. Jessica has had over fifteen years experience as an entrepreneur and over five years of executive coaching experience. She received her ACC (Associate Certified Coach) accreditation through the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and her CEC (Certified Executive Coach) accreditation through Royal Roads University.

Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC

Certified Executive Coach

Expert Answer

You may not feel like you ‘fit in’ at the gym because of external points of view, such as how the world is wired to view people in certain environments. It’s not your responsibility to fit in; you have a responsibility to show up as you, exactly how you are without apologies.

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How do I beat anxiety at the gym?

Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC
Certified Executive Coach
Jessica Elliott is a Certified Executive Coach and multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's the founder of LIFETOX, where she hosts mindful experiences and retreats, and J Elliott Coaching, which she provides executive consulting for professionals, teams, and organizations. Jessica has had over fifteen years experience as an entrepreneur and over five years of executive coaching experience. She received her ACC (Associate Certified Coach) accreditation through the International Coaching Federation (ICF) and her CEC (Certified Executive Coach) accreditation through Royal Roads University.

Jessica Elliott, ACC, CEC

Certified Executive Coach

Expert Answer

Understand that everyone at some point has felt out of place, and this is a normal feeling. Every single person at that gym has something about themselves that they aren’t fond of, but they still put their gym gear on and showed up for themselves.

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