How to Be Serious

Co-authored by Guy Reichard

Last Updated: October 10, 2023 References

Do you want to live a more serious, grounded life and have people take you more seriously? Being serious is a state of mind that can help you stay focused and make healthier, more rational decisions. It can also help you grow professionally and develop better relationships. Check out the tips below to learn how you can start living more seriously and start commanding the respect you deserve.

Method 1

Method 1 of 5:

Staying Focused

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1
Train your brain. If you have trouble staying focused, it can help to think of your brain as a muscle, and just like the rest of your muscles, it needs to be exercised to be effective at its job.^{[1]
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- Set aside a time of day to practice focusing on a single task.
- Start small-just take a few minutes at first each day to really make yourself fully focus on single task. If and when you find your mind wandering, immediately return to the task at hand.
- If you realize you've drifted off task, that's half the battle!
- Remove distractions and focus more by practicing mindfulness and presence. Since we can notice all sorts of distractions in our daily lives, make a list of the most common distractions we experience and make a real or mental note to remove them from our environment.
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Realize that everything you do has a result. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you choose to do does have consequences-often in ways you can't foresee or possibly know of. Being serious involves recognizing what most needs your attention, and focusing on it.
- Always avoid procrastination. Not only does procrastinating cause stress and contribute to depression and anxiety, it can be a major factor in reducing overall productivity and leading to unintended consequences. ^{[2]
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- Example: I need to trim a dead tree branch hanging over my house. Instead I decide I'll do it later and play a video game now. Later that day, my friend calls, and desperately needs a ride from the airport. The branch doesn't get trimmed. That night there's a huge windstorm. The branch falls and punches a hole in my roof. Now, instead of simply trimming a tree branch, I have to get my roof fixed, too! Take care of what needs attention first-you may regret it if you don't.
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Multitasking makes us feel like we're being productive, but in reality too much multitasking can cause distraction and lessen our effectiveness. Take each task individually, get it done, and move on to the next.
Getting the most difficult or least pleasant tasks out of the way first will give you a huge boost and reduce the possibility of procrastination. After getting the biggest obstacle out of the way, the other items on your list will seem like a breeze. ^{[3]
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Method 2

Method 2 of 5:

Prioritizing Tasks

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Make a list. Make a list the night before of the day's tasks in order of urgency and importance.
- If you have a smartphone, then you have a powerful organizational tool at your fingertips! There are many useful apps for creating a concise and helpful to do list. Using an app can also help you keep your lists organized, rather than creating a sea of paper. ^{[4]
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- Remember, put the most difficult tasks at the top of your list.
Starting the day with a positive accomplishment, however small, gets the ball of accomplishment for the rest of the day rolling. Then look at your prioritized list. Take each item one at a time, and let each task completed be a segue into the next. After each task is accomplished, the next words out of an effective and serious person's mouth are, "what's next?". Let that be your mantra. Always ask yourself, "what's next?".
But don't get sidetracked! Specify what your break will entail. Think, "I'll finish this episode of my favorite show while I eat this banana, then back to the task at hand." Stick to it-once you let yourself slide off the schedule, it's a slippery slope to accomplishing nothing at all.
Recognize that time is finite, and think of it as a resource. Be aware of the time you spend on a task. Don't become so swept up in mundane details that you waste time on things that don't matter. Ask yourself, "how is the time I'm spending on this advancing me toward my goal? ^{[5]
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Research source} Be able to put things aside that are holding you back from accomplishing what you set out to accomplish, or, if the way you've chosen to go about a task isn't working, try something else. Be flexible; be malleable. Be able to bend without breaking.
Knowing your limits isn't limiting, but freeing! Accepting that you have accomplished tasks to the best of your abilities is hugely rewarding. Remember, completing any task gives you a boost to accomplish more. Take simple steps, and continue to do so, and over time you will accomplish a great deal.
Some rules can be changed and others cannot. Having the grace to change what you can and accept what you cannot is huge in being a more serious person. To fret over mundane details of life you wish could be different, but know deep down cannot, is to limit yourself. When you come upon an immovable obstacle, go around it, and proceed on your course.

