Become the Femme Fatale: 18 Exciting Ways to Be Absolutely Irresistible

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Revealing all the delicious tricks of the exquisite femme fatale who's on everyone's mind

Co-authored by Madeleine Flamiano Reviewed by Reina LeGrand

Last Updated: December 9, 2024 Fact Checked

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What’s the meaning of “femme fatale”?

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Femme Fatale Personality Traits

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Femme Fatale Aesthetic

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Ah, the femme fatale—to paraphrase Mildred Piece, “the kind of woman every soul in the room wants!” The Hollywood noir legend from the 1940s has a point: it’s just too tempting to chase after a femme fatale. But what if you want to become her? If you do, that's completely understandable. After all, she's smart, confident, seductive, and above all, powerful. If you’re dying to possess all of her mysterious beauty, we’ll tell you exactly how to be dangerously sexy just like her. So, get ready to play, darling. Here, you'll learn all the secrets to transforming yourself into an unforgettable femme fatale.

Things You Should Know

Always put yourself first and go after what you want—a femme fatale is ruthlessly ambitious and unapologetic about making herself a priority.
Seduce people with your very presence—wear ensembles that make you feel fabulous, put on a bewitching signature scent, and carry yourself like a movie star.
Be excitingly unpredictable. If you're usually composed, show your passionate side by sharing emotions. If you often flirt, display smarts, like your debate skills.
To remain a mystery, don't reveal your next move or your amazing plans. Instead, impress the world with all you pull off and make everyone wonder how you did it.

Section 1 of 3:

What’s the meaning of “femme fatale”?

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A “femme fatale” is a woman who’s glamorous and powerful. Technically, “femme fatale” is French for “fatal (or dangerous) woman.” Really, she’s just “dangerous” because she’s unstoppably seductive. In movies, you can find all sorts of femmes fatales, from old Hollywood starlets to today’s celebrities. In books, she might be an undercover spy or just a seductress that wants to toy with people. Wherever you find her, the femme fatale is the ultra-attractive woman whose mysterious beauty is her secret weapon.^{[1]
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- You could say that a femme fatale has a certain “je ne sais quoi”—that’s just another fun French phrase that roughly translates to “I don’t know what it is (about her)!”
- Here's a clue: most are so drawn to the femme fatale because she has a quiet confidence and is always elegant. When she slinks into the room, she’s impeccably dressed and looks sure of herself.
- Classic femmes fatales include actresses in noir films, like Ava Gardner. In comics, Black Widow and Catwoman qualify as femmes fatales. A great example of a modern femme fatale is Angelina Jolie in Mr. and Mrs. Smith or any current Bond woman.

Section 2 of 3:

Femme Fatale Personality Traits

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Always put yourself first. Ultimately, a femme fatale is ruthlessly ambitious. She doesn’t step over people with her killer stilettos, though. To channel her independence and driven attitude, set goals and achieve them. Above all, focus on yourself and what thrills you. When you get to the top without needing anyone, you’ll leave everyone breathless.^{[2]
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- For example, if someone you're dating wants to have a spontaneous dinner out, but you'd prefer to pull an all-nighter to work on a project that will impress your colleagues, say, "I really can't—duty calls. Marketing, you know? How about this weekend?"
- Remember, it's not selfish to make yourself your number one priority. If anything, loving yourself makes you an empowering icon to look up to.
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Be independent. To be a true femme fatale, rely on yourself and only yourself. While it’s fun to fantasize about a lover or see if your friends will call you up, focus on being happy on your own. Develop your own passions and carve out plenty of time for personal growth and self-improvement. Once you discover you’re all you need, people will notice the way you glow with self-assurance.^{[3]
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- You can form meaningful relationships with people, but you remember—even if you’re dating the lover of your dreams, it’s best if you act like you don't need them.
- Let your SOs know your philosophy about enjoying lovers but not depending on them with a remark like, "I really appreciate and value your company. It's a great bonus to have you in my life."
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Be confident about the power you have. Before you head out to take over the world, say some affirmations. For instance, tell yourself, “I am an incredible woman, and anyone who meets me is lucky!” Believe in yourself and the way you can work a room—you’ll rack up a ton of fans and have them all wrapped around your finger.^{[4]
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- If you notice that everyone is looking at you, don't doubt yourself. Congratulate yourself. You've single-handedly managed to steal the show just by walking in.
- When you see someone you want to befriend or win over, give yourself an inner pep talk like, "Of course they'll fall for me and all I have to offer. Everyone does! I just have to be myself."
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Act “expensive” so everyone treats you like a star. Carry yourself like royalty or a celebrity. Hold your head up high, practice good posture, and walk gracefully. When you socialize with others, act mildly amused so it seems like you aren’t worried about being popular—you’re just there to have a good time.^{[5]
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- Ask for your "signature drink" with conviction because you know what you want and expect it. For example, instead of waiting for a bartender's attention, announce, "I'll have a Dark and Stormy—thank you."
- Play hard to get and give everyone the sense that your schedule is booked because you're so sought after. Casually make a remark like, "Well, this has been fun, and maybe we'll run into each other again."
- Unavailability can be really sexy. For example, if a man reaches out and asks to catch up, but you want to get him to chase you, tell him, "I'm all booked up. Check in with me next week."
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Carry yourself with poise and grace. Treat yourself and the people around you with respect. Practice common courtesy, like asking for someone’s name. Show that you’re dignified and prove that manners matter to you. For instance, thank a hostess for inviting you to a party. Remain composed and put together the entire time you’re out. Everyone will see you as the epitome of a real lady and idolize you.^{[6]
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- Show that you're kind to other women. When you express interest in them instead of upstaging or ignoring them, you'll demonstrate the strength of your character. For example, say, "It's nice to see you again, Susan. How is your graduate program going? It sounds fascinating!"
- Avoid consuming too much alcohol while you're out—just one drink should be enough if you want to enjoy yourself a bit.
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Dazzle with your smarts. Being beautiful with brains only adds to your sex appeal. Don’t ever be afraid to show off your brains or to let people see that they’re dealing with an interesting, intelligent woman who isn’t afraid to say what’s on her mind. Be proud of how hard you work, how much you read, and how well you do in school. Your intelligence will be yet another trait that makes admirers flock to you.^{[7]
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- Don’t be afraid to challenge people. State your ideas and back them up with evidence. You’re smart enough to do it. Start off with a remark like, "Interesting perspective. I have to disagree, however. Here's what I've noticed..."
- Be a sparkling conversationalist. Femmes fatales have charming personalities that are endlessly fascinating. To be the woman everyone talks about, discuss what you've learned with lots of enthusiasm.
- For instance, bring up a subject you've been immersed in—"I've recently gotten into a bit of Egyptology, and there's just been a new discovery about how the pyramids have been built..."
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Keep things fun with your marvelous sense of humor. You don’t need to be dark and serious all the time if you want to be a femme fatale. Instead, laugh at yourself, show off your razor-sharp wit, and keep the conversation going with great banter. Play around and prove how clever you are so everyone craves your presence.^{[8]
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- Some of the greatest femmes fatales are known for their funny and incisive comments, such as Ingrid Bergman’s words, "Happiness is good health and a naughty memory."
- If someone makes a little joke to you like, "Sorry! When I get carried away, I splash two-dollar words all over the place," laugh and be ready with your own stellar quip: "A two-dollar word?! Don't undersell yourself. That's worth at least ten."
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Keep things interesting with a dash of unpredictability. To become the woman everyone talks about, make your personality stand out. For example, if you’re usually quiet and composed, spice everything up by respectfully debating about a subject you’re passionate about. Reveal different sides of yourself and people will beg to learn more.^{[9]
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- If you've always been flirtatious, show off your more serious nature. You might wish to discuss important matters like politics or psychology.
- Have you held your cards close to your chest? Suddenly, be a little more vulnerable and soft. Put your hand on someone's shoulder and show them some empathy.
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Show up in unusual places. You don’t need to go anywhere that doesn’t make you feel safe, but you try to spend time in more unique and less expected places. This is the best way to meet more interesting people, after all. Visit an obscure, artsy coffee shop, a clandestine nightclub or speakeasy, or even an eccentric antique shop. Don’t make it obvious when you enter or exit a new place, and work on slinking in and out of rooms.^{[10]
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- Pick places with dim lighting to help maintain your dark, mysterious image.
- You can find a place you like, but mix up your haunts so you don't become a regular and you do keep people guessing. For example, skip your morning coffee for a brunch two cities away.
A femme fatale has her eye on the prize, but she doesn't tell anyone that. Perhaps you want to make someone fall in love with you or just seduce them. Then again, your agenda might not be romance at all. Maybe you're gunning to get a promotion or publish a book. Keep any and all details under wraps and dazzle the world later.^{[11]
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Section 3 of 3:

