How to Be More Attractive to Someone at Work

Co-authored by John Keegan

Last Updated: August 9, 2024 References

Becoming attractive to someone at work is definitely worth the effort. Everyone appreciates beauty in their lives, so do your part to make the world more beautiful by becoming more attractive. Dressing well and eating right are just one part of the equation. You’ll also want to adjust your attitude by being more positive and confident. Whether your efforts are directed at a coworker you're romantically inclined toward, or you're just seeking to become more pleasant generally, becoming more attractive and charming at work will make you feel good.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Grooming Yourself to Be More Attractive

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1
Dress in attractive, work-appropriate clothing. Attend carefully to how you dress.^{[1]
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Research source} How you look plays a big part in attracting the attention and admiration of folks in the office. Go for office chic and classics (tasteful suit and tie for a man, modest dress or skirt and blouse for a woman), while steering clear of outfits you might wear for clubbing or a bar night out with friends.
- If you have to wear a uniform at work, consider dressing it up with accessories or sharp shoes. If that's not allowed, always aim for impeccable grooming.
- Select designs that accentuate your shape, while still having a professional, business flair. If you wear scrubs or a specific uniform for work, the best way you can ensure you look good is to have it tailored to fit your shape. Otherwise, choose outfits that compliment your body type. Avoid wearing low cut tops or outfits that are too tight.
- Avoid showing too much skin. While showing some cleavage or your bulging biceps at the bar may be the usual socializing way to attract someone you're interested in, doing so at the office is a no-no and may earn you an unwanted reputation. Refer to your common sense (and your employee handbook) to ensure you remain within corporate dress code, while accentuating your best features. Check out others around you if you're not sure where the line is drawn.
- Regardless of your gender, wear red, even if it’s just a trim of red, or a red shirt with white blouse or dark suit. Both sexes are more attracted to potential mates wearing red than those in wearing other colors.^{[2]
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Fashion your hair. Men could consider getting a pompadour or Freeman’s cut. The Freeman’s cut leaves several inches on top while keeping it close, possibly fading up, on the sides. The pompadour evokes a classic, effortless cool like that of James Dean, with a longer, textured top and tapered sides. ^{[3]
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Research source} Don’t try to perfect your hair; a little messiness is masculine and sexy.
- Women can wear any number of styles -- short, long, curly, straight -- but to attract a coworker, the important thing is to keep it looking nice.
- Hair which is greasy, too loaded with hairspray or product, or dyed unnatural colors tends to turn men off.
- Wash and condition your hair every couple days (washing every day can strip essential oils from your scalp).
- If you want to dye your hair, stick with red, black, blonde, or brown.
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Research source} Don’t bathe yourself in the stuff, but utilize it to enhance and compliment your natural scent. Women, especially, tend to use scent in order to determine whether a partner is compatible with them.
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Keep your facial elements symmetrical. Shave evenly on both sides of your face to ensure your facial hair is balanced. Alternately, when growing a beard or mustache, make sure it comes in evenly. Women might interpret patchy facial hair on an unconscious biological level as indicative of a man in poor health.^{[5]
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Research source} Women should apply makeup carefully in order to achieve a balanced skin tone.
- The one exception is your haircut: it’s okay to have an asymmetrical part, but don’t give yourself a dramatic comb-over.
- Both men and women should think about tweezing their eyebrows. Bushy, uneven brows are not attractive.
A diet full of whole grains, fruits, and vegetables will give your skin a healthy glow.^{[6]
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Research source} Produce is loaded with antioxidants and natural pigments which add a rosy hue to your cheeks. Eat about two cups of fruit and three cups of veggies each day in order to meet the recommended daily allotment.^{[7]
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Trustworthy Source

USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion
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USDA Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion
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Get in shape. Visit the gym to work out more.^{[9]
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Research source} Do both cardiovascular exercises (like running and biking) and strength training (like lifting weights or doing squats). Becoming trim and fit is an easy way to make yourself more attractive. Even when you’re in a job where you can’t show off your six-pack abs or chiseled calves, people will notice when you’ve lost weight and gained energy.
- Work on improving your posture to help you seem more attractive.^{[10]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
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Change your facial expression. The level of attraction men and women possess varies with different facial expressions.^{[11]
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Research source} Women appear more attractive to potential mates when they smile more. Men, on the other hand, appear more attractive to women when they look brooding, proud, and powerful. Place your hands on your hips when standing, walk with pride, and make eye contact with people. Pound your fist on the table to make a point when addressing people.
- To look more brooding, furrow your brow. Imagine you’re slightly worried about something. Don’t frown, but don’t smile either. Keep your mouth in a straight, tight line.
- To look more powerful, you could also practice power poses. Stand, don’t sit, were possible. Lean forward on the table with both arms splayed out in a “V” when addressing someone. Do not cross your arms or sit with your hands in your lap.^{[12]
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  Research source} Both men and women benefit from using open body language like uncrossing your arms and standing upright. Try using open body language to boost your sex appeal.^{[13]
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  Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences
  Official peer-reviewed and multidisciplary journal for the National Academy of Sciences.
  
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  Research source} While seated, gay men and straight women might employ the face platter -- a pose in which the hands are placed over each other and then under the chin, with the elbows resting on the table.^{[15]
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- Gay men should also try smiling or laughing more often to attract members of the same sex.^{[16]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Changing Your Attitude at Work in Order to Be More Attractive

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1
Decide why you want to become more attractive to someone at work. Do you want to get a raise or promotion? Do you want to persuade your coworkers to support one of your pet projects? Or do you simply want to date someone you work with? All these things are easier when people find you attractive.^{[17]
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- Dating a coworker can be messy. If this is your goal, carefully consider the repercussions if the relationship were to go south: you might get fired, transferred, reassigned, or just have to endure an unpleasant work environment where you face your ex every day.^{[18]
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  Expert Source
  
  John Keegan
  Dating Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
- If you do decide to date a coworker, keep it under wraps for now. Wait until you know how you feel about the whole situation and what your future plans are before sharing with other colleagues and friends.
- Reader Poll: We asked 944 wikiHow readers about how to cope with romantic feelings for a coworker, and only 8% said that they’d confide in a trusted friend or mentor. [Take Poll]
2
Stay focused on your special someone. Don’t try to become more attractive to everyone at work. Do not date multiple people in your workplace or you may get a bad reputation. Dress and tailor your appearance to appeal to the individual whose affections you seek.
- Find out what the person whose interest you’re trying to attract is into. What makes them laugh? What impresses them? What music do they like to listen to? Having a common interest with someone will make you more attractive in their eyes.
Certain physical positions can nonverbally express that you’re available and interested in someone. When you show you’re interested, the person you want to appear more attractive to will see it as a green light and if they’re interested too, they will reciprocate. Laugh loudly or spread your arms out if you’re a man. If you’re a woman, make eye contact, look down for a bit and gather or comb your hair. Then, look up at the person you want to attract without bringing your chin up.^{[19]
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Show an interest in your coworkers.^{[20]
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Research source} Be friendly without coming on too strong. There’s a fine line between acting interested in your coworker's life and being potentially invasive. Be approachable and act interested in all of your coworkers, but don’t go overboard with personal comments or questions.
- Ask very open-ended questions (“How are you?”, “What are you working on these days?”) about your co-worker's personal and working life and let them give you the cue as to how much information they're willing to share.
- Remember people’s names and their life details. People tend to find you more attractive when you continue to call them by name and if you demonstrate that you actually know something personal about them. For example, you could say, “Hi Bob, how was your mom’s 75th birthday party last weekend?” Remembering these specifics shows that you care, which definitely makes you attractive to others.
- Spend time establishing your ability to be confidential. Once they know you're a good listener, they'll find you more attractive.
- Don't support office gossip or undermining talk. Let others know that you won't be drawn into gossip or casting aspersions on others in the workplace.
Be willing to help a coworker in need without looking for something in return. Be generous with your time and earn the reputation that you're the kind of person who is helpful without being conditional. Assisting others with no hope of reward is the kind of quality which attracts others.
^{[21]
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Research source} Praise their work in public and private. “Great job on that report” is a kind comment which will make them feel good. You can also, within reason, praise a coworker’s appearance. “That’s a nice tie” is an acceptable compliment which could attract your coworker. “Your butt looks great in those pants” is an inappropriate comment which constitutes sexual harassment.^{[22]
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Expert Source