Method 3

Method 3 of 5:

Maintaining a Mature and Professional Demeanor

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1
Look ahead, not back. As we grow older, we tend to want to hang on to youthful behaviors. Everyone goes through periods of conflict between the desire to be carefree and just have fun, and being mature and responsible. Let’s face it-often being mature and serious is the less immediately pleasant way of living life. However, being more serious in life involves realizing that the long term benefits of being responsible and taking care of business outweigh hedonistic pleasures.
- Wake everyday with the intention of being mature.
- Be aware each morning that some of the decisions ahead in your day will involve foregoing fun in favor of accomplishment.
If you want to be serious, be aware of how your everyday behavior reflects that. You are how you act, so making the effort to be serious and mature in your actions throughout the day, even the small things, is important to truly being serious.
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Be in control of your emotions. One of the most important part of being mature is having the ability to control your emotions, rather than them controlling you. ^{[6]
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- Consider your feelings carefully before acting on them. Act, don’t react. When you behave with maturity, you’re using the rational and reasoning side of yourself rather than the animalistic, instinctual side.
- When someone speaks to you, especially in moments of conflict, pause and consider your reply with a cool head before responding. What first pops into your head isn’t always the best thing to say. Think before you speak.
- Apply that to actions especially. Actions speak louder than words, so be especially aware of how your actions reflect on your level of maturity. Do you act only after cooly thinking out your course, or do you react without consider the consequences?
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Love yourself. Part of being mature is recognizing that you have worth. It’s often easier to beat oneself up over mistakes than to learn from them. ^{[7]
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Research source} If you want to be more mature and live a more serious life, make the effort to respect yourself and value yourself.
- Treat your body with respect. Eat well, and get plenty of exercise and sleep.
- Keep friends who value you, get rid of people who don’t. Friends will respect you and understand that you are special for being you. Everyone crosses paths with people who do not do those things. You have no obligation to keep them around. Part of maturity is making the tough decisions about who we associate with.

Method 4

Method 4 of 5:

Taking Pride in Yourself and your Appearance

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Being self aware doesn't mean you are being shy or embarrassed, aspects we usually associate with self-consciousness, but that you have the capacity to reflect on yourself, both inwardly and outwardly.
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Practice good hygiene. Taking pride in oneself enough to practice good hygiene is important in being a serious and meaningful person. It is also healthier and will simply help you feel good!
- Keep your hair and fingernails trimmed.
- Brush your teeth at least twice daily. Practicing good oral hygiene not only shows others that you are a serious and put together person, but it also helps protect against bacterial infection and is beneficial for your health overall.^{[8]
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Wear clothes that you want to wear, and that are neat, is important in showing that you are a serious person. It doesn't have to mean that you are vain or overly self-conscious, but simply that you care enough about your own well being to take care of yourself.

Method 5

Method 5 of 5:

Remembering the Golden Rule

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Be helpful to other human beings. It is so easy in today's world to become focused on "me" that we often forget that one of the most rewarding and productive things we can do is to focus on the well-being of others.
- When you are helpful to others, even in small, everyday ways, you will find that your overall sense of your own well being will greatly increase and your confidence in the tasks and goals you have before you will be much greater.
- Greater confidence in yourself and your own abilities results in much higher personal productivity, and, in turn, will help you to become a more serious person.
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Volunteer. Get involved in local volunteer opportunities. In 2013 alone, over 62 million Americans engaged in some form of volunteer work. ^{[9]
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- Do you have a soft spot for kids? For old folks? For animals? Maybe you'd like to help maintain trails at a local park, or feed the homeless in a soup kitchen. Volunteer opportunities abound everywhere, especially in urban centers.
- Even a couple hours a week, or even a month, can help give you a sense of focus and purpose in your life. Volunteering not only makes you feel good about yourself, it connects you with others, increases your social skills, combats depression, and helps keep you healthy.
When you do to others as you would have done to yourself, you create a loop of goodwill. This isn't just for morality's sake; the more you show goodwill to others, the more likely they will be to contribute to your own advancement.

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You live in an environment, so make it incredible. Surround yourself with you. Take the time to clean, to furnish your dwelling and work space and make it your own. When you are in control of your environment, you are in control of yourself.

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Take the time to step back and look at what you've achieved. Remember, having a sense of pride about accomplishing will help motivate you to accomplish even more!

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