Femme Fatale Aesthetic

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Go for old Hollywood glamour to become a classic femme fatale. If you want to look like a legendary femme fatale from the silver screen, add dark, sexy, and retro pieces to your wardrobe. Pick clothes that are well-cut and draw subtle attention to your curves in a tasteful way. Opt for darker colors such as black, maroon, or emerald green.^{[12]
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- Try out sumptuous evening wear, like silk cocktail dresses. Also make sure to have the perfect red dress for your complexion.
- If you prefer jeans over dresses, grab a great pair of leather pants. For vintage sophistication, wear a pair of high-waisted jeans.
- Experiment with fun and chic accessories—wear bedazzled fishnet tights or slip into a fur coat.
- Pair your look with high heels, but make sure you know how to walk in them to pull it off.
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Slide into any outfit you adore for a "twist" on the femme fatale look. Maybe you love to go people-watching in a cafe while wearing a sweater, jeans, and a secretive smile. Or, perhaps your poison is donning a floral maxi-dress and jeweled sandals as you sweet-talk an attractive stranger. As long as you see yourself as a goddess, you’ll be worshiped as a style icon.^{[13]
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- Ultimately, a femme fatale wears whatever makes her feel fabulous. When she's pleased with her ensemble, she walks around with unmistakable confidence.
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Look sexy, but leave something to the imagination. Femmes fatales are famous for how enticing and seductive they are, but they're also masterful at teasing people just enough. Feel free to show off a bit of your legs, wear low-cut tops, or display your gorgeous back, but make sure just to show a little skin.^{[14]
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- Femmes fatales don’t need to wear extra risqué clothes because the way they carry themselves do that work for them. Having a naturally sexy, mysterious, and seductive personality is what draws people in.
- In the words of the great Bette Davis, “I often think that a slightly exposed shoulder emerging from a long satin nightgown packs more sex than two naked bodies in bed.”
- If you’re wearing a more revealing top, then wear a more conservative skirt with it, and vice versa.
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Wear an intoxicating signature scent. For an easy way to enchant whoever you have your eye on, dab on a fragrance they won’t ever forget. You might want to come across as feminine, refreshing, and just a little spicy, so consider a perfume with vanilla, citrus, and cinnamon notes. Whenever you’re around—or even when you leave—people will be smitten by how delicious you are.^{[15]
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- As inspiration, think of your "femme fatale" alter ego. Does she prefer to come across as sweet and charming, or is she richly seductive?
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Choose a hairstyle that makes you feel like a seductress. For example, style your hair with an extreme side part and Veronica Lake-esque waves. Or, wear it in a dramatically short style like Jean Harlow. For inspiration, study pictures of your favorite actresses on the red carpet or choose a film noir icon to find that perfect coiff to "wow" everyone with.^{[16]
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- Try not to reveal your entire face. Let your curls or waves fall over the side of your face to keep some of your features shrouded and mysterious.
- Try an A-line cut for a bold and enticing look.
- If you want to model yourself off of a vintage femme fatale, stick to true, bold hair colors, like platinum blonde, dark brown, black, or auburn.
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Rock the femme fatale's red lipstick. To truly bewitch others as a femme fatale, you have to know how to wear red lipstick. Luckily, it's simple—just apply the best lipstick that fits your skin tone, consider using some lip liner to emphasize your look, and check your lips with a compact every few hours to see if you need to reapply it.^{[17]
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- Since red lipstick is the signature part of the classic femme fatale look, you can keep the rest of your makeup minimal if you prefer that.
- To maintain your sense of mystery, remember to reapply your lipstick in the restroom, where other people can't see you.
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Enhance your exquisite features with alluring makeup. Wear foundation that complements your skin tone, give yourself a bit of blush, and work on that smoky-eyed look. Just put some dark eyeshadow, such as a brown or a gray, on your eyelids, use eyeliner to trace the top of your eyelids, and wear a dark mascara on your top lashes to emphasize those long lashes. For an added effect, make cat eyes, which make you look even more seductive.^{[18]
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- Avoid wearing glittery or shimmery makeup if you want to be a femme fatale. That may look too young and playful if you're going for a mature and mysterious persona.
- You can also play around with false eyelashes, or "falsies," for an added touch.
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Accessorize like a femme fatale. Try to add an elegant and upscale touch to your ensemble. Find one or two signature items that everyone will associate you with so you can rock the most seductive, mysterious look out there. Here are some gorgeous add-ons that you can try to complete your wardrobe as a fashionable femme fatale:^{[19]
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- 1940s sunglasses
- Black satin gloves
- Fascinators
- Fur collars
- Clutch purses
- Classic diamond or pearl earrings

