This article was co-authored by Adam Dorsay, PsyD and by wikiHow staff writer, Janice Tieperman. Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean’s Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk about men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.
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Empathy, or the ability to understand what another person is going through, can be a tough skill to master. How do you say the right thing without coming off the wrong way? Don’t worry. There are plenty of ways you can become more empathetic in your daily life.
Here are 10 steps you can take to become a more understanding person.
Steps
Community Q&A
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QuestionWhy is being understanding important?Community AnswerBeing understanding is taking a look at a situation from another point of view. With so many different personality types, backgrounds, circumstances, etc., it's hard to know exactly how two different people will react to the same situation. As a result, trying to set aside your cognitive biases and exploring different points of view will help you better relate to other people and improve your empathy overall.
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QuestionHow can I be kind and understanding?Drew Hawkins1Community AnswerTry doing a mental empathy exercise to practice and improve your ability to understand other people, which can in turn make you kinder. Take some time to think about your friends and loved ones. What has their mood been like the past few times that you've seen them? Did they seem more quiet than usual? Try mentally walking through a day in their life and think about what could make them happy, sad, angry, or any other emotion. Think about whether anything you've said or done could add anything negative to their lives. Just simply taking time to consider what someone else is going though can help improve your empathy towards them.
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QuestionHow can I be kind and positive?Drew Hawkins1Community AnswerOne way to be kinder is to meet and talk to new people. The more people you get to know, the more empathy and understanding you'll have. Try striking up a conversation with a colleague that you don't speak to often or a complete stranger. If they seem interested, keep chatting with them about whatever comes up. Keep it relaxed and honest. You may even make a new friend! You can also spend some time helping others to develop a positive outlook. Try volunteering in your community. Look for opportunities where you can make a difference, like organizing a political rally, joining a committee at your church or house of worship, or helping at a community garden. You may find that you really enjoy it. You can make a real difference and you'll learn to be more kind and positive as you work with other people to accomplish something good.
Tips
References
- ↑ Adam Dorsay, PsyD. Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker. Expert Interview. 11 April 2019.
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-be-more-empathetic.html
- ↑ https://www.inc.com/melody-wilding/7-habits-of-highly-empathetic-people.html
- ↑ https://www.forbes.com/sites/trustedadvisor/2012/09/11/the-practice-of-empathy/?sh=26a11f8e58d6
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/201809/learn-empathy-in-just-5-steps
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-be-more-empathetic.html
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-be-more-empathetic.html
- ↑ https://diversity.berkeley.edu/films-videos-podcasts
- ↑ https://www.nytimes.com/article/how-to-be-more-empathetic.html
About This Article
To be more understanding, start by practicing empathy, or putting yourself in other people’s shoes, in all of your interactions. Additionally, actively listen to others by asking questions, reacting to emotions, and sharing related experiences. You’ll also want to pay attention to body language to better understand people’s moods and intentions. For example, slouched shoulders could indicate fear or a lack of confidence. Regardless of their intentions, make sure to treat everyone with kindness and respect. To learn how to better understand yourself, keep reading!
Reader Success Stories
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"I really wanted to be able to understand people better and become closer with my friends. This article was very helpful for that, and actually made my day. Thank you, great job to the writers"..." more