How to Have an Attractive Personality

Co-authored by Kirsten Parker, MFA

Last Updated: October 12, 2024 Approved

VIDEO

Being attractive comes more from your personality than from your appearance, and demonstrating an attractive personality is key to making friends and having lasting relationships. To have an attractive personality, cultivate the ability to communicate naturally, develop a sense of humor, and build a confident disposition. These traits give you the ability to inspire and fascinate others, making others more drawn to you as a result.

Top Traits of an Attractive Personality

Humor
Emotional intelligence
Respect
Confidence
Optimism
Empathy
Humility

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Communication

Listening is a trait that is often forgotten about in today's society. Instead of responding to a text, opening an email, or thinking about your next meal, pay attention to what the other person is saying. Show them you're listening and interested by commenting on the story or asking questions.^{[1]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.}
2
Speak sincerely. No one likes to be duped. Tell people the truth. If you can't commit to something, it's better to be honest about it than to have to tell them last minute that you can't make it. When people ask for your opinion, you should be honest.
- There is a difference between honest and rude opinions. For instance, if you don't like your friend's shirt and they ask you about it, respond with, “I really like you in blue instead,” rather than, “I hate it, it's ugly.”
Advertisement
How you say things is arguably more important than what you say. If you try to give someone a genuine compliment, but they think you say it with a sarcastic undertone, your compliment won't mean a thing. Be aware of the way you speak. If you notice that people often take things you say the wrong way, there's a good chance you can change how you speak. Ask your friends to make you aware of the way you're coming across.
Get a bunch of people together for a fun get together. It can be as simple as a gathering at the park, or as extravagant as an elegant dinner party. Either way, it shows them that you care and want to spread friendship.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Humor

1
Laugh at yourself. If you do something silly, laugh at yourself instead of feeling embarrassed. It shows that you're comfortable in your skin. A sense of humor makes someone more engaging and delightful to be with.
- Remember that there is a time and place for humor. It is a great ice-breaker or stress reliever, but don't ruin a serious conversation with inappropriate jokes.
Even if something makes you slightly uncomfortable, attack it with a smile on your face, an open mind, and a sense of humor. Not every day is going to be perfect, but being enthusiastic can help you accomplish anything. When you act this way, people will love being around you.
3
Make laughing a priority. Laughing at yourself isn't quite enough if you want the most attractive personality. If you see value in making others laugh and keep laughter higher on your priority list, you'll be a happier person.^{[2]
X
Research source}
- A great way to remind you to laugh more (and to share it with others) is to have daily jokes on your phone or email. Set them for a time of day when you notice yourself start to feel drained.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Confidence

1
Have confidence in how you speak and act. You should always say what you believe in, be willing to take risks, and have the ability to admit your mistake without being worried about what other people will think. Doing this shows that you have self-confidence.^{[3]
X
Expert Source

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach

Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.} This helps create an attractive personality because it shows that you're comfortable with yourself and that makes others comfortable around you.^{[4]
X
Research source}
- Asking questions is important when it comes to confidence. The more you know, the more comfortable you'll feel when speaking about things. Never be afraid to ask questions.
- Avoid comparing yourself with other people as well to help get rid of self-doubt.^{[5]
  X
  Expert Source
  
  Kirsten Parker, MFA
  Mindset & Action Coach
  
  Expert Interview. 22 July 2020.}
2
Have confidence in your body. Dressing appropriately and having good posture show confidence. You don't have to have the “perfect body” to be confident in it. People will be more attracted to you if you dress well, respect yourself, and carry yourself well.
- If you need a little boost, place post-it's around your mirror that remind you of the parts of your body that you love. Focus on these rather than the things that you're self-conscious about.^{[6]
  X
  Research source}
While confidence is endearing, cockiness is very unappetizing. People will turn away from your personality if you're all about yourself. A great way to avoid this is to remind yourself to compliment others. Every day, find 5 people to give compliments to. They can be strangers, co-workers, or friends. Either way, this will help you stay grounded.

Join the Discussion...

Best tips on how to be more attractive

26

WikiAxolotlDancer711

I know "beauty is subjective" but what are some actionable steps I can take to be just generally better-looking/attractive to others? I don't thi... Read More

WikiMistRider890

Surefire ways to become more attractive:
1. Practice being more confident (not cocky). Notice I said practice: it's something you develop by... Read More

WikiMountainCat42

If you have some friends with decent style who can be brutally honest with you, get them to help you figure out how you can be more attractive! I... Read More

See all 3 Replies and

Read Discussion

Be Charismatic with this Expert Series

Do you want to be the kind of person who lights up a room? Learn how to attract people to you and be the most charismatic version of yourself with this expert series.

1

Have a Great Personality

2

Have an Attractive Personality

3

Make Your Personality Stand Out

4

Be Likable

5

Make People Want to Be Around You

6

Groom Your Personality

Expert Q&A

Search

Add New Question

Question

What are some attractive personality traits?

Eddy Baller
Dating Coach
Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others.

Eddy Baller

Dating Coach

Expert Answer

Show genuine interest in the other person by listening to them with your full attention when they're speaking.

Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
Thank you for your feedback.
If wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission. Support wikiHow
Yes No

Not Helpful 6 Helpful 102

Ask a Question

200 characters left

Include your email address to get a message when this question is answered.

Submit

Video

Reader Videos

Tips

Exercise and a good diet are a great way to keep energy levels high and confidence in your body.

Thanks
Helpful 8 Not Helpful 0
Don't change yourself. Even if people don't agree with everything that you say or do, they'll appreciate that you're true to yourself.

Thanks
Helpful 7 Not Helpful 0
You don't have to be outgoing to have all of these qualities. A shy person can exude these traits just as easily as an outgoing person can.

Thanks
Helpful 8 Not Helpful 1

Show More Tips

Tips from our Readers

The advice in this section is based on the lived experiences of wikiHow readers like you. If you have a helpful tip you’d like to share on wikiHow, please submit it in the field below.

When you get angry at someone, get some alone time to cool off and think about the situation, instead of acting rashly.
Be realistic, but always try to see the positives and the silver linings in any situation.

Submit a Tip

All tip submissions are carefully reviewed before being published

Name

Please provide your name and last initial

Submit

Thanks for submitting a tip for review!