Expert Q&A

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How can a woman be stronger and more independent?

Rahti Gorfien, PCC
Life Coach
Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018.

Rahti Gorfien, PCC

Life Coach

Expert Answer

As women, we're trained to please others, so we are trained to care a lot about what other people think of us. The more we can learn to be happy with ourselves and stop worrying about what other people think of our choices and of us, the more strength and independence we cultivate. You've got to let people be unhappy. You can't keep everybody happy. It's being able to know where you end and the other person begins. That's where you begin to cultivate and strengthen independence. You can't change other people and you don't have to change for other people. Learning to be more compassionate and empathetic is a good thing. It is not a weakness. But learning to do so and maintain your separateness and know that it's okay if everybody doesn't love you, that's where you start to cultivate strength and independence.

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How I can stop worrying about what other people think?

Rahti Gorfien, PCC
Life Coach
Rahti Gorfien is a Life Coach and the Founder of Creative Calling Coaching, LLC. She specializes in working with artists, entrepreneurs, and college students in creative fields. Rahti is accredited as a Professional Certified Coach (PCC) by the International Coach Federation, an ACCG Accredited ADHD Coach by the ADD Coach Academy, and a Career Specialty Services Provider (CSS). In addition, she has personal experience in the fields she coaches - she is an alumnus of the New York University Graduate Acting program and has been a working theater artist for over 30 years. She was voted one of the 15 Best Life Coaches in New York City by Expertise in 2018.

Rahti Gorfien, PCC

Life Coach

Expert Answer

You have to realize that the only person's thoughts you have control over are your own. If you catch yourself worrying, it's important to remember that it is an abuse of the imagination. When we worry, we are obsessing in a negative way about something that doesn't exist or hasn't happened. In order to stop worrying about what other people are thinking, notice when you're doing it, and then pause and make a choice. Choose where else you want to put your attention. This is a lifelong process. Realizing that you spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of you is a positive thing because that's the first step.

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Can I be a femme fatale if I'm Black?

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Of course! Anyone of any ethnicity can be a femme fatale. It's a very inclusive feminine archetype that leaves room for anyone who would like to channel their most glamorous and mysterious selves. If you're in the mood to dress up and dial up the charm, you're ready to embody a femme fatale.

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