John Keegan
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 5 November 2019.}
Consult coworkers for their insight and solicit their participation in projects or even a personal dilemma, depending on the extent of trust within your relationship. During a group project, turn to a coworker and ask what he/she thinks about a certain statistic or idea. Bringing people together and getting involved can be pretty sexy, especially when individuals feel that you have personally made an effort to help their talents shine in front of others.
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Treat trusted and admired coworkers as friends. Make yourself more attractive to others in the office by forming more personal relationships with those coworkers you feel a connection with.
- Plan outings, dinners, and events with your coworkers so you grow closer with them.
- Be as inclusive as possible of other coworkers you're less inclined to want to spend outside-of-work time with. Have a chat at the water cooler, find out about their pets or children, and ask after them regularly. In other words, spread your charm around.
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Impress your coworkers with your hard work.^{[23]
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Research source} What's more appealing in a workplace setting than a brainy individual? A brainy individual who does what he or she sets out to do! Demonstrate your powerhouse intellect while working on a collaborative project or presentation, in a way that bolsters everyone's participation and leaves nobody out. Always be subtle, and don’t brag.
- Be a dependable, stand-out employee––someone that every coworker (and boss) knows will get the job done above and beyond expectations.
- Be that “go to” person that everyone knows is the best man or woman for the job. More than being just someone to "go to", be a willing guide, teacher or mentor to others. When everyone knows you're willing to both listen and give useful advice, you'll attract positive attention.

Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Becoming More Attractive By Adjusting Your Personality

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1
Be a happy, positive person.^{[24]
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Research source} People generally gravitate toward positive, engaging personalities and dislike grumpy, standoffish folks. People are more attracted to individuals who seem to laugh and smile more often. Take time to appreciate the little things at work and when you see coworkers in the morning, make eye contact, smile and greet them by name. Praise the good things they do.
- When you encounter difficulties, try not to let them get you down. Think of them as opportunities to help you grow through challenging yourself to rise above adversity.
- Don’t worry about problems at work or at home; have confidence you’ll solve them when they need to be solved.
- Don’t dwell on workplace mistakes. Instead, celebrate your successes and those of others.
- At office parties, seek to be the life of such a party without becoming the butt of office jokes. Avoid getting hammered and doing something extremely embarrassing (which would definitely take you off the running list of being the attractive person in the office). Instead, maintain a clear head and approach parties as networking opportunities and as a chance to make your awesomeness even more evident.
2
Be comfortable in your own skin.^{[25]
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Research source} Confidence shows in the way you carry and present yourself at work. Don’t boast about how great you are––instead, walk with pride, make eye contact and smile.
- Maintain good posture at all times. How you carry yourself sends a clear message to those around you. Standing and sitting tall and walking confidently but with ease will let people know that you have self-respect and personal dignity, qualities which are supremely attractive.
3
Be courageous. If you want to have an attractive personality, be courageous at work. Make decisions that you stand by because you believe in their worth, even when others do not. Share your vision for project outcomes even when others are groaning that it's not possible. Having the confidence and courage to voice positivity and take chances others won’t can make you very appealing.
- Avoid being arrogant or aloof. Instead, be humbly confident in your skills and aptitude. Although you should already be competent and able in your current role, make every effort to avoid coming across as conceited about what you do. There’s a fine line between letting your smarts shine and being a braggart. Avoid “tooting your own horn” or pointing out that you think you're smarter or more capable than another coworker.

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How can I flirt with someone at work?

John Keegan
Dating Coach
John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

John Keegan

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

If you're interested in someone at work, try holding regular conversations with them to learn more about them. As you get to know each other, start giving them compliments or lightly touching their arm while you're talking. Just make sure the other person is comfortable with your advances.

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Tips

Be willing to let your true personality shine––a person who is comfortable in his or her own skin will always attract the interest of others.

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Self-composure is always more attractive than being angry, aggressive or intimidating. In the workplace, this is even more marked as people gravitate to a calm and composed person who can be relied on to think clearly under pressure. Be that composed and calm person, even if it means practicing over and over again until this becomes second nature to you. Meditation, practicing mindfulness, getting therapy and being active are some ways to overcome negative feelings that might otherwise derail your determination to remain composed.

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Warnings

There’s no room for taking clothing or behavior to the extreme in order to be the attractive person in the office. Grace and class trumps cheap attempts when trying to be more attractive.

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