How to Be More Confident at School

Co-authored by Katie Styzek and Jessica Gibson

Last Updated: June 24, 2024 Approved

School challenges people in different ways–whether you're starting out middle school, high school, or college. If you find it hard to speak up or you're afraid to try new things, work on building your confidence. You may find that developing a positive mindset, doing things you enjoy, and being around friends makes school a little easier. To help, we've gathered some great suggestions on how to become more self-assured at school.

1

Remind yourself of your good qualities.

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Think about the skills, personality traits, and qualities that you're proud of. We all have days where we feel down about ourselves, but you have lots of great qualities! Take some time to think about or write down things that you like about yourself. Get out your journal or diary and make a list. This way you can remind yourself whenever you're feeling down.
- For example, you might love that you're compassionate and great at sports, or you might be proud that you're a little weird and fiercely loyal to your friends.

2

Silence your inner critic.

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Don't think negative things about yourself. Sure, we've all felt like we've made mistakes or that we could do better, but if you're constantly telling yourself that you can't achieve things or make friends, you'll start to believe it. Pay attention to the negative thoughts you have and put a stop to them.^{[1]
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- If you start to think something negative, switch your focus and do something different like listening to music, going for a run, or focusing on a different subject.
- It might help to write down the negative thoughts you have. Then, read through them to find where they're coming from. Try to stop the source of these harmful thoughts.

3

Don't let mistakes stop you.

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Learn from the mistake and move on. Instead of beating yourself up about it, think about what you learned or what you'd do differently next time, and keep going. Being afraid to make mistakes can stop you from learning and growing, so embrace them! Remember, everyone makes mistakes, even the most confident people.^{[2]
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- You might mentally tell yourself, "I messed up on that test, but now I know what to study for next time."

4

Laugh at yourself.

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Don't take yourself too seriously if you mess up or embarrass yourself. You're human! Recognize that something funny happened and move on. The more you can laugh at yourself, the less pressure you put on yourself to do everything right. When people see that you can laugh at yourself, they may think you are confident.^{[3]
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- This might take a little practice, but you'll become comfortable with humor over time.

5

Wear clothes that make you feel empowered.

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Whatever you choose, wear something that makes you feel good about yourself. You might put on your favorite outfit that you've had forever or splurge and treat yourself to new clothes. If you're self-conscious about your clothes, you probably won't be as outgoing and bold as you could be.^{[4]
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- For example, if you love the way your favorite sweater makes you feel, wear it with a pair of jeans. If you've been saving up to buy a new top, get it and wear it to school!
- Play up what you like about your appearance. For example, if you love your green eyes, wear purple or green clothes that really make your eyes pop.
- Don't forget that you should be comfortable in your outfit, especially since you have to make it through the whole school day. Skip uncomfortable shoes or clothes that don't fit quite right.

6

Ask questions to be part of the conversation.

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Get the answers you need while looking confident. Instead of staying silent and hoping that someone will ask the teacher what you want to find out, stick your hand up and ask away! The teacher will think that you're interested in the class and you'll find out what you needed to know.^{[5]
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- If you find it hard to ask questions, set yourself a goal of asking 1 question in class every day. You may find that the more often you do this, the easier it becomes.
- Still afraid of asking questions in front of the class? Stick around after class or get there early to ask the teacher your question.

7

Practice putting yourself out there.

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Overcome your shy tendencies by socializing or talking in class. If you're used to putting your head down or waiting for others to speak, push yourself to raise your hand. Try to take little steps every day so you gradually build confidence.^{[6]
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- Trying to socialize more? Say hi to someone new or ask someone how they're doing. Work your way up to longer conversations once you get to know the person and feel more comfortable.

8

Work on being a good student.

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Attend your classes, take notes, and do the homework. If you make the effort to learn, you'll feel more confident that you know the material. This can make it easier to take part in class discussions, answer questions, or take tests without anxiety.^{[7]
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- If you know you'll be missing class, ask a classmate to take notes for you or get your assignments.

9

Try a new skill, class, or club.

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Develop your interests or make new friends. Think about the subjects and activities that you enjoy. Then, find ways to take classes or join clubs that you're passionate about. Chances are, you'll meet people that share the same interests and they may be easier to talk to.^{[8]
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Expert Source

Katie Styzek
School Counselor

Expert Interview. 25 November 2020.}
- For example, if you like German language class, join your school's German club. This gives you social opportunities to interact with schoolmates in a more casual setting.
- You might be scared to try out for a team you really want to join. Go to tryouts feeling confident in your abilities to play and to improve. Remember that you don’t have to be an expert to get on the team, you just have to be willing to improve.

10

Say a few positive affirmations.

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Give yourself a pep talk when you need a confidence boost. If you know you'll be taking a test, talking in front of the class, or answering the teacher's questions, you might need extra self-assurance. Instead of panicking, take a few moments to remind yourself of your knowledge or abilities. Sit up straight and breathe deeply so you feel empowered.^{[9]
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- For example, you could mentally remind yourself, "I've studied hard and I know this material," or, "Everyone's probably feeling nervous about this quiz, so I'm not alone."

Expert Q&A

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How can I improve my self-esteem at school?

Katie Styzek
School Counselor
Katie Styzek is a Professional School Counselor for Chicago Public Schools. Katie earned a BS in Elementary Education with a Concentration in Mathematics from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She served as a middle school mathematics, science, and social studies teacher for three years prior to becoming a counselor. She holds a Master of Education (M.Ed.) in School Counseling from DePaul University and an MA in Educational Leadership from Northeastern Illinois University. Katie holds an Illinois School Counselor Endorsement License (Type 73 Service Personnel), an Illinois Principal License (formerly Type 75), and an Illinois Elementary Education Teaching License (Type 03, K – 9). She is also Nationally Board Certified in School Counseling from the National Board for Professional Teaching Standards.

Katie Styzek

School Counselor

Expert Answer

I suggest making a list of all your best and most helpful qualities. Read over it each morning to remind yourself of what you have to offer the world!

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How do I get so confident that I don't care about people's comments on my appearance?

AbigailAbernathy

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Understand that people only bully others because have low self-esteem and need an outlet, so they try to deflect their thoughts from themselves. Do not take anyone's comments personally.

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How can I feel confident when a person makes fun of me then everybody else laughs?

Community Answer

Just laugh it off! I know it sound weird, but if you laugh with them, they'll see that they can't pull you down as easily as they thought. When people realize that you don't care about what they say, they will stop it because it starts getting boring.

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Develop close friendships or work with a study group. Getting to know a few people really well can do wonders for your self-esteem!

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