This article was co-authored by Lynda Jean. Lynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’
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Being social can help you build meaningful connections, come out of your shell, and feel less isolated. You don't even have to be a social butterfly in order to talk to people. All you need is good instincts, confidence, and some basic conversational skills. Once you're comfortable talking to people, you can work on making plans with them and spending more time socializing. If you want to know how to be social, see Step 1 to be on your way.
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QuestionHow can I be social at a party when I don't know anyone?Lynda JeanLynda Jean is an Image Consultant and the Owner of Lynda Jean Image Consulting. With over 15 years of experience, Lynda specializes in color and body/style analysis, wardrobe audits, personal shopping, social and professional etiquette, and personal and business branding. She works with clients to enhance their image, self-esteem, behavior, and communication to facilitate their social and career goals. Lynda holds Bachelor degrees in Sociology and Social Work, a Master’s degree in Clinical Social Work, and a Certified Image Consultant (CIC) certification. She studied Image Consulting at the International Image Institute and the International Academy of Fashion and Technology in Toronto, Canada. Lynda has taught Image Consulting courses at George Brown College in Toronto, Canada. She is the co-author of the book, “Business Success With Ease,” where she shares her knowledge about, ‘The Power of Professional Etiquette.’
Communication ConsultantGet up and walk around. Don't sit down. Smile at people. If there's a group of two people, it's best not to intervene, but if there are three people, the suggestion is that it might be a more casual conversation. So what you do is just break and enter, because eventually one person will turn and see you. Then you can make eye contact, smile, and say, "Do you mind if I join you?" -
QuestionI just moved from China to America a few months ago and I'm in 8th grade. I'm really afraid of making grammar and vocabulary mistakes while I'm talking to people. What should I do?Giselle DaSilvaCommunity AnswerDon’t be afraid. If somebody makes fun of you just say, “I’m not the best at speaking English, but I bet I speak better Chinese than you!”. Just keep talking to people until you find a kind person who accepts you. A true friend won’t make fun of you.
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QuestionI'm really bad at talking to people, and I'm not sure how much eye contact I should make when talking to them.Anderson BridgesCommunity AnswerIt's okay if you're not good at talking to people. It happens to lots of us, so don't feel ashamed of it. As for eye contact, look them in the eye most of the time, but don't stare them down.
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If the idea of being more social seems overwhelming to you, start with small steps, like smiling and being friendly when people approach you. It may be a bit scary at first, but it’s perfectly okay to say “hello” and make small talk, like commenting about the weather or complimenting the person’s outfit. If you’re ready for a more proactive approach, try introducing yourself to someone new instead of awkwardly smiling or looking away from the person. You should also work on saying “yes” more often when someone invites you to go out or attend an event. While you may be worried about not having a good time or not knowing what to expect, keep in mind that you can always leave when you want to. For more advice, including how to develop social bonds that turn into friendships, keep reading!